Chapter thirty-two

Becca

I watched the other cars and life itself pass me by as I peered out the window. The air conditioning kept me cool, and for some reason it made me think. Tyreece and I have been in the car for quite a while now, and were wrapped up in a comfortable atmosphere as soft R&B emitted from the radio. I was feeling so optimistic right now, but like I said, I plan to have fun tonight, and I didn't really care how.

"You're quiet," Ty acknowledged as he kept his eyes on the road.

"Just enjoying the ride," I answered faintly.

He nodded and finally turned to look at me, as we were now at the traffic lights. "I can't get over your dress." His eyes ran over my body briefly and I laughed. He was such a douche.

"What about it?"

"Never seen you in one before. You look amazing."

I smiled in appreciation. "Thanks muffin, you're not looking too bad yourself."

I admired his lovely sharp grey suit, which wasn't much of a suit right now since he was only in his shirt and trousers instead. His fresh shape-up didn't go unnoticed either, not to mention the shiny diamond stud gleaming from his ear. He looked cute, I wanted to squeeze his cheeks and coo at him but I managed to restrain myself. I didn't understand how someone could look so adorable, yet fuckable at the same time. Or maybe it was just me?

He chuckled. "I don't usually throw out compliments but for you its necessary."

"Same here, but don't get used to it." 

"Too late." He gave a cheeky smile and I laughed in return. He was awesome, maybe even more so than Shubdi. I didn't think it was ever possible but now that Drake was with this Aaliyah chick he's become so boring and ordinary, I needed someone new to be unorthodox with me.

He eventually parked and cut the engine. "I'll be back," he said. He opened the door then stepped out and walked off to the parking meter.

I took the time to apply more Vaseline and peer around at my surroundings. The bright London city lights blinded me for a split second. I didn't realise West End could be so live at this time.

There came a knock at the window, I turned, ready to punch them through the glass, but paused and gave a warm smile when I saw Ty's gentle face. He opened the door for me. I thanked him and stepped out then waited patiently for him to lock the car with his keys. I followed his lead and we walked down the pavement. The cool breeze caused goosebumps to form on the surface of my arms and cleavage. I shivered. I should have brought a damn coat with me.

He turned to me. "You cold?"

"A little." He removed his suit and rested it over my shoulders. I smiled in appreciation. "Thanks."

"It's fine." 

We walked in silence for a bit with his arm securely around me. I felt so protected and warm, which was something I hadn't felt in a long while. It gave me time to think about relationships and other boys and...shit.

C'mon Becc's, don't start feeling depressed now. The night has only just begun!

"You alright?" I looked towards Ty's serene face and gave a weak satisfying smile in return.

"Course, I'm with you."

He smiled gently. "Tryna flatten me?"

"Is it working?"

"Definitely," he whispered.

I laughed. "Like I said, don't get used to it."

"It's nice coming from you." He licked his lips and smirked at me. For some reason I felt a mild spark from inside. I dunno what it was, but something was triggered just by his sexy smile.

"Aww Ty, you muffin." He quirked a brow in question and I laughed. "You're cute." He rolled his eyes and we eventually stopped outside a nice small restaurant. "Bar Italia," I read aloud.

"I hope you're hungry."

"I'm fucking starving!" He chuckled and the dimple in his left cheek appeared faintly. I cooed mentally, it was adorable.

We headed inside and were welcomed by the warm inviting atmosphere. My body shivered and finally relaxed. After a few minutes we were both seated at the quiet area around the back by the window. The ambience was perfect; nice and calm with only a few people—plus the smell of the food was banging! I licked my lips and could already envision what my full plate would look like...lawd Jesus Christ.

"I actually wasn't expecting a restaurant," I admitted.

He shrugged lightly as he took hold of the menu, then handed me the other. "It's the least I could do, Rebecca. Just helping out a friend."

I smiled at his words. "I appreciate it. Next time we shouldn't park so far away, my stomach's speaking in tongues." I frowned slightly. His eyes slowly shifted upwards again to meet mine. Then his defined lips smirked in that same damn way.

"So there'll be a next time?" he asked quietly. It made me think to myself; I didn't even realise that I had said it, it just came out.

"Maybe..." I murmured hesitantly.

He laughed again then looked back to his menu. I honestly wouldn't mind spending more time with Ty this way; he was good company, if there had to be a next time then whatever.

We soon ordered and the food came rapidly, which was unlike any other restaurant. Probably because they knew that the female BOSS was in town. I stared at my lovely plate-full of Chicken Escalope with Parmesan and began to dig in. Needless to say it tasted fucking extraordinary, the right seasoning and spices—damn. Ty picked up his Ciabatta Bread Sandwich and began to munch away.

We shared a comfortable silence as we ate, didn't feel awkward at all; he looked so cute when he ate. Well, he looked adorable regardless. I noticed something else on his plate that didn't look too great. I swallowed the bit of chicken I had in my mouth and looked at it.

"The hell is that?" I asked, pointing to it.

He laughed. "Connoli, wanna try some?"

"Nah I'm okay. Looks like sperm in a roll." He started laughing; I smiled and continued to eat.

"So how's work and that?" he asked, still eating his massive meat-packed sandwich.

"Its okay can still be shit at times but I just get on with it." He nodded slowly. "How are things down at the track?"

"Going good. Coach says I'm one of the best runners, gonna enter me in the Wandsworth competition against everyone else." He smiled.

"Ah, that's wicked. I'd high five you but this chicken is sexy." I took another bite and he smiled.

"You gimme joke, Becc's." He then took a sip of his water. I swallowed and sprinkled more pepper.

"How so?" I asked.

"You just do. And even after all you've gone through you still manage to keep positive. One of the things I like about you. I admire that."

I smiled appreciatively. "Thanks Ty, that's nice of you."

He laughed. "We've been throwing compliments since we left your yard."

"I know, it's weird. We're usually fighting and threatening each other." We both laughed in unison. So far so good. I was having a great time with Tyreece, he was actually being a proper gentleman; I had respect for him. 

Once we were finished I ordered some Tiramisu Chocolate Cake, it was THE SEX. I ate it down slowly just to savour the taste, and then this fool brought his spoon towards my plate. I gave him a deadly glare.

"What are you doing?" I asked in a low tone.

"Trying some."

"I'm sorry, I recall you ordering your own dessert. Don't try come at mine, I'll stab you." I narrowed my eyes and he smirked.

"Would you really?"

"Yeah, I would."

He gave me a look. "Go on then," he challenged.

I screwed. "Don't test me, Ty."

"I'm giving you permission to jook me. Try it." He gave a wry smile.

He placed his hand in the middle of the table. I lifted my fork and brought it down slowly to his hand, hoping he'd move it, but he didn't. The fork came to contact with his hand, I wanted to push it deeper in order to pierce his skin but I couldn't. I actually couldn't bring myself to cause any form of harm to him, which wasn't like me at all.

Damn Becc's; you're turning soft. This can't run.

I kissed my teeth and moved the fork. He laughed.

"Thought so," he chimed.

"Just shut up and take some," I muttered.

He chuckled and took a spoonful, then licked his lips. "Mmm." I laughed and he gestured his plate full of cake and custard closer towards me. "Have some," he offered.

I gave him a look like he had poisoned it. "Why?"

"What's mine is yours," he said softly. I smiled and took a spoonful. Nice, but not as nice as mine.

"What's yours is mine, yeah? Does this mean I can take more hoodies?" I asked with a glint of hope.

"Don't push it," he stated firmly. I kissed my teeth. He drank some of his water and refilled it with some yellow liquid. I raised a brow. "Ew, what is it?"

"Limoncello Liquor."

I shook my head. "Looks like piss."

He laughed. "Tastes nice, try some."

"I don't like urine, sorry."

He grabbed my glass and poured some in before handing the glass back to me. "Try some," he said again.

I rolled my eyes and took a sip. My eyes widened. Tasted like lemon and other nice assortments. I licked my lips and downed the whole thing.

We spoke for a while until our food was collected and replaced with the bill. I felt stuffed. I rubbed my stomach as he went into his wallet and took out a few notes, leaving them on the table.

"Come let's go," he said.

I struggled to stand up, when I eventually did, we left. The cold hair hit me again as soon as we stepped back outside. It was a contrast to the warm air I had been in for over an hour now. I shuddered and puffed out a gust of air. He rubbed my arms and smiled.

"Should've brought a jacket," he chided.

"Should'a would'a could'a; doesn't make a difference. I didn't think about it at the time."

He chuckled lightly. "Want mine?"

"I'll be fine, thanks."

We walked down the road hand in hand, cracking jokes and chatting shit. I always thought I could be myself around Kayden without having to hold anything back. I guess the same applied to Ty. I felt incredibly relaxed around him. The atmosphere was perfect and the mood was cheerful.

"I got one; if you could be any man in the world for a day, who would you be and what would you do?" he asked with a gentle squeeze to my hand.

"That's easy. Gordon Ramsey, I'd dive off a cliff and kill myself."

He laughed. "Abit extreme. Why?"

"So he would no longer exist. He annoys me." He chuckled and shook his head. "What about you, what woman would you be?"

"Megan Good. I'd stare at myself naked in the mirror for ages."

I started creasing. "You're sad."

He laughed. "Another one. Where would your dream location be to make love?"

I did a sly smirk. "On the beach at night," I answered without hesitation. 

He knew this. I remember when we discussed my first time, stupid fool was delusional enough to think it was appropriate to take my virginity on a beach in Hawaii. I simply laughed and told him he could never afford to take me on holiday, especially to Hawaii. The prick.

"Sounds romantic," he muttered.

"Yeah, what about you?"

"Always wanted to do it in the kitchen."

I laughed. "Freak." He gave a cheeky smile. I rolled my eyes and looked at the pavement in thought. "I can't believe you're no longer shy, after all these years."

"You brought me out my shell."

I smiled broadly. He was so cheesy but it was a sweet thing to say. We continued walking till I realised we had been strolling for ages; it's been roughly 15 minutes. That can’t be right.

"Where the hell is your car?" I asked.

"We're not going to the car just yet," he announced.

I raised a brow. "The hell are you taking me?" He pointed ahead and I followed the direction of his finger. My eyes fell on one of London's biggest main attractions. I shook my head in disbelief. "Seriously Ty, you didn't have to," I muttered.

"Shh, c'mon."

We crossed the road and got in line. I couldn't believe he had this planned. Such a sly prick. When we were at the front of the line we were greeted by the cheerful man who had recognised Ty's face and name as he had already booked the slot for 10:45.

"£70.08 please, sir," he said.

My eyes widened. I felt like telling Ty not to hand the money over, but I knew he wouldn't listen to reason. We were handed the tickets and soon we stepped inside. It was weird being in this kind of environment; I've always wondered what being inside the capsule was like. I sat on the soft bench and stared out the glass window as we slowly began to drift upwards into the air.

"The London Eye, Ty? Taking me out to eat was more than enough, and now you've got me in the London Eye drinking a bottle of expensive champagne?!"

He chuckled. "I just wanted you to enjoy your night," he said, swirling the sweet-tasting champagne around in his glass. I got comfortable in my seat and watched him.

"I am, I'm having a good time with you. You've really outdone yourself."

He gave a gentle smile before looking away. "You deserve the best Rebecca, I didn't want you to be alone, especially on Valentine's Day...just wanted to make it up to you." I cooed; the shy tendencies were seeping in.

"Well I'm more than grateful. Thank God I'm sat down though, these heels are killing!" I kicked them off to give my feet some air. He laughed as I rested my feet on his lap. I gave him a cheesy grin and he began to massage my feet. He was so weird, I didn't even ask.

"You didn't have to, I was just gonna use you as a foot-rest."

"I want to," he said playing with my toes. I laughed and threatened to kick him in the jaw if he didn't stop. He eventually did and we relaxed and spoke about things as I sipped on my beverage. "Ever been in the London Eye before?"

I shook my head. "First time."

"What d’you think?"

"It's relaxing." I peered out onto the horizon; I had a clear view of London from where we were at this point. The whole city literally sparkled and the evening sky was dotted with numerous glimmering stars. It was a sexy sight. "I never realised it was this beautiful at night," I muttered, still watching the glowing buildings.

"You're beautiful," I heard him say. I turned to him and realised he was watching me.

I quickly turned away with a pout. "Stop."

"What?"

"Just stop."

He chuckled. "I'm not doing anything. Can't you take a compliment?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Just can't."

"Well you should. I wouldn't lie."

I sighed before glancing at those soft brown eyes. "Thanks, Ty."

He smiled. "That's better." I felt my heart thump and hastily turned away. "You're right though, it's nice up here."

"Yeah. I can't even tell if we're moving or not."

He laughed. "I can, it just goes slow."

I analysed the view, taking in the bustling scenery with a faint smile. "I actually don't want this to end."

"Mm," he grunted in agreement, taking a sip of his champagne. Now I was beginning to feel a little dizzy.

"Maybe I should stop drinking," I groaned, putting the glass down.

"Can't handle it?"

"Nah. Feel like throwing up."

"Aww, come."

I edged over to him and rested on his shoulder. He slid his arm around my waist and gently rubbed my stomach, just like he used to: slow and gentle, circular motion. It was weird how similar they both were, I tried my best to ignore it but it was hard to move past such a small detail.

"You're making me tired," I said with a yawn.

I remember when he would always stroke my stomach, I'd fall asleep instantly. There was no actual explanation as to why it happened, but I'd just feel tired straight away. It was soothing the way Ty did it though. His big strong hands caressed my belly slowly. I didn't even mind - I just didn't want to throw up.

"Don't fall asleep on me Becc's," he whispered in my ear.

I yawned again and closed my eyes. "I won't," I lied.

"Mm." He gently kissed my forehead and I smiled to myself.

"Ty..."

"Yeah?"

"I hope you know I'll be paying you back."

He chuckled lightly. "This was my treat, I don't want your money." His sensual deep voice rumbled my ear drums.

"If you say so."

"I do. Just forget about it. Paying me should be the least of your worries."

I opened one eye to peer at him. "So what should be my main worry?" I questioned curiously.

"When we'll be able to do this again," he spoke softly in my ear.

I laughed and I peered out of the glass window once again. I realised we were now further down and less high up. No doubt it would soon be over in the next 20 minutes.

"I spy with my sexy eye, something beginning with T," I declared.

He hesitated and rubbed his chin as he played along. "Tower?" 

"Nope, it's inside."

"Tongue?"

I turned and gave him a blank look. "You're terrible at this game." He pinched my stomach and I laughed. "Oww you bitch."

He smiled. "What was the answer?"

"Toes!" I wriggled my feet and he rolled his eyes.

"You expected me to guess that?"

"Yeah, wasn't that hard." He kissed his teeth and I laughed.

Eventually it was over and we soon got back to the car and drove in a comfortable silence. I wound the window down and enjoyed the breeze seeping into the car and the feel of the smooth engine humming quietly beneath us. I closed my eyes and relaxed the whole way home. He eventually parked and I opened my eyes to see I was back on my street. The streetlights were on and the area was quiet as it was late. Tyreece turned to me and smiled. I returned the smile and unlinked my seatbelt.

"Thanks for a nice evening, I really did enjoy myself," I said genuinely.

"Like I said, I wanted you to have a good time."

I smiled. "And I did, you awesome guy." He chuckled and I turned to open the car door.

"Becc's." I froze and looked back to witness him watching me closely. "Your present," he reminded me, and both our eyes shifted to the glove compartment.

"Oh...oh yeah." I opened it up and reached inside to grab the jewellery box that I had left in there, and then I looked at him. Why do I feel so anxious? "You want me to open it now?"

He gave a brief nod. I slowly opened up the jewellery box to reveal a jewellery set of a necklace and a pair of earrings. The pendant was diamond encrusted in the shape of a sparkling heart, with the earrings to match. It was such a nice gift; I couldn't hide the wide grin as it crept up on my face.

"I like it," I muttered quietly. "You really didn't have to."

"I wanted to." I hugged him close and gave him a gentle squeeze. He held me tight and we embraced for a few minutes.

"Thank you Ty," I whispered. He left my embrace and gave a gentle smile.

"It’s cool. You deserve someone special Becc's."

I shrugged. "I suppose."

He stroked my thigh then leaned closer and laid a soft kiss on my cheek. "I'll call you," he said.

I couldn't help but think back to the last time I saw him, which was in his car. I'll call you was the last thing he ever said to me. And that was almost 4 months ago now. It was like experiencing déjà vu being sat here with Tyreece. I've already lost someone important to me; I sure as hell wasn't gonna lose another.

"Make sure you do," I commanded with a light smile. He laughed and I stepped out the car, shutting the door as I left.

I felt his eyes on my as I walked to my door and opened it with my keys. I turned back and smiled as he waved at me then drove off down the road. I entered my house and sighed. I haven't had such an amazing night in ages; I must remember to pay him back one day. I owed Ty a lot.

The house was dark and silent. I kicked off my heels and slowly trudged upstairs. I went to my room and tied my hair up then got changed and went straight to bed without waking Claycia. As I lay there I couldn't help but think about how much of a nice dude Ty was, and how kind he's been to me in these past few weeks. I was more than appreciative; he really was a nice boy. I touched my necklace and stroked it, thinking of tonight and how much fun I had. His kindness wouldn't go unnoticed.

I put my phone on charge and lay there staring at the ceiling. Something didn't feel right, but I didn't know exactly what it was, just felt as if a piece of me was missing. I felt almost empty and drained. I lacked a specific element. I looked around the room and felt slightly iffy, and then my eyes laid on the hoody that had been thrown on the chair from quite some time ago.

His hoody...

Kayden's hoody.

I quickly stood up and went over to the chair and picked it up, then lay back down and held it close to me. Now I felt complete. I didn't know what it was but I loved everything about his hoodies; the scent, the texture—everything. Plus it just reminded me of him, made me believe that he was actually there, this close to me. His hoody was the only thing that has kept me going since he left; it was his favourite one. I missed him so much and I had no idea where he was, who he was with, what he was up to, or when he was coming back. I dunno how much more I can take. I never use to depend on him like this; I was just confused as to why he was gone.

I sighed and inhaled the aroma of Lynx and other cologne's that lingered on his hoody. Look at me lying here smelling this pricks clothing items like I have no life. This is something Brooklyn would do if Charles ever left her. I used to be better than this; I never cared for another boy, and now look at me. I sighed and closed my eyes.

Fuck you, Kayden.

The next morning I awoke with a bad neck. I rolled around on my side to see Claycia sat there going through her phone. I got out of bed and went straight downstairs into the kitchen to see Uncle Clayton cooking breakfast. He turned to me.

"Wah'um babygyal."

I smiled and went to the fridge then took out the bottle of orange juice and poured it into a glass. "Morning uncle," I greeted groggily. I sipped at my juice and he patted my back.

"Yuh 'ave fun las' night?"

"Erm, yeah it was good," I said slowly. I shut my eyes ready to be bombarded with the thousands of questions he was bound to ask. I was surprised to hear silence; I opened my eyes to see he was back near the stove.

I sighed in relief and put my glass away. First time he didn't ask any questions.

"Where's dad?" I asked.

"Garn shop," he replied.

I nodded and went upstairs to have a shower. An hour later I was refreshed and relaxed with Claycia then decided to do some Media coursework. I had lost track of time and eventually fell asleep till Diamond came and woke me up, begging for me to do her hair. I felt so tired, as if I didn't have enough sleep or some shit. I parted her hair and yawned.

"Tired?" she asked.

"Yeah, I need another nap," I admitted.

"Naps are the best; I took one yesterday but forgot to do my homework

I laughed. "Did you get in trouble?"

"No! Teacher can't tell me nothin'." She kissed her teeth and I laughed.

"Damn right."

"Last time Miss Porter try send me out the class I told her 'bout herself." She shrugged. She was only 9, and this rude already. Lord knows how she'd be once she was my age; probably worse than I was right now. The moment she turns 17, it'll be a whole new judgement day!

I eventually finished and she ran off to play with Andre, that ghost boy. He was barely in the house anymore, always with his girl Jasmine. He was in love probably. I never knew he could feel such an emotion; he was like a brick wall. I entered Kieran's room to see if I could steal some money. He was doing well at his new job at the construction site, his money was rolling in, which was more beneficial to me whenever I was broke. I opened his door to see him lying there on the phone, probably to one of his whores. Fuck, was hoping he wouldn't be in the house. He looked at me and I stared back.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing. When are you leaving?"

"Not going out today."

"Better make some arrangements."

He raised a brow. "Why?"

"It's a nice day, too nice to be staying inside, don't you think?"

He shrugged. "Might go see my boy."

"Good. Be sure to leave your money in the top drawer." His face changed and I quickly closed the door and headed downstairs. As soon as he leaves that money will be mine, then I can finally get that new bag in RiverIsland.

I got downstairs and curled up on the sofa then began texting Brooks. She was still out with Charles from last night. No doubt they had their usual session. When she becomes pregnant I'll laugh in her face and walk off. After awhile the doorbell sounded. I opened the front door to see Grace stood there with a genuine smile on her face. I returned the smile and let her in.

"What you doing here?" I asked.

"Was in the neighbourhood."

I smiled. That just meant she was back from Chris' yard, he lived literally round the corner. I led her upstairs to my room which was empty since Clay went out with a few new friends from school. Lord knows where, as long as she was safe I couldn't really give a damn. She sat on my bed and I sat on the chair, right next to his hoody. I looked at it and sighed.

"How was your day cupcake?" I asked, trying my best to stay in high spirits. She laughed and was hesitant before she spoke.

"It was...okay."

I quirked a brow. "What did you do?"

"Nothing; we just relaxed at his and spent some time together. It's been awhile since we have, so it was good."

I nodded slowly, not entirely convinced. "Did he get you anything?"

"Flowers, a card, a massive teddy-bear, and jewellery."

I gasped in shock. "Damn, Chris is really stepping his game up!"

She laughed. "Yeah, I guess." She looked down at her lap and began to play with her fingers. "Becc's...if I tell you this, will you promise not to say anything to anyone?"

"Nah, I can't make any promises," I answered truthfully.

She giggled. "Well I don't really mind, I have to tell someone anyway."

I leaned closer. "What is it?"

"Last night me and Chris...had sex." My mouth dropped and my eyes became bulbous. I was quite shocked. Grace was always the girl who said no sex before marriage, and here she was getting it in with Chris. Even before me?

"You saucy girl," I whispered. She laughed and appeared shy. "How was it?"

"It was okay I suppose. I mean it was my first time so it was painful, but he made it special. I don't regret it." She smiled and I cooed in return.

"That's fucking cute man, congrats." She chuckled and I noticed the blush in her light skin. "Did he use protection?"

"Yeah, otherwise I wouldn't have allowed it."

"Well done." I gave a thumbs up and she rolled her eyes and laughed. 

"How was your Valentine?" 

"Went out with Tyreece."

She paused. "Shanay's cousin Tyreece?"

"How many Tyreece's do you know?"

"Quite a few actually. How did it go?"

"It was good. Went out to eat, took me to the London eye...we had a good time." I gave a small smile at the memory.

"Sounds romantic, Becc's."

I gave her a look. "What?"

"Is this a sign of you moving on?" I quickly shook my head. No! Hell no!

"Course not, we went out as friends. Ty's a sweet guy, he wanted to spend time with me, I couldn't say no. Plus I would've been bored if I didn't, it was for the best. I enjoyed myself, that's all that matters. He's a good friend."

She nodded slowly as she took this all in. "Seems like he has high interest in you."

I chuckled and shook my head. "Don't be stupid, we're friends."

She nodded. "I believe you."

"You better."

We spoke about her experience and I found the situation funny until she brought up the subject of this prick. I sighed and scratched my head. I didn't want to talk about him, but I knew Grace was the one I could trust when speaking about my feelings regarding him. She wouldn't take the piss or laugh at me; she'd actually try to help me out. Plus she went through the same thing with Chris; she was the only one who understood.

"Heard from him yet?" she asked quietly.

I slowly shook my head and shrugged. "I actually think he's dead."

She frowned at that. "Don't say that, Becc's."

"Just saying. A call or text would be nice, he's just-..." I froze as I heard the front door close. Kieran was gone.

I got up and hastily left the room, heading straight to his and searched his top drawer until I saw a bundle of notes in the corner. I took £50 then left his room, shutting the door behind me and entering my room again then stuffing the notes in my pocket.

"Yeah, so, a call or a text would be nice. He's just left me here confused not knowing what to do with myself. I know he it isn’t on purpose, but he must know that it's affecting me. I don't even know whether to be worried or not," I carried on.

"Try calling him," she suggested.

I gave her a blank look. "What?"

"You heard. Call him, see if he answers."

I rolled my eyes. "Alright."

I retrieved my phone and scrolled down to his number before pressing the green phone and switching it to loud speaker. The phone rang continuously as Grace and I leaned in and waited patiently. After a few minutes I kissed my teeth and locked off and threw my phone down on the chair. 

"Bastard," I muttered.

Part of me knew he wouldn't answer, but the other part had a glisten of hope that he may pick up the phone. I was stupid to believe he would.

Grace sighed. "You sure you have no idea of where he could be?"

"Nope." I picked at my nails, feeling frustrated as to why I should care in the first place.

"Strange," she muttered.

"I'll leave him to do his ting," I mumbled. Grace nodded slowly and decided to change the subject.

"You're birthday soon," she announced with a smile.

I gave her a blank stare and blinked a few times. "Your point?"

"Aren't you gonna do anything?"

"Can't be bothered. That shit is long."

She laughed and leaned back on the bed. "You may change your mind nearer the date."

"I doubt it." Fuck a celebration, it was only an 18th. I never really did care for birthdays, my dad knew this. Ever since my mum passed I just wasn't bothered. 

"You should have a party in a hall," she said.

I started laughing. "You're funny. Like that doesn't cost money."

She rolled her eyes. "It would be live; a good way to forget about your troubles and party with your friends."

"I'll consider it," I said. I won't, but anything to shut her up. 

After a few hours of conversation and Uncle Clayton questioning Grace about her sexuality, she left. I remained bored out my skull as I lay there with my eyes closed and listening to stupid love songs. I sang along to Boiling Point by Keri Hilson as it played through my speakers. It was like this song was made for me.

Every woman has a breaking point ya'll, I know you know—some women can be lied to, and cheated on, and beated on...

"Got that fucking right," I mumbled to myself before rolling over and sighing.

My door then opened and Diamond stepped in with her fresh new hairstyle. She looked so cute with her hair cornrowed into a ponytail. I gave a weak smile as she hopped up on my bed. She poked my nose and I laughed.

"Who sings this song?" she asked as she listened to the lyrics.

"Keri Hilson."

"Ahh seen." I laughed and she noticed my expression. "What's wrong?"

I grunted. "Men. Never get involved with them D."

She nodded slowly, almost with empathy. "I know what you mean, they're all the same. Dutty creatures. Except Zaine." She grinned and I laughed. I forgot the little crush she had on Kayden's brother. They went to the same primary, only thing was Zaine was soon turning 11, and would be moving onto secondary school in a few months. I poked her cheek and smiled.

"How were you born this awesome?" I asked.

"It's in the gene." I chuckled and we played about until it was her bedtime.

I never felt so bored and unoccupied with myself in a long while. The idea of watching grass grow would be more entertaining than what I was doing right now. Lord knows what other problems may come my way, but I hoped to escape from all the relationship and hospital trouble. Then you've got pricks like Hayden and Shanay who still exist for God knows what reason. Not to mention the numerous people who were probably after me. I should really be more careful from now on.

After that whole incident with the shoot-out at work there was no telling what else could go down. I couldn't help but wonder if I was a top wanted person. My phone vibrating interrupted my thoughts. I looked and saw Ty's name flashing. I smiled and answered.

 Me: "Hey Ty." I heard him smile through the phone.

Tyreece: "You alright?"

Me: "Yeah just chillin' like a villain. What's up?"

Tyreece: "Calling to say wagwaan. You wearing your necklace?" I laughed.

Me: "Course, its sexy man. Where did you get it from?"

Tyreece: "Mm, not for you to know."

Me: "Argos?" 

Tyreece: "Nah."

Me: "H. Samuel?"

Tyreece: "Nope."

Me: "Damn." He chuckled.

Tyreece: "You busy next Tuesday?"

Me: "I got 6th form but I'll be finishing early, why?"

Tyreece: "Was wondering if you wanted to come down to the track. I need some support, gotta train for the race next month."

Me: "Oh wicked. Yeah, I'll come. What time?"

Tyreece: "Six. I'll come pick you up."

Me: "Ah okay. Where is it?"

Tyreece: "Tooting Bec. It won't take long." It was the least I could do after he's treated me so nice. I smiled at the idea.

Me: "Okay, you awesome guy." I heard Zion's voice in the background. Completely forgot he existed. "Tell your brother I said he's a prick." He laughed.

Tyreece: "He knows this already."

Me: "Just tell him again for me so he knows just what I think of him."

Tyreece: "Ite... Ey Zy, Becca called you a prick fam." I heard Zion kiss his teeth long and loud. I started creasing.

Me: "Thank you."

Tyreece: "Mm. I'll see you next week yeah?"

Me: "Bye ragamuffin." He locked off and I threw my phone down. Looks like I had a motive next week then. I shrugged and listened to music till early hours in the morning, before gradually falling asleep...

17th of February and my life was still shit. I was living in the moment I guess; had no actual motive or goals in life. Footlocker was still closed down due to the shooting incident; no-one really knew when it would open back up. I couldn't give two shits, at least I was missing some days of work, I didn't mind one bit.

It was quite a hot day considering English weather was usually nothing short of a disappointment. I had just gotten off the phone to Chris, who was on his way to see Grace. No doubt they'll have a repeat of Valentine's day. Lucky bastards. Whilst everyone was still loved up with their partners I was getting closer to death—well, that's what it felt like.

It seems like a long time ago when Ty and I spent the evening together, when in reality it was only 3 days ago. I wished for more days like that, not just with Ty, but all my other friends. I remember the days when I had no worries; all I ever did was fuck about and enjoy life. Now I was always inside wondering where the time had gone. I sighed. I had to do something today. Anything. I got up and went to put my vans on.

"I'm going out!" I called to no-one in particular. Andre and Kieran were at it on the PS3, dad and Uncle Clayton had taken Claycia and Diamond out, so I dunno why I even bothered. I shrugged and grabbed my keys and oyster card before leaving the house.

I walked down the road silently, which was a rarity. Most times I'd occupy myself by skipping down the pavement and waving at random old citizens, but this time I strolled casually. Maybe I was finally maturing, maybe I weren't bothered—but I knew on the inside I was drastically changing. I just didn't know if it was for better or worse.

I eventually reached and rang the doorbell. It was weird being stood outside this door once again, I felt as if I didn't belong anymore. I sighed and waited patiently until the door opened and Sha'riah's face appeared. She saw it was me and smiled weakly before widening the door and hugging me briefly.

"Rebecca, it's been awhile," she muttered with me still in her embrace.

I rubbed her back slowly and sighed. "It has, can I come in?"

"Of course."

I stepped inside and gently closed the door behind me. Being here right now with Kayden's mum reminded me of the day I arrived looking for him a long time ago, which was actually the first day I ever met Sha'riah. She led me into the kitchen and told me to take a seat. I sat on the chair and rested my arm on the table. This was more or less my second home. I felt comfortable here now, but I came for answers more than anything else.

"Want something to drink?"

"No I'm okay, thanks," I answered.

She nodded and poured herself a glass of water before turning back and sitting at the table opposite me. It gave me a good chance to watch her and how much she'd changed. She appeared more glum and worn out. Stress was definitely an understatement. She watched me silently for a few minutes with tired eyes before opening her mouth to speak.

"I've been very worried lately," she began quietly. "I've tried everything but you're the last person I can turn to now."

I nodded slowly. "Okay."

"I'm sure you've noticed Kayden's absence."

I nodded once more. "Yeah. That’s why I came actually."

"When was the last time you saw him?"

I thought back to when he said goodbye to me in the car before leaving for good. I scratched my head. "Roughly a week before Christmas." That was almost 4 months ago now.

"Oh dear lord." She rubbed her face and sighed deeply. I frowned. I hated to see her like this. All that Sha'riah has gone through so far with her sister Tanisha and God knows what else was beginning to take its toll on her. I was starting to empathise with her; she didn't deserve all of this stress and worry.

"I was wondering if you knew where he was, that's why I came here," I muttered.

She held her face in her hands and slowly shook her head. "No. I have no idea where he is. I was hoping you'd know. It's been ages; I'm beginning to think the worst. I just want my son back," she croaked. Her voice was muffled as she spoke into her hands.

I rested my hand on her shoulder and rubbed it gently. "I'm really sorry, Sha'riah, I wish I knew. I'm as worried as you are."

She uncovered her face and looked at me, only then did I see the tears as they escaped her eyes and gradually rolled down her cheeks.

"I don't know what else to do. I don't want to have the police search for my son. This isn't the first time he's been gone for so long."

I raised a brow. "What do you mean, what happened?"

She cleared her throat and allowed the tears to continue falling. "He was around 14 or 15 when it first happened. He was always so rebellious whenever he was around his friends. He never used to listen to me, he was actually quite uncontrollable as a child, and he was hard work. If I didn't have Marcus' support I don't know what I would've done. He decided he was big enough to survive on his own at the time and tried to prove a point by running away and staying at a friend's without letting me know. He was gone for weeks; I had to call a search out.

"Luckily he was found outside of London near an old warehouse with a few other people. He got into so much trouble that day. I don't want a repeat of this, everything's been going so well with him and now he's putting me through this hell again. I don't want to have to deal with this right now; I've got so much on my plate already. I just want him home." She looked out the window and released a deep breath, then fell into a daydream.

It made me think about where he could possibly be. I never knew the history of Kayden when he was a child. I thought Kieran was bad; at the age of 16 the prick was arrested for stealing, but this is big news since it was Kayden. I always thought he was the perfect child. I've never been so wrong before.

"He could be there right now, near the warehouse," I muttered with little hope in my voice.

"We already checked, he's not there," she replied sullenly.

"Oh."

She smiled at me weakly. "You're a good girl, Rebecca. I'm glad to know that you care for my son so much."

She had no idea how much I cared.

"He's a good friend; I just want him to be okay," I murmured truthfully.

She nodded and dried her eyes. Seeing Kayden's mum like this angered me. She was such an amazing woman; she shouldn't have to go through this. It was evident that she and Marcus were good parents. Kayden had no idea how much his mum valued his life. I'd give anything to be able to see my mum again—at least once—and here he was causing his mum grief. He took advantage of her trust.

I don't care whatever reason he was gone for, I just didn't like to see his family torn apart. It seems like he's caused so much trouble already, it wasn't fair on his mum. I rubbed her arm and tried my best to comfort her as she continued to cry in dread and worry.

Dammit Kayden. Just come home...

Kayden

It's been a while since I've seen civilisation. Being locked in this house with no motive was like hell for me. There was nothing I could do though; I knew feds were still on my case. It's been ages, but I had a gut feeling that they weren’t going to give up any time soon.

I missed everyone: mum and Ree especially. I wasn't used to being away from her for so long. We had something so special, but this spoiled everything. Even so, I didn't regret what I did to that prick, and I never will. He deserved what he got, and I weren't going down for something that I had to do in order to protect the one I love.

I lay there and wondered what she was actually doing at this current moment, and if she was thinking about me. Probably not, knowing her she'd be pissed off, not wanting to see me again. If that was the case then I deserved it. It's been so long since I've smelt her perfume, or felt her soft lips, or held her body close to mine. I just missed her.

These withdrawal symptoms were serious.

I was close to calling her a week ago, just to hear her voice once. Just once. I knew it would be too risky though, so I thought better of it and left my phone where it was and always has been: on the side table.

Chris was doing well I suppose, considering that fact that he's mostly worried about the consequences of what could happen. He tries his best to keep in contact with me to ensure that I was still in the same spot. I had no choice though.

I stared up at the ceiling and counted the usual cracks that I could see. My own personal game: Spot the Cracks. Had nothing better to do, this was more or less my life now. Silence surrounded me as I lay with my eyes sharp and ready, just in case anything were to go down. I was always alert; ever since I ended up here I’ve been ready and prepared, just in case things got ugly. I breathed deeply and rested my hands behind my head.

Sixteen cracks.

My ears suddenly perked up and I heard the cries and moans from next door as Omar continued to fuck his bitch. She's been here for time, and had no idea that Omar had company. I kissed my teeth and continued staring at the ceiling, but this girl's moans were growing louder. Omar would always bring different girls round and have meaningless sex. I can't even rate him for it. STI's are more common now, fuck that.

I remember the days when I would bring a girl back home almost every day after college, then just fuck them and walk them to the bus stop afterwards. It never used to mean anything to me, I actually didn't care. That was before I met Ree anyway, I could never be unfaithful to her. Since I've known her I've had so many chances to fuck another girl, but I never did. I must be whipped or just have so much love for her that I barely even looked at another girl.

The girl continued to moan. I heard was the consistent creaking of Omar's bed and scowled. Can't lie and say I didn't envy him right now. A man has his needs and I was definitely in need, but I reckon I can hold out for much longer.

After a while the moaning stopped, and footsteps were heard as they got closer to the other side of my door. It opened swiftly and Omar was stood there in his boxers. I glanced at him and gave him a brief nod.

"Wagwaan," he said leaning against the door frame.

"Nothin’."

"Every time I come in here I see you looking like death."

I grunted. "Just bored man."

"Can play my Xbox," He offered.

"Yeah bring it 'ere."

"Aight." He left and closed the door behind him. I continued to lay there patiently. Anything’s better than counting cracks, I thought.

Hours passed. Omar had dropped his bitch home, but he was back discussing “important business” on the phone. I sat there playing Fifa; it was 5-0 and I was killing 'em, but there was only so much game-play I could take. Soon I'd be bored again and would have nothing to do.

I heard the soft engine of a car suddenly come to a halt outside. I froze and immediately paused the game, then stood by the window and parted the blinds to see wagwaan. A police car was parked near the curb. I watched it closely to see two feds step out and make their way to the front door.

"Fuck," I muttered. I switched off the TV and went near to the door to warn Omar, but it was too late. I heard as the front door was roughly kicked down, creating a loud thud and causing the floorboards to shake. I stayed near the closed door and heard shouting straight away. I listened as Omar began to yell and lose control.

"Calm down sir," I heard one fed say.

"What do you mean calm down? You kicked down my fucking door!"

"All for a good cause. Check upstairs."

Omar continued to yell and curse, but the footsteps ascending the stairs had caught my attention. I stayed still and thought to hide in the wardrobe, but what good would that do? He'd simply find me and I'd be fucked. I looked towards the window; that would be no use either since I'd fucking die if I left from such high ground.

Only one thing left to do.

After a few clattering noises the door was opened. I remained perfectly still on the other side as the officer entered the room. Tall white man with a few muscles, no real threat. I could easily deal with that. He held his gun steady and proceeded to look around the room.

"Anything yet?" the other officer called from downstairs.

"No, not yet," he replied.

He went towards the bed and looked down at my phone. He picked it up and began going through it, then stuffed it in his front pocket and continued searching. Probably planning to keep it for evidence, but I couldn't allow that. He swiftly opened the wardrobe and moved the clothes around then grunted angrily to himself before scoping again.

"I know you're in here, nigger," he snarled quietly as he walked backwards to look at the chair.  

When he got close enough to the door again I clamped my hand over his mouth forcedly from behind and held his neck. He began to scramble and struggle to break free of my hold, but it only made me press down on his mouth harder. His eyes displayed fear as he looked at me. I didn't even say anything. I just wanted him dealt with. I then rapidly snapped his neck and heard his bone crack. He became lifeless in my hands and his heart rate slowed. I laid him down on the floor and watched as he remained completely still. I breathed deeply at the unconscious body before me, then crouched down beside him and retrieved my phone from his front pocket. The shouting continued downstairs as Omar argued with the other officer. It wouldn't be long before he came upstairs to see his partner. His radio vibrated and a distinct voice was heard.

"PC Robinson, come in 10-40."

I quickly picked up the radio. "Attention, 10-18, suspect has relocated and is now heading towards eastern Slough," I replied. There was a brief silence.

"10-4, we're on it," I heard.

I placed the radio back and stuffed my phone in my pocket before hastily leaving the room. I had no actual thoughts; I just knew I had to get the fuck outta here. I ran to the bathroom and forced the window open. Quickest exit and the only window big enough to fit through. The shouting advanced from downstairs but I couldn't give two shits right now. Every man for himself. I quickly pushed my way through the window and skilfully found my way to the ground without falling. Once I clambered down I realised I was at the side of the house, and could hear the commotion still going on inside. I got my phone out and quickly called Chris.

 Chris: "Yeah?"

Me: "Feds came, I'm coming round yours." He was silent.

Chris: "Shit, what if they follow you?"

Me: "They won't." He began to whine.

Chris: "I can't deal with this man, I'm only young. I can't take this anymore! You're gonna come and they're gonna follow, then I'll get caught too! Fam I keep telling you I can't last in pen. I can't fucking drop the soap man-..."

Me: "Shut the fuck up Chris," I kissed my teeth. "I know what I'm doing. Just leave the door open, I'll be 5 minutes." He sighed.

Chris: "Okay."

I locked off and did the only thing I could do at this point. I ran.

Even though I've managed to mislead the police into thinking I've gone somewhere else, I knew it was only a matter of time before they were hot on my trail again. I continued to speed down the pavement as I pushed past people on the street. My thoughts were clouded with rage and my heart thumped excessively. I didn't know exactly how this would pan out, but I had to stay focused if I didn't want to get caught.

Things have just got a whole lot worse.