Chapter thirty-eight

Kayden

The sound of passing cars outside caused me to wake up the following morning. Took me a minute to remember where I actually was. I yawned and stretched as I viewed my surroundings. Once my eyes had cleared properly, I analysed the room I had slept in. Aaliyah had a lot going on right now; I scanned the pictures on her wall and all the plants and good furniture. She was doing well on her own, looking after her family and that. I always knew Aaliyah would become independent, it was inevitable.

I remember how fragile she used to be, and now she's managed to turn her life around in a matter of months. She no longer needed to depend on me. I sat up on the sofa and yawned again. No wonder I could hear the cars, the window was left open from last night.

I peered at the clock on the wall for the time. One-thirty-five pm.

There came a knock on the door. I sat up fully, knowing who it was.

"Can I come in?" Aaliyah asked from the other side.

"It's your flat."

She laughed and opened the door; emerging in her purple silk dressing gown and carrying two mugs of hot chocolate. The sight of her was stunning, I found myself staring. She was beautiful. I cleared my throat and turned away to distract myself. She sat beside me and I noticed her bare thigh as her gown hitched up a fraction. She was completely naked beneath the gown. She handed me a mug and smiled.

"Thanks, Li."

"Don't mention it." She reached over me to get hold of the Sky remote. The feel of her breasts brushing my chest caused me to stiffen. I haven't felt another girl's body close to mine in a good year. I was horny half the time, and wanted nothing more than to be close to Ree right now, but it wasn't possible.

Once she had the remote she turned the TV on and tucked her legs beneath herself, sipping at her drink. She found an appropriate channel and became engrossed. I realised she wasn't with Janai. Not even gonna lie, the sight of her little sister yesterday left me speechless. I had remembered Aaliyah telling me about her mother's pregnancy before I left for all those months. Time definitely flew by. She was something else though, looked just like her mum.

"Where's Janai?" I asked.

"Sleeping at the moment."

I nodded and rested my leg on her lap. She laughed and pinched my foot, so I gave her a stern look.

"Ey, never pinch a man's foot," I warned.

"Sorry boss."

I smirked and relaxed, using Li as a foot rest. I took more sips of the hot chocolate and sighed; it was like sex to my tongue. Drinking this reminded me of Sunday mornings back at mine. Mum would always make fresh pancakes for me and Zaine when we were younger, along with the sexiest hot chocolate. I tried my hardest not to think of my family though, sometimes it was too painful. I missed them regardless, especially mum. I was glad I saw Zaine yesterday, even though he watched me like I was a reincarnation of his worst fear. I couldn't even begin to picture my mum's reaction. Sometimes being nostalgic had its cons, so I just get on with life without much thought. There was silence as I watched the screen absentmindedly.

"It's been hard, Kayden." I looked at Aaliyah, who had been staring at me the entire time.

"What do you mean?"

"Without you around for so long, it was hard to cope." She frowned slightly and I sat upright.

"You managed fine. Look, you've even got your own yard."

"I know, but I missed this: us. Just being together and having a good time."

I fell silent. Me and Aaliyah have always been together from a young age. Our families have been close since day one, and because of that, so were we. Went to the same nursery, school, and secondary. Eventually we drifted apart, but I could never forget the good times. She was my first. 

I placed the mug down on the coaster and pulled her into me. "I won't put you through any of that again," I said.

She smiled weakly. "Okay."

I kissed her gently on the forehead. "You got a spare flannel and toothbrush?"

"Left it out on the sink. Help yourself."

I thanked her then got up and headed to the bathroom. I spotted the flannel and toothbrush on the sink. Wouldn't make sense me getting a shower, could wait till I got back to mine. I washed my face thoroughly and brushed my teeth then left the bathroom.

As I passed the bedroom I heard blubbering and other distinctive noises. I peered through the crack in the door and realised Janai was wide awake, kicking her feet and chatting away to no-one in particular. I laughed, entering the room and watching her move about in the Moses basket. She was tiny, forgot how much I loved children. Couldn't wait till I had my own, with the right girl aswell. Janai peered up at me curiously and dribbled.

"Afternoon cutie," I greeted with a smile. She kicked her feet again and brushed her hands against her cheek. "What's your sister doing leaving you in here all alone, eh?" I picked her up, making sure to support her head. She watched me as she chewed on her bottom lip with her gum. "You must be hungry init? Come; let's go cuss your sister." I left the room and went back into the living-room to see Aaliyah relaxed on the sofa watching Maury. 

"Look who's awake," I announced, holding her up.

Aaliyah peered up and smiled at Janai. "Since when?"

I shrugged and sat back beside her, handing her Janai, who was still blubbering merrily. I watched her chew her lip with her gum, still dribbling. "She looks hungry."

"I fed her not too long ago."

"If she's anything like your mum, I'd feed her again." We both knew Aunt Kam had the deadliest appetite. Anytime she came round mine she'd leave the fridge empty. Aaliyah laughed and nodded in agreement.

"True. She eats quite a lot. I'll feed her in a minute." My phone went off. I checked to see I had a text from Christian. I put my phone away; I'll get back to him in a bit. "So glad you're back, Kayden. Your parents have been worried sick."

I rested my head back and breathed deeply, peering up at the ceiling. "Yeah..."

She gave me an odd look, now catching on. "You have seen them, right?" I shook my head and her eyes widened. Janai began to fiddle with her necklace. "Kayden...why?"

"Didn't wanna complicate things."

She scoffed. "Complicated isn't even the word. You have to see them." I rolled my eyes. She loved to nag, come like my mum.

"Went back there yesterday, saw Zaine," I informed.

She edged closer, the curiosity sparkling in her pretty brown eyes. "What did he say?"

"It's not about what he said. It was the way he looked at me; like he didn't know who I was anymore."

She sighed and began to rock Janai, who was now chewing on her gown. "Were your parents there?"

"Nah, they went out."

She shook her head in dismay. "You really need to see them. They think you're dead."

"Bad things tend to follow me around. I don't want my family to pay for my mistakes. I can't be seen in that house."

"I just hope you know what you're doing."

"I do." And I did. Depending on how things turn out this week, I'd be returning on Saturday.

Aaliyah fell into deep hesitation, before turning back towards me. "Have you seen her?" she questioned. Straight away I knew who she was referring to.

"Yeah, few days ago."

"What happened?"

"A lot. She ain't too happy with me."

She rolled her eyes. "She's so high maintenance," she muttered.

I gave her a look. I always knew she had a problem with Ree. There was some form of hatred and resentment there.

"I need to give her some time init. She's got a new one in her life now."

Her mouth expanded. "Really?"

"Yeah, but I don't care about that. I just want her back." And I don't plan on giving up until I finally have her again.

She stirred her hot chocolate around with the teaspoon and bit the inside of her cheek as she thought. By now Janai was drifting off, still with Aaliyah's gown in her mouth.

"Maybe it's better this way," she muttered. I looked at her curiously. She noticed my questioning glare and continued. "I mean, there's nothing but stress and anger between you two, it's been this way for ages. Maybe it's best to let her go. There are other girls out there."

I shook my head. "Nah. You don't get it, Li. You don't know what it's like to feel this way about someone. I'll fight for her." I caught her rolling her eyes, then she nodded slowly in defeat.

"I think I do know what it's like, Kayden."

My brow rose. "What?"

She huffed in exasperation. "Nevermind. You finished with that?" She pointed to the empty mug in my hand. I gave it to her and she hastily left the room with Janai in one hand, and the mug in the other.

I sat there silently thinking to myself. My ideal day would consist of relaxing in bed with Rebecca, just being with her. That's what I've missed the most these few months: being with her. I didn't want to think of her or my family too much, just reminded me of how long it's been and what I've missed out on.

I closed my eyes momentarily and exhaled. I was sick and tired of this shit. I wanted things to be the way they used to. Life wasn't the same, and I was afraid it never will be. I heard the door open but my eyes remained firmly shut.

"Kayden," she muttered.

"Mm?"

"Is something wrong?"

I opened my eyes to see Aaliyah stood in front of me carrying a solemn look on her face. The rope around her silk gown was beginning to loosen. I stood up and cupped her face gently in my hands. Her big brown eyes shimmered as they stared into mine. That's when I realised the old fragile Aaliyah was back, the same one that depended on me for every little thing. She appeared so worried and apprehensive. Her lips parted and she breathed heavily as I analysed every perfect detail of her face. She was remarkable, and I always knew this. She was developing into a fine young woman, and I've watched all the developments take place.

"Everything's fine. I'm going," I said.

She frowned and her lips formed a thin line of anguish. I knew she thought that I wouldn't return, but I promised that it wouldn't happen again. I always kept my promise.

My hands left her face and slowly cascaded her neck, shoulders and arms, finally resting on her waist. I held her firmly and pressed my forehead against hers. She watched me closely.

"I'll see you again?"

"Definitely."

She nodded and her body relaxed. She then pursed her lips and kissed me gently. Just a peck. She breathed on my lips, and then licked her own.

"It's been awhile since I've done that," she whispered.

I gave her an intrusive glare and sighed. I noticed the rope of her gown was now hanging on either end, allowing the gown to open. Before I saw anything tempting, I tied the rope and kissed her on the forehead.

"I'll call you." She nodded again and I soon left.

The cool air of July caused me to shiver as I stepped into the car. I started the engine and thought of where I could go. I had no-one else to visit at the moment, so returning to the flat seemed legit enough. Switching the radio on, I began my journey back to my temporary home.

Becca

My nap in the staffroom was interrupted by the loud chatter between Javon and Leroy. I screwed the both of them as they continued discussing football and other bullshit.

"You disturbed my slumber," I muttered as I rubbed my eye. They laughed in unison.

"You shouldn't even be asleep. Mr Smith was looking for you," Javon tutted.

The recognition of our manager's name caused me to sit up in the chair. "Did you tell him where I was?"

Leroy shook his head. "Nah."

"Oh thank God." I sank back into the chair and relaxed once more. I took more breaks than necessary, and I never got caught. It was amazing how much freedom I had in this job, however I still missed the old antics that Kayden, Stacey, Nathan and I got up to. I missed those days. The only one I didn't miss was Nathan's cousin who also worked there: Natasha. She pissed me off to such extremes, always trying to get into Kayden's boxers, and she's OLD. I frowned as I thought about her. Footlocker stored some great memories. Don't get me wrong, Caffe Nero was cool, but it could never compare to my previous job, and that was a fact.

"Not enough sleep?" Javon questioned.

"I never get enough sleep, especially with my uncle there. My house is like the Gaza strip." They both laughed and I sighed. They had no idea what Uncle Clayton was like, and if they did, they wouldn't be laughing.

Eventually Javon's shift was over and he left—the lucky bastard. Once he was gone it was just me and Leroy, who was on the phone to someone. I decided to head back to the counter before Mr. Smith went on the hunt to search for me again. As I approached I noticed Chanel was arguing with yet another customer.

"You can't just enter and demand to see someone. It's people like you who piss me off y'kna! I should jump over this counter and fuc-..."

"Chanel man, leave it," I called. They both turned to me as I got behind the counter and wore my apron.

Chanel rolled her eyes exasperated. I was always the one to stop her from abusing a customer. I turned to the person on the other side of the counter and my eyes widened in awe. She stared back, carrying the same perplexed expression as she gazed. I thought I was seeing things, but my eye sight was usually accurate. I couldn't help but smile at her.

"Becc's?" she asked cautiously.

"Stacey?"

Chanel raised an eyebrow at the two of us. "You know this girl?" she questioned, turning to me.

I nodded in response. "It's alright Chan; I've got it from here." Chanel tutted and walked off into the staff room. Once she was gone I gave Stacey a warm smile. Funny how I was just thinking about her and now here she was. "So, how you doing stranger?"

She beamed. "Long time no see."

"I see you've got that purple hair going on," I acknowledged. Stacey appeared completely different to the last time I had seen her. She laughed in return.

"Yeah, well, I wanted a change."

"Yeah, you've changed alright," I agreed as I analysed her. She wore a cream cardigan with coloured leggings and Toms: classic Stacey garments. It was a change from seeing her in the usual Footlocker attire. For once her face wasn't caked in make-up. Her light mascara and lip-shine complimented her eyes and lips. Not to mention her purple hair that flared in the light. She looked well.

She noticed me scrutinising her and gave a nervous chuckle. "What?"

"How long you been back in London? You couldn't even holler at a nigga!"

She laughed. "Well I've been here for a few hours now. I'm sorry."

I folded my arms. I didn't want to argue with her, it was just good to see my old work colleague again. "You're lucky I've missed you."

"Missed you too, Becc's. It really has been ages."

I nodded in agreement. "I know bro. But hey, nevermind. Want anything?"

She scoped what was on display and hesitated. "That muffin looks scrumptious." She admired the double chocolate chip muffin that rested on the bottom shelf.

I got it from display and handed it to her over the counter. "This one's on the house." I grinned at her and she smiled in appreciation.

"Thanks. So, you enjoy working here?"

"Fuck no. This place is boring as hell. But it's not so bad when I have the other workers here. Plus when people fall over, spill coffee on themselves, or start an argument, it gets live." She laughed as if I were joking.

"I see Footlocker got burned down to a pulp."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't even remind me." She sighed and my eyebrows furrowed as I thought of the London riots. That was one thing I didn't want to relive.

"Does Javon work here?" she enquired out of the blue.

I raised an eyebrow as she popped a piece of the muffin in her mouth. "You know that peasant?"

She nodded slowly, now seeming shy. "Yeah, is he in today?"

"He finished his shift not too long ago. What, you two fucking?"

Her mouth gaped open and she began to choke on the muffin. "Becca!"

I shrugged. I just wanted to know. "Simple question."

She hastily shook her head. "No! He's just a friend."

I watched her closely. She was good at hiding her personal life away from everyone else. I vividly remembered the scars on her forearms and the bruises that would arise on her face. I never once knew where they came from. She lied about the cuts and bruises; she could easily be lying about Javon.

"Mmhm," I grunted in response. Just then a middle aged female customer appeared. I rolled my eyes, already knowing that she would butt into our conversation.

"Excuse me, I'll have-..."

"Nah but can't you see I'm talking to someone?" I snapped. The woman paused mid-sentence and blinked in bewilderment. Turning away from her, I faced Stacey once again. "People have no manners man."

She palmed her face and shook her head. "It's alright Becc's, serve her."

I shrugged and took the woman's order. After she walked off I watched Stacey who had just finished her muffin. "It's good to see you though. You seem happy." She nodded. We spoke for a little while longer until she said she had to go.

My shift was over. I mentally thanked the good lord and left Caffe Nero after saying my goodbyes. The sun was setting and the dark clouds were beginning to form. I decided now would be a good time to visit the yard shop for some food. I eventually neared the shop which was barricaded by three elderly black men who was stood outside the shop, all talking and smoking. The conversation ceased and their eyes burned into me. It was vile.

"Wah'um sweetness," one said, smiling at me with no teeth. It made me shudder.

"Fuck off please. Wouldn't want to break your hip. You should be at home paying your pension." I pushed passed him and entered the shop. I ordered my food and soon left with my Jerk Chicken and rice with Festival. I was content at the moment. It was rare for me to be in such a good mood, and nothing was gonna put me down today. Nothing.

I continued my journey home and thought about Tyreece. Our relationship was going well at the moment, apart from the fact he was convinced that I was keeping something from him...which was true. I could never tell him about what happened a few days ago, it would complicate everything.

My thoughts were interrupted by the beeping of a car horn. I turned to my left to see who was beeping at me, ready to throw a rock at the car. Kayden peered at me through the window of the car as he drove alongside me. My heart thudded erratically as his eyes searched mine through the glass. He was the last person I'd expect to see at this time. I had no actual clue how to react. He really had a knack of appearing at the most random moments. My breathing quickened as well as my pace. The window slowly cascaded as he pushed the button, giving him a clear view of me. The fuck? Had he followed me?

"Going home?" he questioned. There it was; the all too familiar voice that I missed dearly.

I turned away from him and faced ahead, ignoring my irrational thoughts. "Yeah," I answered dryly. I glanced at him through my peripheral vision. His face was stern, yet sincere.

"I'll drop you," he offered.

"I'm fine walking."

He rolled his eyes. "Let me drop you, Ree." Hearing him call me that; his very own unique nick-name for me, the one I cherished the most. It was just like old times, brought back an unwelcome sense of nostalgia.

I came to a halt and the car did also. He leaned over to open the other door, allowing access into his Pegueot 207. I reluctantly stepped into the car and he began to drive again. Keeping his eyes focused on the road, he opened the sunroof. Wind began to blow my hair about from the new opened portal. I enjoyed the warm breeze, made a change from the usual shit British weather. The tension was unbearable. I found it almost impossible to turn to him. I didn't want to be caught staring.

"How've you been?" he questioned, extending his arm once more to turn down the soft R&B music that the speakers emitted.

I cleared my throat and kept my eyes ahead. Don't look at him Becc's.

"Fine," I answered before foolishly proceeding. "And you?"

He gave a deep sigh. I witnessed him gently bite his lower lip. "I've been better," he muttered.

I stared at him intently. I remember when he used to bite on my lip like that...

No. Stop it! Don't look.

I briskly turned away once again and focused on the road ahead.

"I saw Footlocker," he stated blandly, his voice tranquil and hushed. I almost didn't hear him speak.

I stole a quick glance at him. His fingers lightly tapped on the steering wheel impatiently. It was then I realised that we were stuck in traffic, just a few miles away from home. I tutted to myself. This is some bullshit. It was evident that he was trying his very best to keep the conversation flowing. To be honest I didn't want to talk, especially with him.

The smell of jerk chicken clouded my nose. I held the bag of food close to me and imagined myself seated at the kitchen table stuffing my face. I probably would've made it home already if I continued walking. But NAH, I had to get stopped by this prick. I hadn't even responded to him yet, so I gave a brief nod.

"Yeah."

He turned to me and our eyes locked, only for a nanosecond. I watched his almond shaped eyes and couldn't help but admire the light brown iris with faint hazel around the edges. He peered back, intrigued at something. I studied his clear and shaved face and took in all the details that made this guy perfect. His rigid jaw line, cute nose, perfectly shaped lips, the faint moustache that rested about it, his wonderful eyes and amazing hair. Unfortunately, I had fallen for this cunt, but that was a mistake I would never make again.

"Are you working somewhere else now?" he asked, interfering with my thoughts.

"Yeah. Caffe Nero."

He nodded his approval, and then he immediately went in for the kill. "We need to talk, Rebecca."

My eyes narrowed in response. I turned away fully, this time to view the life outside the window. The streets were as busy as the roads, seeing as it was rush-hour. "We talked already. Nothing else needs to be said."

"There's a lot we haven't covered. I miss you."

My chest tightened at his soft mellow voice. I couldn't respond this time. I desperately wanted to tell him, to let him know that I missed him as well. Probably more than he missed me. We've been through so much since we met, overcoming obstacles and whatnot, and then he disappeared. Of course I missed him. But right now, I was speechless.

"Tomorrow night, I wanna see you."

I tutted to myself. He had the audacity.

"You can't just make demands, Kayden."

I watched as the corner of his mouth lifted into a little smirk. "It's more of a proposition."

I sighed. "That's not a good idea."

"Just to talk," he assured.

I rested my head on the window. I knew I shouldn't have entered the car. I knew it!

"To talk..." I repeated. I remembered the last time I saw him, when we argued for what seemed like ages. Cursing and swearing at one another. Then we shared that mind blowing kiss. I don't know if I could go through all that confusion again, I've had enough of arguing.

"We can go out for a meal and talk," he proposed.

My stomach churned at the very idea. A meal? With this prick?

"The last thing I wanna do is eat with you." I heard his weighted breath. I glanced at him again to see his furrowed brows.

"I don't want to argue. We need to sort this out. A meal wouldn't hurt, and it wouldn't mean anything either."

I watched the road ahead and hesitated. After a brief moment I exhaled heavily and screwed. "What time."

His face brightened in delight. "Six-thirty good?"

"Yeah, whatever."

By now we had reached my house. The engine came to an abrupt halt and the car stilled. We were now surrounded by solemn peace and quiet. I glanced at him. He watched me closely, silently, waiting. I didn't want to spend another waking minute with him right now; the tension was too high for my liking.

"See you tomorrow," he muttered.

"Yeah." I exited the car and closed the door.

Later on that evening I lay awake listening to the conversation between Diamond and Claycia. They were both in my room discussing TV and music. To be honest I couldn't care less what they were blabbing on about, I just needed to take my mind off of what I had gotten myself into for tomorrow. I didn't want to think about Kayden. I also didn't want to see him, talk to him, be near him, touch him, smell him...ANYTHING.

It didn't take me long to realise that I had made a terrible mistake by agreeing to see him in the afternoon. It was a bad idea from the beginning to get into the fucking car with him! And seeing him today brought back mild feelings that I didn't even welcome anymore.

I couldn't get over how nice he looked today, that made it harder for me to refuse. He was such a prick, but he had a skill for being so convincing. I didn't want to fall for any kind of trap. He had a pair of heartfelt eyes that any girl would die for; that was the worst thing. I was so stupid to say yes. Argh, why did I agree?! And he claimed it would be to talk, but I knew he had other plans. I'd be damned if I allowed anything else to happen. We have history, but I won't do anything else to jeopardise the relationship I have with Tyreece. He was too special to be taken advantage of.

I frowned as I peered up at the ceiling. Fuck sake, why is my life like this?

"Rebecca..." My ears perked up at the English mixed with Caribbean accent and I peered at Diamond who was watching me intently.

"Yeah?"

"You've been ignorin' me the whol' time." Her eyes narrowed. "Daddy seh my hair need doin'." I chuckled at her speech. She was funny without even trying.

"I'll do your hair tomorrow. Right now I need to sleep." I turned to the clock that hung on my wall before watching her again. "And so do you. Go get changed." She rolled her eyes and soon left the room.

"I'm not tired," Claycia announced.

"At least lie down, it's getting late."

She nodded and began to get changed. I turned on my side and waited for her to turn off the light. Once she did, I closed my eyes and began to drift off but was brought out of my partial slumber by my ring tone. I smiled at the caller ID before answering.

Me: "Hey."

Tyreece: "Did I wake you?" I yawned.

Me: "Not really, but I'm drifting off. What's up?"

Tyreece: "Nothing. Just wanted to hear your voice, ain't seen you in ages." My smile widened.

Me: "Bless you. We should meet up one day."

Tyreece: "Yeah, we should." Claycia gave me a look and I smiled sweetly at her. She was used to me and Tyreece's late night conversations. That was mainly the reason she hardly slept. Ah well, she'll get over it. She lay down and turned on her side, facing away from me, then began to text on her phone.

Me: "How've you been?"

Tyreece: "Fine, just missing you." I laughed.

Me: "Miss you too. Quick question Ty..."

Tyreece: "Go on."

Me: "If someone was to go on a date with their ex, what would be your view on it?" He hesitated.

Tyreece: "Depends. If they're still friends then there's no problem." I nodded slowly as if he could see me.

Me: "Alright."

Tyreece: "Why?" His voice was now low and daunting.

Me: "No reason, just wondering." I laughed but he didn't seem amused. I then remembered how paranoid and suspicious he had become ever since I cried in his room. He still had no idea what was wrong with me that evening and he never will know. I didn't want things complicated. Everything has been going smoothly for us, and Kayden wasn't gonna ruin that. "Another question..."

Tyreece: "Yeah?"

Me: "Is your brother still with Olivia?"

Tyreece: "Nah, they ended a couple weeks ago. Apparently she's gone missing." I couldn't help but laugh quietly to myself. "Why?" he asked.

Me: "Nothing. I just remembered that you used to be with her." That bitch, with her wide bucket vagina. Always fucking boys on the block. Thinking of her made me sick to my stomach.

Tyreece: "She never made me happy like you did. In fact, no-one has." My cheesy grin appeared.

Me: "How sweet, you ragamuffin." He chuckled lightly.

Tyreece: "I have a question for you now."

Me: "I'm listening."

Tyreece: "You know my team won the annual Wandsworth relay race. We're all going out to celebrate; I want you to be there." I became flushed at the sudden offer. The good thing about Ty is that he always wanted me to be involved in whatever he did. It was overwhelming. He could share anything with me and not regret it, that's what I loved. I then came to realisation that I had already arranged something for tomorrow afternoon. I sighed and peered at Claycia, who was now snoring softly on her bed.

Me: "I'm busy tomorrow." He paused. I heard his light breathing on the other end.

Tyreece: "This is important to me Becc's. I want to be able to celebrate with you." I closed my eyes. Now I felt bad.

Me: "I know. I'm happy for you, Ty. We can celebrate another day." He sighed.

Tyreece: "Yeah, alright. I'll call you back." I heard the cold animosity in his voice.

Me: "Tyreece..." He hung up. I listened to the dial tone and shook my head. I kissed my teeth and threw my phone down. Now I've done it...I've pissed him off. He isn’t gonna forgive me for a long while. My phone vibrated. Thinking it was Ty I retrieved it instantly, only to frown at the screen when I realised it was a text from Kayden;

—Nando's cool?

I rolled my eyes at this irrelevant prick and replied;

—Yeah, whatever.

I put my phone away and went to bed.

I took in my surroundings and viewed the numerous families that were perched at each table, all talking amongst themselves merrily as they enjoyed their spicy meal. The atmosphere was lively and filled with clamorous chatter. I envied everyone else surrounding me. They all came to enjoy themselves and spend time eating out as a family. I, however, came to speak to someone who I despised. Needless to say I was more or less forced into this. I knew Kayden wouldn't take no for an answer—the cunt. I made sure to keep the fork close in order to jook him in case he got mouthy.

I peered down at my plate of 1/4 chicken with chips and felt mildly irritated. I hadn't eaten Nando's in a long while. In fact, the last time I was here was when that bastard Leon took me.

And now he's dead.

It made me realise how quickly the year had gone by. Already we were back in the summer, when I had first originally met Kayden on that fateful day outside Footlocker. Now a whole year has passed, and here we were. I inhaled and reluctantly picked a single chip from the plate. I wasn't exactly hungry, but I wouldn't mind devouring this.

Just then a glass was placed on the table right beside my plate; the straw within the glass was left afloat. I peered up at Kayden and nodded a thank you. Bending the straw I took a sip of Fanta, enjoying the tangy liquid flowing into my system.

He sat down and drank from his glass. I watched him silently as his head tilted back, allowing the coke to slide down his throat with ease. His Adams apple bobbed as he took more sips. He then placed the glass on the table and licked his bottom lip. He had a long snaky tongue, the flexible kind that was capable of inducing the sweetest pleasure. I remembered the time he licked the tip of his nose with his tongue. My memories drifted to many months ago when he would trail his tongue along my body teasingly, right before his fingers would...

"You gonna eat?" he questioned, giving me a curious glare.

I came back from my distant reverie before picking up another chip. Chewing on it slowly, I sighed. I still couldn't believe I was sat here with this beautiful prick. He tucked into his flame-grilled chicken silently and I watched him eat. I frowned slightly; I wasn't here for a lovely chitchat and a meal. I want answers.

"Talk then," I said.

He paused, a mouth full of food, and stared at me. "What?"

"You brought me here to talk. So talk."

He chewed slowly, hesitating. "Alright," he muttered, and then swallowed. "How's work?"

I screwed immediately. "None of that bullshit. Do you think I've come here to chat about work?"

His jaw clenched. "This isn't easy for me Ree. It's been awhile since I've spent time with you."

I ate another chip and watched him. "And we both know why."

He continued to eat, ignoring my comment. "I wanna know what you've been up to the past year," he said.

Using my knife and fork I cut into my chicken. Usually I'd use my hands and bite the hell out of it, but I wasn't even in my right mind at the moment.

"Well," I began. "Not much. Crying, suffering from depression, staying locked up in my room, ignoring family and friends, getting shot at, spending time in hospital, and working. What about you?"

His eyes became slits as he analysed me. He knew that today I wasn't fucking around. I still hadn't forgiven him for abandoning me.

"You know what I've been through."

Chewing on my chicken, I edged closer. "No I don't. Enlighten me." I gave him a mocking glare and his lips formed an irritated line.

"I was staying low and remaining hidden. That's it."

"Don't forget murdering."

His eyes widened in scepticism at my blunt statement. "You say it like it's an occupation."

"For you, it is."

He scoffed and took another swig of his drink. "I did what I had to do," he countered.

"Killing my ex for revenge? Didn’t exactly have to do it." He noticed my hushed tone and blunt sarcasm and frowned.

"You know exactly why I did it, Ree." There it was again, that nickname that only he called me. Only Kayden could still make me shiver inwardly just by saying my name. He had that odd effect on me. He knew I wasn't bothered about Leon's death, although I sometimes wondered how his mum and the rest of his family were doing.

"Whatever. What's done is done." I gave a simple shrug and sipped my Fanta. I trembled. It was cold and chilling...or maybe it wasn't the beverage. I was aware that he was watching me closely, and it had a huge effect on my body. I wish he wouldn't stare like that, it was nerve-racking.

"You look nice," he said quietly, analysing my summer dress.

I peered down at myself. I had tried not to make an effort today, but it was friggin' hot outside. Fortunately, the dress covered most of my assets, so he shouldn't stare.

I sighed and ate another chip. "Thanks."

I didn't want to say the same, I was still angry at him. My eyes ran over his white and grey checked shirt that was left open to reveal his plain white vest underneath. His cornrows were freshly done. Underneath the table I knew he wore a pair of black jeans with grey and white Airforces. His black Rosary beads swung left to right as he repeatedly bent over to devour some more food. He looked amazing, but I couldn't say. I didn't want to compliment him. He was a prick.

"How's the family?"

I shrugged and was becoming aggravated at all of the questions. "They're good."

I was half-way through my meal, whereas Kayden had finished completely. He was always a fast eater. He drank more of his coke and fiddled with the glass. By the look on his face I knew what was on his mind.

"Your parents..." I began.

His eyes met mine, and he frowned slightly. "What about them?"

The shock washed over me. My assumption was right. "You haven't seen them, have you?"

He turned away and took another swig of his coke. That confirmed everything then. My brows furrowed and I stopped eating altogether.

"What the fuck? It's been a year!" I didn't realise my voice was raised until I noticed a nearby table full of Hispanic males peering at me curiously. I screwed all of them and scowled. "What?" They all looked away nervously and continued their meal. My eyes rested on Kayden once again, who appeared exasperated.

"I know," was all he said before I could begin to cuss him. I was close to picking up my fork and throwing it at his forehead. I sat back and stared at him angrily.

"That's fucking selfish, Kayden."

He leaned forward in his chair and lowered his tone. "This Saturday I'll be going back home. I promise."

I rolled my eyes. "So you say."

I stabbed at my chicken, now becoming infuriated by his ways and actions. How dare he not see his parents? They were still worried about him. He's left them in misery. Little did they know that their son was safe and living a few minutes away from them. It wasn't right to leave them in such a state; they were already dreading the worst. Dumb cunt.

"How's you and..." he drifted off. Immediately I knew he was referring to Tyreece and found myself screwing.

"It’s none of your business, but we're fine."

He nodded slowly and finished off his coke. We both fell silent for a few minutes as I continued to eat and he checked his phone. I was sure that eventually he would have something else to talk about, and sure enough his mouth opened once again. He questioned the shooting and who I reckon could have been behind it. I simply frowned in response. That situation was long gone.

I placed my fork down and raised a brow. "How the hell am I supposed to know?"

"You must have some kind of clue, Ree."

I sighed at the mention of my nickname. No matter how he said it, it was always refreshing to the ears.

"Well I don't. I've pissed off a lot of people in the past. It could be anyone."

His frown deepened and he thoughtfully rubbed his chin which contained stubble. I scrutinised him and wondered what was on his mind.

"Must've pissed them off a lot for them to try and shoot you," he muttered.

I shrugged it off. "I'm fine, it was ages ago. We don't have to dwell on it."

"I want to know."

"Why, you gonna kill them too?"

His mouth opened to argue, but then it shut almost immediately. "I'm not like that anymore," he insisted.

I laughed. "And I'm meant to believe that?"

He sighed. "Yeah."

"It's gonna take a lot for me to trust anything you say, let alone believe you."

His eyes darkened and he gave a brief nod. "That's fair."

I was then brought back to the trust exercise that he and I would always go through. I remembered the first time so clearly. Right after Shanay broke my mum's picture. Kayden was there for me. I was highly emotional and vulnerable that day. We spoke, kissed, and touched. One thing led to another, and then his fingers wandered into new places. That was the day I trusted him more than anyone else really.

I mirrored his nod and turned away. "Yeah, it is."

We shared a few glances and I drank the rest of my Fanta. We spoke some more about general things like work and home, then he paid the bill and we left. By now it was half-seven. It was cold on the way back to the car. I hugged myself as we walked down the road and shivered uncontrollably. I then felt a soft material cover my arms and realised Kayden had covered me with his cardigan. I smiled weakly in appreciation and he nodded back.

In no time we had found the car and he dropped me home. He parked and we sat there silently. I sighed and thought to myself. I can't believe I was about to do this. Without any words I left the car and shut the door gently. I could feel his eyes burning into my back as I walked away from the car.

Once I reached my front door, I used the keys to open it and stepped inside the empty house. I knew no-one else was around. Dad and Uncle Clayton had taken Claycia and Diamond out for the day, Andre was probably with his girlfriend Jasmine, and Kieran...fuck knows.

I left the front door open, kicked off my shoes, and then headed upstairs. I arrived upstairs to my room and collapsed onto my bed. Maybe this was a stupid mistake, but I felt like I had to.

I heard the front door shut and footsteps. As expected, Kayden entered the room, his expression unreadable. He closed the door behind him and stood still. I knew he was confused as to why I let him in, and truth be told, I was confused myself. Was this even a good idea?

The room was silent for what seemed like ages until he decided to speak.

"So what happens now?" he asked.

I peered up from my fingers to glare at him awkwardly. He looked so fine stood there against my door with a sexy scorn plastered on his face and a clenched jaw.

"You tell me," I challenged.

Pushing his body away from the door, he strode forward. "I don't want anything to be complicated between us."

I tutted. "It's always gonna be complicated."

He gradually stepped closer then took a seat beside me on the bed. Not too close, but not too far away either. I watched him closely as he laid his hand the duvet. I watched his bronze complexion contrast with my cream coloured sheets as he ran his hands over it gently.

"Been a while since I've sat on this bed," he muttered softly, as if reminiscing.

I turned away briefly and huffed. Why did he have to talk like that? 

He then continued. "Look. You're with Tyreece, I understand that. I wouldn't wanna come in between you two. You're happy, so that's all that matters."

I found my eyes searching his—wide and earnest. I swallowed the lump and managed to restrain myself from becoming hypnotised.

"Good. Cos I am happy," I finally answered, reassuring myself more than him.

His brow raised in suspicion. "You mean that?"

"I've never been so happy."

He nodded, quickly glancing away to peer at the sheets again. "I was happy once," he grumbled. I sighed and felt flustered. Why is he doing this? His head then snapped up and he watched me, as if he had heard my mental question. I expected him to take some form of action but instead he gave a weak smile. "I should go."

"It was nice not shouting at you for once." Well, not fully anyway. His lips formed a small smile, containing more than just humour. "Thanks for the meal."

He shrugged nonchalantly. "I wish I had taken you out more. I bet you're used to it by now."

He was referring to Tyreece again. Now it was my turn to shrug.

"Well..." I was becoming anxious as his dark hooded eyes stared at me. He then exhaled deeply.

"Ree..." I glanced at him. "I can't stay away from you."

I blinked dumbly. What?

"What?" I breathed, voicing my thoughts.

"I can't not see you. After the shit that's happened I've grown attached, and I know you have as well."

I narrowed my eyes. I've never been so confused by this prick before. "What are you saying?"

"I get it. You're with Tyreece. You're happy." He moved closer. "It's been, what, a year? I'm not expecting anything from you." 

Even closer.

"But I don't intend to lose you. I'm not leaving again, that was a mistake I've learned from." His face was now a few centimetres from mine. I became rigid at the smell of his cologne and the sight of him licking his bottom lip in a slow, teasing manner.

"Kayden..."

"Let me finish," he whispered. His profound voice sent a pulse to my lower region. He was making me tingle, just like old times. "You're special to me, Rebecca. You know you are. I've missed out on so many months of spending time with you and protecting you, and I'll never get that time back. Sorry won't change that, but I want to make up for it."

"You don’t-..."

"I'm not done." His voice came out as a low growl.

The tingling sensation intensified as his hand rested on my bare thigh. It was as if his fingers carried some sort of electrical current. I felt sparks on the surface of my skin as well as goosebumps. He leaned closer towards my neck and inhaled, taking in my scent like he used to.

"I understand that..." he drifted off and nipped at my neck gently. I froze as he kissed my skin where he had just bitten it. My whole body quivered as his hand slowly worked up my thigh. "...you're with Tyreece," he finished off, sighing against my neck. The strain at the junction between my legs was getting stronger. I swallowed hard.

"Kayden..." I took a deep breath and stuttered a low groan as he sucked on my neck; softly trailing his tongue downward towards my collarbone before rising back up again. I promised myself that I wasn't gonna get caught in his trap, but I had failed. His fingers rubbed me through the material of my knickers. By now I was wet.

"You're with Tyreece," he repeated.

I had no idea where he was going with this, but at least he knew. With little energy I tried to pry his hand away, but he simply spread my thighs further apart and continued his torture. My heart swelled and my breathing became erratic as my mind scattered. I didn't know how much more of this I could take. I hadn't experienced something like this in a while.

His long skilled fingers prodded at my clit through my thin knickers and I trembled at his familiar touch.

Jesus Christ...

He was always so good at this. I felt my mind wander and my thighs shake. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the guilty pleasure that I was experiencing. He continued to play with me, and I revelled in the sensation that I was used to feeling whenever he was around. His fingers never disappoint, nor do his lips. This brought back so many memories of when we were in this room alone. Suddenly it made me miss him even more, despite the fact that he was currently beside me.

My lips parted and I held onto his muscular arm as I released the suppressed groan that I had been keeping in the whole time. His fingers pulled at the delicate material. I gasped when I felt a sudden breeze down there, he had ripped them off. My chest tightened even more and I bit my bottom lip. Shit shit shit.

"I'm with Ty..." I breathed as his fingers rubbed over my swollen clit painfully slow.

"Yeah. You belong to him..." he whispered in my ear whilst draping my leg over his knee, spreading my legs even more. He slapped my area gently and I whimpered. He kissed my jaw line and I gave a satisfied moan. He did it again. I bit my lip and clutched him tighter. "...but this belongs to me."

He nipped at my ear and without further hesitation, slid two fingers in...