Chapter thirty-one

Becca

Shit.

Rebecca...are you dead?

But you can't be...you're just talking to yourself.

This can't be right. Just open your eyes.

It shouldn't be that hard, you're alive. Open one eye at a time...you'll see.

Damn, I must be dead: can't even wake up.

I was left in a confused state as blackness continued to surround me, literally; I couldn't see a damn thing.

Huh. Maybe I am dead.

What the hell is happening to me?

"Rebecca..."

Wait...

"Miss Stellon, can you hear me?"

Just nod...nod and let her know that you're alive.

My body was lifeless and limp. I tried to move at least an inch, but for the life of me I couldn't. It was too much effort.

"Move your finger if you can hear me, Rebecca."

As soon as that registered in my brain I gave every ounce of energy I had to wriggle my index finger.

"She's registered. She's conscious..."

The sound of beeping and clicking of pens and other equipment was heard. Suddenly I managed to gain the strength to open both of my eyes. My vision remained blurry as I scoped the room I was in.

Hospital?

The pale white walls enclosed me along with the cream curtains. Beside me was a bunch of flowers and a few Get Well Soon cards with my name on them. I tried my best to sit upright but I just couldn't, it felt as if my whole body was too unstable to be able to move. I felt a light hand touch my shoulder.

"No Rebecca, you must stay down for a while. You don't want to get a head rush, do you?"

My head throbbed violently as I tried to recollect what happened. I was at work. I remember speaking to Nathan and walking around for a bit then...the rest is a blur.

"What...happened?" I croaked through a dry throat.

"You have suffered serious head trauma."

"What? H-How?"

"I won't worry you with the details now, Miss Stellon. Just stay there, I will be right back." She gave a genuine smile before placing her clipboard down on the table next to the hospital bed, then leaving.

Fuck this, I'm sitting up.

I used my arms to steady my body as I hoisted myself upwards. As much as it pained almost every joint in my body, I managed to rest my back against the overly large pillow before looking around. There were other patients, probably with the same condition as me... Head trauma, the hell? 

The atmosphere was incredibly quiet apart from the odd cough and wheeze from other patients. Definitely not my scene. I seriously didn't understand why I was here. None of this made sense at all.

After a while I was checked and examined by a few doctors, who claimed it was remarkable that I had recovered so quickly. I remained quiet and thought about escaping this shit-hole.

"Would you like some water, Miss Stellon?"

"No. What I'd like is some answers," I replied blankly. The doctor frowned slightly and straightened out the quilt before fiddling with her strands of hair. 

"All too much for you to bear," she repressed.

I raised a brow but felt the sudden migraine form. I groaned and clutched my head as the stabbing pain continued and worsened in a matter of seconds. She noticed my change of emotion and sprang forward to my aid.

"Relax. Rest your back; you need to stay still, Rebecca." I sighed and lay back further down on the pillow. "I'll go and get your tablets, they should help." I looked up at the ceiling and closed my eyes, her footsteps slowly drifted away as she left the room once again.

I feel insignificant right now. This isn't me. I can't even remember the last time I was in hospital, I need to be independent once again. Been conscious for an hour and already I couldn't stand this. My forehead continued to throb, I rubbed my temple and tried my best to ignore the pain, but nothing was working.

If only he was here, I'd feel a lot better.

As much as I hate to admit it, I missed him. Badly. The thing is I didn't want to, but I couldn't control my emotions or the way I felt. I still feel him sometimes; his soft lips gently kissing each part of my face and neck and his big slender hands caressing my skin as he stared me in the eyes, showing that infamous dimple that never ceased to amaze me. I wanted him here with me, to help me understand and pull through. I didn't know why I was here.

I need answers.

"Rebecca..."  My eyes opened quickly at the sound of his voice. He was stood there watching down on me with worried eyes and a blank, sinister face. I wasn't used to seeing him this way; his soft face plastered in a stone-cold way, his eyebrows furrowed and rigid, along with his jawbone. I felt almost relieved to see him here. It's been so long.

"Tyreece?" I muttered in bewilderment. He grunted before pulling the chair forward and taking a seat close to me.

"How you feeling?" he asked quietly.

"Confused, depressed..." Lonely. "How did you know I was here?"

"It's been two weeks, everyone knows you're here."

My eyes widened in shock. Two weeks? The doctor couldn't even tell me I've spent two fucking weeks in this dump unconscious?! I shook my head in disbelief. None of this seemed right at all.

"Why am I here, Ty? What happened to me?"

He glanced downwards at the floor and breathed heavily before looking straight in my eyes. His jaw clenched. "There was a shooting incident," he said quietly. "Someone fired three gunshots into Footlocker. Not sure why, but you were almost hit, till you was barged out the way by a worker. You hit your head on the shelf and were knocked out unconscious." 

I zoned out for a few seconds, wondering who would do such a thing. Shock clouded over me, as well as anger and confusion. Why is this happening? I stared ahead and tried to remember the events that took place, but it seemed like everything was erased. I didn't even know what to think or feel anymore. I felt...blank...empty.

"What about the shooters?" I asked after a moment of silence. I could feel the negative energy arising from Tyreece as soon as I asked.

"The pricks escaped before the police arrived."

"Was anyone else hurt?" 

He slowly shook his head. "Footlocker's damaged though, been closed down for a week."

My chest felt numb, I found it hard to come to terms with this information.

"Fuck," I muttered. I turned towards all of the cards and flowers rested neatly on the side.

"Everyone's worried about you, especially me. I've been here every day waiting for you to wake back up." He had calmed down now, and went back to speaking in the sweet soft voice he always carried. I turned to him and realised he was watching me closely.

"That's sweet, Ty. Thanks."

"I couldn't help myself. I rushed over here as soon as I heard. Everyone was already here to see you, but you were lifeless."

I scratched my head. "Where exactly am I?"

"KingsCollege."

I nodded once more. "I don't wanna stay here. I wanna leave," I muttered, feeling mildly dizzy. He held my hand gently in his and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"You'll be out soon; you just need to rest for abit."

I sighed then saw the doctor come back into the room with a cup of water in one hand and two tablets in the other. She nodded politely at Tyreece before placing both the tablets and the cup into my hands. 

"Take these and you will feel a lot better."

I nodded and backed them both with the water. Ty watched me in silence; I wanted to know what was running through his mind; he didn't appear to be Shy Ty right now, he was completely different. I glanced at him and his eyes never shifted once. I rested my head in my hands and felt distraught about the whole situation. I just wanted to go home. I stared down at my wrist and noticed my favourite bracelet was no longer there. Must’ve fallen off during the whole shooting fiasco. Of all jewellery to go missing, it had to be the one my mum had bought me before she passed.

"What is it?" Ty asked softly.

"My bracelet...I think it fell off at work or something. I won't be getting that back now." I chuckled lightly in sorrow.

Things were just getting worse by the minute. He remained silent with a clenched jaw. I turned to look out of the window to see the sun shining through. The view was nice from where I was sat, but I wanted to be out there enjoying my life, not here. I've cheated death; I should be partying and livin' it up. I was lucky to still be alive. 

"I don't wanna stay here," I muttered truthfully.

"I know you don't, but I'll be right here with you. You'll be out of here soon, just relax."

I obeyed and rested back on the pillow again. Now I understood why this migraine was so powerful, it hurt like a bitch. I closed my eyes and began to wonder. I wanted to know where he was, what he's doing, if he's safe, and why he hasn't even had the decency to call me. For some reason I wasn't even angry at him, I just wanted him to be safe, then I'd feel a lot better myself. I felt his hand stroke my hair, it was very soothing.

"Try and get some sleep," he whispered gently.

I sighed and tried my best to relax my mind and thoughts. There was something clouding my trail of thought and it just wouldn't go away. It seemed as if there was a warning symbol right in my mind, of him. I knew that him being gone for so long was to do with something negative, and I knew that no good was going to come of it. But what could I do? I was stuck on this hospital bed. I inhaled a deep breath and felt the migraine slowly slipping away. All I really needed right now was Tyreece. He made me feel a lot better, since he wasn't around.

Kayden

I stared at the ceiling with a clouded mind. All I could think about was Ree, and how long it's been. I just wanted to be next to her right now, that's all I've wanted these past couple months. That last kiss we shared meant more to me than anything. I could still imagine the feel and taste of her plump lips. That night when I left I didn't want to depart from her, but I had no choice. I was doing this for her sake as well as mine.

I could picture her now. Probably lost and confused as to why I wasn't around, and why I haven't contacted her. It would have been our first Christmas and first Valentine's Day together, but I fucked up, and now we were both facing the consequences. I had a bad feeling; my sixth sense was acting up. I knew something bad had happened to her, but I don't know what.

I breathed deeply and clenched my jaw. Life wasn't the same without her. These withdrawal symptoms were serious. I looked at my phone on the bedside table. I could pick it up and call her right now if I wanted; all I had to do was put in my usual sim card and call her. I’d hear her voice again, but it would be too risky. I can't chance anything right now, I have to remain hidden. Feds have been trying their best to get to me, but I was always one step ahead. My dad always did say I was some sort of criminal mastermind.

That's another thing: my family. I know my mum was worried sick herself, with her son been gone without a trace and all that. It's not like I haven't got a good reason. I know dad was probably vex, I would know what to expect from him when I get back home. 

If I ever do get back home.

I rested my hands behind my head and continued to wonder. Most nights I thought of her. Sometimes I question myself as to how I could ever get so worked up on a girl, but I could never find an answer. Instead I found myself stuck in a loop, wondering what she was currently doing up to. I didn't know whether she was pissed at me, or just upset at the fact that I was gone.

I closed my eyes and could envision her right next to me; her body pressed against mine, her sweet breath on my skin, and her warm hands on my chest. I'd give anything just to be able to feel those lips on mine, just one more time. With our kiss deepening I'd caress her body slowly, focusing on her breasts, ass and legs...

I opened my eyes and sat up after grunting loudly. I slid off the narrow bed and walked towards the window that was concealed by the closed blinds. I used my index finger and thumb to separate part of the blinds and view outside. The streets were clear and barely anyone suspicious was in sight. I continued to watch outside silently. I needed some fresh air, staying in the house for so long was beginning to make me feel closed in. Being stuck in the same environment all the time was unbearable. The sound of the door opening caused me to swiftly turn my head. Omar stood there scratching his head, wearing nothing but a vest and an Adidas tracksuit.

"You're up," he mumbled.

"Yeah. What time is it?"

"Around 11:30. Gotta get ready for work." I nodded and he yawned. "You stayin' in today?"

"Do I have a choice?"

He laughed. "True say." Then he left, closing the door behind him. 

Omar was a lifesaver; an old friend who owed me a favour since I hid some of his crow in my yard over a long period of time. Big 27 year old man, always got a next girl round to fuck, working part-time in construction...still got the money rolling in from all kinds of people. His life was saying a lot, wish I could say the same. How I ended up in this position was beyond me, but it was too late to turn back now, I had duties to fulfil and lives to protect.

Half an hour passed and I was reading The Sun newspaper. Lately I've been scanning through different article's to check if something involving me was inside. All I was waiting for was the sign letting me know that they would cease searching, but it hasn't happened yet. I got to the 16th page and came across something.

Police are still searching for the pair of delinquent run-away’s who are said to have murdered teenager, Leon Richards, on December 16th 2010. The two male culprits, whose names still remain unknown, have been missing for the past 3 months since December 19th 2010. Leon's parents Phillip and Jane Richards were interviewed recently on the matter. "The death of our son has hit us hard; sometimes we still sense Leon's presence with us. It's just devastating to know that he was taken from us so soon. Maybe once those thugs have been caught then justice will finally be served," Jane Richards claimed to our interviewers.

I threw the newspaper down on the floor and picked up my phone. Only people who I had on this sim card were Omar and Chris. I called Chris and waited patiently for him to answer.

Chris: "Tempz."

Me: "Yeah, where you at?"

Chris: "Same spot. We still in the news?"

Me: "Yeah man." 

Chris: "Fuck, these man aren't giving up are they?"

Me: "Nah. We're young and black, they're gonna want to catch us." He began to whimper.

Chris: "Have you seen me though? I can't defend myself in pen, and you know them man in there like pretty boys, ones who can't stick up for themselves. They'd come after me straight. Fam, this is why I'd rather buy shower gel! Imagine me dropping the soap man, I'd get rammed differently! I can't take that shit-..."

Me: "Shut the fuck up Chris." He breathed deeply and tried to compose himself. "You're acting like they're gonna find us."

Chris: "What if they do? I'm goin' mad here man, been three fucking months! I can't do this anymore."

Me: "You're gonna have to." He sighed heavily. Every day he does this, it was getting old now. "Stay out of sight and there won't be a problem."

Chris: "Yeah...you're right."

Me: "Mm, I'll bell you later."

Chris: "Ite cool."

I locked off and shook my head. He was a confused individual. I looked at the time and stood up. Now would be the right time to freshen up. I grabbed the spare towel and went in the bathroom. After staying in the shower for a good 20 minutes I left the bathroom and headed back to the spare room. I creamed and changed into fresh clothes then lay back in the same position I was in before.

I rested my head on the pillow and closed my eyes. All I could see was Ree sat down, gaping into the mirror; her face drained of all happiness and her body slumped in a lazy manner. She watched her reflection in silence without moving a muscle. That sixth sense was back. Every day I could picture her doing something unusual, and this time all she did was stare in the mirror without saying a word. I opened my eyes and continued to lay there in silence.

All I can do is lie in this tiny room and...think.

Becca

It's been a week since I was discharged from the hospital and all I've done is stay in my room. Right now I was perched on my favourite stool gazing into the mirror that was placed on my dressing table. Seriously, I had nothing better to do, and after knowing what happened to me a few weeks back I didn't even feel comfortable leaving the house. Ever since he left I haven't done anything constructive with my life. No TV, no laptop, no nothing. Can't even remember the last time I troubled Andre's life. I couldn't be bothered. Even Kieran's life was looking up. He had gotten a job in construction, now all of a sudden he thinks he's superman.

Dad and Uncle Clayton were now over-protective of me since I was discharged. For me to even go to the shop was a health hazard. Usually I just snuck out whenever they were occupied. I never thought it would be possible for me and Tyreece to become even closer, but it was happening. He's been there for me ever since I woke up in the hospital. Truthfully I didn't see anything wrong with spending a lot of time with him. He was just a good friend who vowed to take care of me. Although sometimes there would be some awkward moments where we would just stare at each other, nothing ever happened.

The room was filled with silence. I felt lost without him here. There wasn't even a word for the way I missed him. I was finding it hard to come to the terms with the fact that he might not return. To just leave me in this state was unbearable. The doorbell sounded. I heard Diamond's little footsteps descend the stairs to answer. I stayed completely still with my elbows rested on the dressing table. I laid my head down shortly after and closed my eyes. The migraine was beginning to appear again, I just had to try my best to ignore it. All I could think of was him. I wanted him here with me. It then occurred to me what he actually meant that time when we were in his room.

"Question. What do you do when the person you care about so much moves far away?"

"Depends. Do you mean to another country?" 

"Nah. Different area, like Wembley." 

"That's not far away. I thought you meant Sussex or something." 

"Wembley is far to me. I don't like that area." 

"Wembley's a nice area, what you talking about?"

"Forget it."

I shrugged. "It's forgotten."

Now I could finally answer that question. Nothing could be done if someone you care about moves away. Depends on the distance, but in my case there was no hope. As long as contact was held, then the situation wasn't deemed bad.

It was weird that I could almost feel his warm breath on the nape of my neck; his strong arms encircling me from behind and holding me tighter against his firm chest. I could almost feel his soft lips kissing my cheek, gradually shifting downwards to my neck and tickling the heated skin. His hands roamed my entire body, firmly gripping my thigh and spreading my legs apart. His other hand gently clasped my chin to drag my face upwards, granting him access to my neck.

The hand gripping my leg ghosted my thigh and rose to cup my breast. He lightly bit my earlobe as he kept hold of my chin. My breathing became shallow at the feel of his wondrous hands smoothing over my skin. I stiffened as one hand slid underneath my top to rub my stomach softly. He whispered sweet nothings in my ear as he pressed his body against mine. My breath hitched when I felt his excitement.

His teeth sank into my flesh as he fumbled with the zip of my jeans, and then his warm hand eventually found its way in my underwear. He grunted softly against my skin and gently cupped me in his palm. My chest constricted and I struggled to breathe through a dry throat.

"Kayden..." I panted as he circled my clit deliciously slow. I chewed on my lip and squeezed my eyes shut.

"I want you. Right now," he growled breathlessly in my ear.

I moaned quietly and reached backwards to hold him. I needed to feel his body, to be able to stay rooted to the earth. The pleasurable sensation would leave me floating if I didn’t hang on. My legs were weakening and giving way beneath me.

Suddenly he stopped and scooped his right arm under both my legs to lift me up. He carried me to the bed and laid me down. I swallowed hard as he separated my legs and slid between. I had nothing to say, I was just glad to be this close to him again. He proceeded to kiss my neck and trace his fingers along my inner thigh. The area between my legs began to throb excessively. Heat and passion thickened the air as he languidly licked my collarbone. I held him tighter as I chanted his name.

"I wanna feel you," he rasped quietly.

I gulped and began to take shallow breaths to steady myself. Our lips connected again, but this time with more need and affection. His fingers tugged at my already unfastened jeans, and then he yanked down his own.

"Not so fast," I warned. I wanted to savour this moment.

"I can’t wait anymore," he muttered, flinging my bra somewhere.

Soon we were naked, hot and sweaty. There was no going back. His almond eyes stared into mine with ardour. I shivered as he stroked my face then leaned closer to kiss my lips once more. He angled himself properly and I felt him thrust against me to gain access.

"What about preparation-..." I was stopped by his lips brushing against mine.

"There’s no time for that. I need to be inside," he grunted in desperation.

I swallowed hard at the yearning in those brown eyes and nodded my confirmation. The hunger in his gaze was overwhelming, to know that he craved me so much that his emotions were conflicted. The thought made me smile.

"Do it...please," I said quietly.

A low grunt emitted his throat as he dipped his head to kiss my lips once more. I felt his length press against me to ready himself.

"I love you," he whispered in low tones. Then he thrust inside, and our bodies finally connected...

"Becc's..."

My body rocked slowly. "Mmm..."

"Rebecca, wake up."

My eyes shot open and suddenly I was back on the stool again. My head snapped to the direction of the bed which was made up, just as I had left it. I breathed heavily and waited for my heart to calm down. Needless to say, I felt excited.

I turned back to see a confused expression on Tyreece's face. I cleared my throat and sat upright then rubbed my bleary eyes.

He chuckled lightly. "You alright?"

I nodded slowly and sighed, dismissing the fantasy. "I'm fine."

"Your eyes are red."

I looked at the mirror to view my eyes. He was right; they were drained and stressed, just like I was.

"They'll be okay," I muttered giving them another rub.

Disappointment washed over me as I realised that he actually wasn't here; still in an unknown area. I exhaled deeply before stretching. I finally turned back towards Ty who was watching me the entire time. 

"What you doing here anyway?" I asked.

"Came to see you, check if you're alright." He gave a genuine smile; I returned the smile and stood up from the stool.

"Aww, thanks dude." I gave him a brief hug. He chuckled and held me. He always smelt nice and masculine. I've managed to hold three of his hoodies hostage so far; they were the best.

"I brought you something," he said softly in my ear. I left his embrace and gaped at him.

"Really?"

He nodded and held up a black plastic bag. "It's a present."

My lips broke out into a little smile. "Aww Ty...what is it?"

He gently held my hand and led me over to my bed. I sat down and he sat beside me.

"You want it?" I nodded eagerly. "You have to close your eyes." I obeyed immediately and shut my eyes.

I heard the rustling of the bag and kept perfectly still, I honestly didn't know what to expect. It wasn't like Ty to be bearing gifts like this. I heard the clicking of a box, then felt cold material around my wrist. My eyebrow arched as I tried to figure out what it was. He clipped the material into place.

"Open your eyes."

My eyes snapped open and I smiled at the sight of the bracelet that I had lost at work on the day of the incident. It appeared fresh and new, I thought I'd never see it again. I flashed a fat grin of gratitude. I remained frozen staring at the bracelet. Without it around my wrist it felt as if I had lost a part of my mum, something I thought I could never get back, and now here it was.

"How did you find it?" I asked in bewilderment.

"Don't worry about that, just know I'm always gonna look out for you. Whatever problem you have, I'm willing to solve it. Got it polished for you aswell," he mentioned.

I yelped in delight and held him tight, squeezing him as I did so. He laughed at the excitement I displayed and returned the hug.

"Thank you so much Ty," I whispered.

"It's fine."

I squeezed him again and he lost balance, causing him to fall backwards with me on top of him. I stared into his eyes and he did the same. Silence washed over us quickly as we watched one another, waiting to make the next move. My eyes traced over his plump lips and cute button nose. I noticed his eyes were fixated on my lips. Just like that, we were both in a trance. Our heads began to draw closer simultaneously, so close that I could feel the warm air as he breathed heavily through his nostrils. Any closer and we'd be kissing. I was so tempted to lean in and claim those cushioned lips...

"Oooo la laaa!" The sound of Diamond’s voice caused me to spring up back up subconsciously. I quickly climbed off of Tyreece and turned to her.

"Leave, Diamond" I demanded with a screw.

"Rebecca and Ty-Ty sittin’ in a tree, doing what they shouldn't be-..."

I stood up and she hurriedly left the room, shutting the door behind her. I sighed and Ty laughed to himself. She was the like the little annoying sister I never had. I glanced at him and our eyes met. Then it turned awkward, until he laughed again.

I raised a brow. "What's funny?"

"She's cute."

"She needs to move back to her island."

He chuckled and I sighed in relief; relieved that nothing happened. Secretly I was thanking Diamond for interrupting in the way that she did, I would have regretted that kiss. I looked at him and noticed the new hoody he was sporting. It would soon be mine. Even as I watched the hoody I couldn't help but admire his bodily structure, his muscles showed through the clothing. Even when we hugged I could feel his sinuous body crush mine. Athletics was doing him some good; his body was that of a God.

"Valentine’s day is coming up," I heard him announce.

I snapped out of my reverie. "Your point is?"

He smiled. "You got a valentine?"

I shrugged. "Well, not really... Do you?"

"Nah. Last year I had Olivia, now that's over so..." He shrugged. I cooed, he was still so cute, bless him.

"Bless," I chimed, voicing my thoughts.

"Mm. We're both valentine-less," he said with a chuckle. If you saw how straight my face was.

"Fool." He screwed and I laughed loudly. He used the pillow to whack me over the head. I screwed him, which made him laugh even more.

"Don't get rude, Becc's."

I kissed my teeth. He was lucky that he managed to get my bracelet back. I simply kicked him in the shin but it barely affected him, so I slapped his firm chest instead. He laughed at my attempt to hurt him and grabbed onto my wrists when I tried again.

"Don't try it Rebecca," he warned with a wry smile. I struggled to break free of his grip.

"Get off!"

"Technically I'm not on you."

"Let go then!"

"Are you gonna hit me?"

I pouted. "No."

He smiled. "Promise?"

"Yes man!"

"Promise me then."

"Alright you dyke, I promise!"

He released my wrists instantly. I noticed they now had red rings around them from that strong grip. I frowned at the sight.

"Look what you done," I sulked. He laughed at my bitchin'. "No, it isn't funny, dipshit."

"So you're getting rude again?"

I kissed my teeth and turned away. He chuckled and I rubbed my throbbing wrist. Who knew a little bit of a play-fighting could hurt me. ME?

It was silent for a while as I sat there quietly thinking to myself. I almost forgot he was there but his voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Becc's..."

"What?"

He moved closer to look at me. "What's wrong?"

"You hurt me. Prick."

"Awww."

I kissed my teeth. "Go jump off a cliff."

He laughed quietly. "I'm sorry. I was only playing. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Whatever dude."

His face softened. "Want me to kiss it better for you?"

I rolled my eyes. "Am I five?"

"Mm, you gave me a massage last time, now I owe you a favour."

"Don't touch me," I warned.

He held my hand regardless and brought it closer to his lips. "I'm sorry," he said again.

He gently began to kiss my wrist all the way around. I watched him in awe. For some reason I had fallen back into that odd trance. His lips were so soft against my skin, I almost felt as if my own lips were missing out. He then began to kiss slowly up my arm, until he reached my shoulder, then looked me in the eye and smiled. 

"Better now?" he asked in a hoarse whisper. I slowly shook my head. "What can I do to make you feel better?"

Kiss me...

"Ice would be nice," I murmured.

He smiled. "Alright, I'll get you some." He then got up off the bed and went to the door.

"Ty..." He turned back. "Your hoody would be nice too." He rolled his eyes and dragged the Nike hoody over his head, then threw it to me. I caught it and grinned at him. He laughed and turned back to head downstairs. Couldn't help but watch his muscular back as he left.

February 14th: the worst day I've ever had to endure. From the time I woke up to the time I left college there were hearts and the word “Love” in my face. It was as if God was trying to rub it in. Yeah, I'm lonely, I get it. Everyone had someone to be theirs, except me. I wasn't the slightest bit angry for once...I was more hurt and depressed if anything.

I think I had finally passed that stage where I would wonder where he was. By now I had just given up hope. There was no point even trying to justify his whereabouts. No point even saying he was mine if he was nowhere near me. I didn't know how much more of this I could take; it was unbearable to not have him here. Christmas, New Years and Valentine's Day, all spent alone. I felt like a widow, it wasn't even healthy.

I sighed as we left 6th form. Even the girls in year ten had boys by their side, it was ridiculous. Seventeen years old and I had no-one to share this day with. I sighed and watched my feet walk along the pavement, not taking any interest in the conversation going on between Natalie, Grace and Brooklyn. I felt lost and empty again, it was the worst feeling to have at a time like this, especially knowing that you were so alone. Three months without him close to me, I was eventually going to lose my mind. It was sad aswell...never knew I'd depend on a boy so much before, that wasn't like me at all. I've always been independent ever since I could walk. I even used to attempt to dress myself every morning for nursery—straight bad-manism. I just couldn't understand why I was hurting so much, now of all times.

"Becca..." I brought my head up to be greeted by the three of them, all watching me suspiciously.

"What?" I answered casually.

"You alright?" Natalie asked.

I cocked an eyebrow upwards. "Course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I was talking to you this whole time."

"I know, I just decided not to listen," I shrugged. Grace frowned at my reply.

"Too damn rude, you bess be careful before I tell your uncle," Nat remarked. I rolled my eyes at the threat.

"It's such a piss take the way Charles won't even tell me what my Valentine's day gift is." Brooks kissed her teeth.

"Probably sex," Natalie muttered.

"That wouldn't be much of a gift, we do it anyway."

"Outdoor sex then." They all laughed but I continued to walk in silence.

"Grace, what d'you think Chris got you?"

She shrugged. Now that he was back again, I was beginning to think she liked him less and less. "Probably a card and that's it."

Natalie laughed. "Chris is cheap but he ain't that cheap."

"Alie, he probably got you some jewellery on the side," Brooklyn agreed.

"I doubt it," she mumbled. 

They continued to chat shit as I walked with my hands in the pockets of my jeans. I honestly didn't have time to hear this conversation any longer. As we passed the bus stop I came to a halt. They all looked back at me.

"Gonna take the shortcut," I explained before they got the chance to ask. Brooks and Nat both nodded and gave me a brief hug, but Grace stayed still also.

"I'll go with you," she offered. I nodded and we soon departed from the other two. 

Grace and I walked down the road in silence. I couldn't be bothered to break it, just wanted to get home and stay in bed until the day was over. I'd prefer that then wallow in self pity with my friends. They'd all have something to look forward to tonight anyway; I wasn't going to get in the way of that. Just because my day is fucked doesn't mean theirs must be aswell.

"It's Kayden, isn't it?" I heard Grace ask softly.

I slowly looked at her then gradually turned away again. Just hearing his name made my heart ulcer. I couldn't bear to hear it: made me feel even weaker. He was such a prick.

But he was my prick...

I sucked in a deep breath before coming to my conclusion. "No."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not stupid, Becc's. You've been quiet all day."

"Doesn't mean anything."

"What do you take me for?" I opened my mouth. "Don't answer that," she warned. I smiled slightly to myself. How she knew I was gonna say the word “prick” is beyond me.

"Okay," I muttered.

She sighed deeply. "I know how much you care about him, and I know how deep your relationship is. Why wouldn't you be upset about him?"

"He's a dyke."

"No he's not, and you don't mean that."

I growled. The way Grace knew me far too well for her own good was killing me. "Whatever dude."

"No, don't excuse it. All you have to do is talk to me, cos I'm the only other person who knows exactly how you feel."

I stared ahead and grunted, emotionless. "Mm."

"When Chris left I couldn't stop thinking about him; wondering whether he'd come back or not, what he was up to, how he was doing. I found it hard to concentrate on other things. It was unbearable the way he was gone for so long. So I know exactly how you feel."

I nodded slowly with a huff. "Yeah."

We eventually came to my door. I fished my keys out of my pocket and opened my gate.

"I'll call you later on," she said.

"If you're not too busy with Chris," I answered.

"Doubt it, probably gone missing again." I chuckled lightly and she hugged me then carried on her journey after saying bye.

I entered the house and was greeted by the usual loud noises Uncle Clayton and dad made as they both played dominos. I pulled off my jacket and left it on the banister before heading upstairs, passing Kieran along the way. He was dressed up. I actually had to stop and look at him.

Since when did he dress up?

He noticed my expression and smiled. "I'll be back in abit."

"Please. Don't."

He kissed his teeth and shouted his goodbye's before leaving the house. Didn't even want to know where he was headed. I went straight to my room and kicked off my Airforces and did exactly as I had planned to: lie in bed till the next day. Before I could even land on the mattress, a note on the duvet caught my eye. It had my name on it. I picked it up and read it. 

Rebecca,

I want you to look nice for me.

I'll be over to pick you up.

Not gonna let you stay in all day, so you have no choice.

It's gonna be fun, I promise.

And I won't hurt your wrists this time.

See you at 9.

—Ty

I couldn't help but smile as I read the note through another four times. Bless him, what a prick.

Guess I was wrong by saying the girls had something to look forward to, now I did aswell. I laughed and folded the note up before releasing a happy sigh. For some reason seeing this note from Ty lifted my spirits. My positive attitude began to seep through all the negative energy that had built up inside of me for so long. Tyreece has been a saint these past few weeks. Ever since I had woken up in the hospital he's done nothing but look after me and make sure I was okay. He hasn't even left my side. I was just appreciative that he cared so much about my happiness. The door opened swiftly. I turned to see Claycia stood there in the doorway.

"Yuh busy?" she asked.

"Not at all. You okay?"

She nodded and fiddled with her fingers. "I told that boy at school about how I felt today."

"Ah really? What did he say?"

"He said he was flattered but he doesn't really know me."

I raised a brow. "That it?"

She nodded with a sad smile. "I kinda saw it coming anyway."

"Aww muffin." I walked closer and ruffled her hair.

She laughed and sighed. "It’s okay."

"Mm. Try being his friend first and then see where things go."

"I'll try."

"Good." She scrutinised me for a second. "What?

"You're happy now. This morning you was vex at the world." I laughed at her fading Caribbean accent.

"Well, now I'm not."

"How come?"

I shrugged. "Just suddenly happy I suppose." She gave me an odd look. I smiled and patted her hair then left the room. As I walked past Andre's room I heard slow jams playing. I paused.

Since when did this prick listen to Jodeci?

I didn't even knock; I just opened the door getting ready to throw the closest object possible at him but stopped dead in my tracks once I saw him and Jasmine kissing on his bed. They departed and both turned to me. I smiled.

"Ah, so is that it now? Valentine's day comes and you wanna get excited wid your slow jams. Bless you, Dre." Jasmine giggled and hid her face in the chest of an embarrassed Andre. He screwed and I winked at him. "As you were," I said simply. I proceeded to close the door but stopped and looked him dead in the eye. "No foreplay or fornicating; I'll have to cut off your willy." I smiled sweetly then shut the door. I heard him kiss his teeth on the other end as Jasmine laughed hysterically.

I went downstairs into the kitchen where dad and uncle were still playing dominos, with the new addition: Diamond. I headed to the fridge and retrieved some apple juice, then went to the cupboard and got a glass.

"Yuh alright, sweetness?" Uncle asked me with his hand in mid-air, ready to slam the domino down on the kitchen table. I nodded, and then he slammed it down as expected. "Wah yuh seyin now rudebwoy! Double two!"

"Hol' arn," dad replied, examining the dominos in his hand. He was so into the game, probably thinking of a different strategy. It's just dominos, there was nothing to it!

"When is it my turn?" Diamond asked with her head tilted in confusion. I laughed at the scene as I poured my juice.

"Dad, uncle, I'm going out tonight with a friend." They both paused and turned to me.

"Yuh askin' or tellin’?" Uncle Clayton narrowed his eyes.

"Can I go out tonight?" I said quickly, rephrasing my statement. Nigga's intimidating.

"With who, Becc's?" dad asked.

"A friend," I repeated.

"Wah 'im name?" uncle questioned.

"What makes you think it's a he?"

"It's Valentine’s day, Becc's. We weren't born yesterday." Dad sipped at his larger.

"Ee-hee, tink seh Clayton nah know wagwaan. Mi use to sneak e'rynight fi go link up gyal."

I rolled my eyes. "It's not a boy."

"Tink me chupid?"

"No uncle. It's not a boy though." They both watched me suspiciously. It was weird the way they looked so alike and raised their left eyebrow in the same way, at the same time. I smiled and left the kitchen before they could refuse.

It was 8:35 and I had just finished curling my hair. Thought I might aswell make an effort since he was doing this out of the kindness of his heart. I vowed to try my best not to think about him this evening. I wasn't going to spoil the day by being upset or pissed off. This was merely a day out with my friend, why shouldn't I enjoy it?

I sprayed my hair and left it in loose curls for once. I was sick of seeing it in a bun/ponytail, time to set it loose. I peered in the mirror as I applied some mascara and eye-shadow—not too much. I'm Rebecca; I don't go over the top. I remember when Shanay would fight to get me to wear a dress and make-up, now here I was doing both out of my own free will.

Shanay...I will always hate that girl. I can forget, but never forgive. I had forgotten about my To Kill List a long time ago, I think he had taken my mind off of it after I went Mike Tyson on Olivia. I'll let the bitch live, she can do whatever she wants with her life, couldn't really give a flying fuck. 

I smoothed the creases down on my purple strapless dress and wore my favourite cream cardigan. I slipped my feet into my 5 inch heels and sprayed some perfume. By the time I was ready I looked at the time on my phone. 8:57.

"Rebecca..." I turned and smiled at Diamond, whose eyes widened once she noticed what I was wearing. "Whoa!" I laughed she smiled eagerly. "You look really nice!"

"Thanks dumpling."

She watched me for a few seconds, deep in thought. "You're not really goin' out wid a girl, are you?"

"Shhh," I winked.

She nodded and did the action of sealing her lips and locking her mouth shut with an imaginary key. "Secret's safe with me," She promised.

I poked her nose and smiled. "Thanks."

"When can I see Zaine?"

"Soon. I'll bring him round one time and you two can play." She beamed at the idea. My phone vibrated, I had received a text from Ty.

—I'm outside

I grinned merrily to myself and soon left the room then went downstairs. I entered to the living-room to where uncle and dad had relocated themselves. They both turned to me.

"Since when yuh wear dress suh?" uncle asked in astonishment.

I laughed and looked down at fitted knee-high dress. "Since a few months back," I answered.

Uncle palmed his face. "Bludclart," he muttered.

"I know, it's that bad," Dad retorted with a knowing look.

"Mi haffi gih shotgun soon," Uncle commented.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm going now."

Dad laughed. "You look really nice, Becc's."

"Ee-hee, too nice! We know yuh nuh dress up fi gyal."

"Like I said Rebecca, we're not stupid."

"Eee, an' we haffi lay dun a few rules, seen?" I watched as he began to list them out on his fingers. Oh God no. "No kissin', no feel up, no touchin', nuh hol' han, no eye contact longer dan 3 seconds, no general contact whatsoever." I blinked in bewilderment. He was actually serious.

"Alright uncle...bye!" I quickly left the house. I could hear them laughing as I closed the front door behind me. I sighed and shivered as the cool breeze enveloped me. I expected to see Ty stood there waiting but instead no-one was there. I looked around in confusion, searching for him.

"Becc's."

I turned and saw him stood dressed smartly in a three-piece-suit next to a Honda Civic. My face automatically lit up as I approached him. He smiled gently when I got closer and hugged him tight. 

"You look nice," he whispered in my ear.

"Thanks, you too." He smiled gently and opened the car door, granting access like a proper gentleman. I waited until he got in the driver’s seat and gave him a polite smile. "When did you get a car?"

"Not mine, Zion's. He's away so I got his keys." He smiled and I laughed.

"So Shy Ty isn't so shy anymore?"

He chuckled. "Not for now." He dug into his pocket and pulled out a medium-sized rectangular shaped box. He handed it to me and I smiled. 

"You didn't have to, Ty."

"I did, cos you're special to me." I sighed and felt my heart-rate speed up. He was being so kind and considerate. I didn't know how I was even gonna thank him. "Don't open it yet, just hold onto it."

I nodded. "Okay."

He then put his keys into ignition and put the stick into gear. "I just want you to enjoy yourself this evening."

With him not here by my side I didn't even feel whole, Ty was one of the few to actually make me crack a smile since he left me. He was beginning to fill up the emptiness that I felt deep inside. Needless to say, I was enjoying his company. No harm in having a bit of fun...

I smiled and rubbed his arm. "I plan to."