Chapter forty-four

Becca

The wind was beginning to worsen by the time Drake and I left the cinema. He had picked me up from 6th form for a nice outing and since he worked in ODEON everything was free, so I couldn’t complain. We quickly hopped in his car and set off to Norbury for some dessert. I sighed and watched the trees flailing wildly and people struggling to hold up their umbrellas.

"We picked the wrong day to come out," I muttered.

Drake laughed and adjusted his snapback. "As long as you’re in a car, it doesn’t matter."

"True."

He glanced at me quickly before fixating on the road ahead. "What did you think of the film?"

"Ugh, I can’t believe you made me watch that shit." I frowned as I thought about it.

I don’t know how, but Drake managed to persuade me to watch The Last Exorcism with him. I wasn’t into the paranormal or anything similar, but he had been eager to watch so I decided to put up with it. I was expecting him to start throwing popcorn like he did when we first met, but now he was more refined.

I saw the smile tugging at his lips. "Were you scared?"

"No, it was just dumb. Next time I’m picking the film."

"As long as it’s not romance then I’m down."

I smiled and we quickly reached Creams. Luckily there were tables available so we sat by the back. I didn’t waste any time in looking at the laminated menu.

"What are you having?" I asked. He pointed at three different desserts and I raised a brow. "Why?"

"Why not? I’m paying for it."

I laughed at his logic. "You’re gonna feel sick."

"Doubt it. Y’know what I usually have when I go McDonalds."

I cringed at that. I remembered a while back when I followed Drake to Westfield. We stopped off at McDonald’s and he ordered two separate Big Macs to himself, plus two extra fries and a Sweet Chilli Chicken Deli with Crunchy McFlurry.

"Your pay must be good," I muttered.

He shrugged. "It’s average. My manager pisses me off though. Dumb fuck."

I laughed at his sudden anger. "Why?"

"Fat shit keeps deducting my pay. He hates black people."

"You’re half-black," I said blankly.

"Becc’s, he doesn’t like me. Every time I make a mistake he brings my pay down. You’re not supposed to do that."

"Aww Shubdi, you should just complain."

"I have. You think I’m gonna let him treat me like a sack of basmati rice?" He kissed his teeth. "Fuck Herman anyway."

I raised a brow at that. "Herman? Short, bald, fat dude?"

"Yeah, lumpy piece of shit..." He paused and looked at me. "How did you know?"

"He was my manager at Footlocker." I laughed at the coincidence. We really did live in a small world. "He treated me like shit as well, that’s why we used to lock him in the stock room."

Drake chuckled and I admired the slight dimple in his cheek. "We never usually see him to do that kinda stuff. I just steal from the sweets section." He shrugged with no remorse and I laughed. He stood up with the two menus. "Ready to order yeah?"

I nodded and told him what I wanted and he headed to the counter. My phone went off and I checked the caller ID before answering.

"Hey you."

I heard him smile through the phone. "Long time."

"I saw you two days ago, don’t be gay."

He laughed and I smiled at hearing that hearty chuckle. "You been alright?"

"Yeah, just getting by with coursework. You?"

"Same. I have a race coming up in a few days, was wondering if you was coming."

I cooed at that. "Obviously I’m coming. Where is it this time?"

"Wimbledon."

"I hope you’re training hard."

"You know me, Becca. I don’t stop."

"Mm, true."

I sometimes thought that Tyreece was more dedicated to training than anything else. I can’t exactly complain though, he aspired to be an athlete, and he was very level-headed when it came to exercise and preparation. From a young age he liked to run, so I knew that this goal of his was serious. I would never get in the way of that either.

Plus, his body was amazing because of it.

Drake came back and plopped down on the chair. "Came up to £25. It’s on me yeah?" he said with a grin.

I thanked him quietly and Ty paused on the phone.

"That Kayden?" he asked straight away.

I raised a brow at the low voice. "No. My friend Drake."

"Who’s that?" Drake questioned now.

"My man. Anyway, what was you saying Ty?"

"Nah, we’ll talk later since you’re busy."

I sighed at the envious tone. "Ty don’t start..." I heard the dial tone and shook my head before placing my phone down.

"Relationship issues?" Drake guessed.

"Basically."

"I’m all ears, sugar."

I rubbed my face and felt really annoyed at what just happened. "Long story."

"Make it short. I have time."

I released a heavy breath and decided to tell Drake everything, leaving out any sexual details, but he understood perfectly clear. I spoke of when Kayden left, to getting with Tyreece, to when Kayden returned, all the way up to the current dilemma.

By now our desserts had arrived, and the waitress gave Drake an odd look as he took a plate of Strawberry Butterscotch and White Chocolate Indulgence to himself. I thanked her and began eating my Nutella Waffle.

"...So now because of that one incident he doesn’t trust me. Every time I’m out he thinks I’m cheating," I concluded.

Drake swallowed down his waffle and began to analyse the situation. "Sounds like you still have feelings for this Kayden youte, but he’s a bit of a prick. Tyreece is a rebound." My eyes widened at that. "Honestly, I don’t blame him for acting like that. He probably knows it himself."

"That’s not true, Drake."

He shrugged. "Just saying." I sighed heavily and he looked at me. "What?"

"You sound exactly like my friend Grace. She says this shit all the time."

"Grace is right then. Don’t deny any feelings you have for next man, it’ll just make things worse."

"Mm."

He noticed I was playing with my dessert now. "Ah, cheer up Becc’s. This is why I tell girls not to get involved with men; they just fuck up the base."

"Yeah..."

"Any boy that makes you feel like shit isn’t worth it, y’know. If you really wanna work it out with Tyreece, talk to him properly. You’re mature now, so no more games with Kayden, and prove to Ty he’s not a rebound."

I nodded wordlessly, taking all this in.

"None of them deserve you anyway. You’re too buff." I felt Drake’s hefty foot brush against my leg in a consoling manner. "Oi, smile," he said softly.

I looked up and smiled weakly. It was nice hearing a male point of view. "Thanks for that."

"It’s fine sugarplum. Can I taste some?" he asked, nodding towards my plate. I dug my food into the remaining waffle and fed him. "Oh yeah, I wanna get another piercing."

"Again? Jesus Christ, Drake."

"Never say the Lords name in vain."

"I have to. You need deliverance."

He chuckled and began to soak up the syrup with the waffle. "Nothing wrong with a few piercings. Maybe a tattoo."

I watched him lick some sauce off his fork. "What tattoo would you get?"

"Dunno. Might get Hello Kitty on my chest."

I stared at him blankly, waiting for him to tell me he was joking. He continued to eat and realised my eyes were focused on him.

"Being serious," he said. "It was a dare, so I have to get it done soon."

I shook my head and decided not to comment.

"Would you ever get a nipple piercing, Becc’s?"

I sipped my J2O and gave a light shrug. "I’ve thought about it. Maybe one day. You’re gonna have to take me."

"Mm, yeah just lemme know. Best places would be Camberwell or Clapham Junction. I know people there."

"Alright, so you’ll take me soon yeah?"

"Course, and I’ll be there to help you through the pain."

I laughed at that. "Any excuse to see breasts init?"

He gave me a look and raised his brows. I rolled my eyes and we left after Drake got an Oreo milkshake to go. We got back in the warm car and I sighed.

"Where to now?" I asked as he fiddled with his CD’s.

"I gotta go check my boy real quick. I’ll drop you off anywhere if you want?"

"Yeah okay." I directed him to my destination and he drove quickly, bopping his head wildly to Migos "Hannah Montana". He turned his snapback round backwards and started swaying. The song clearly gassed him.

"I got Molly, I got white. I got Molly, I got white. I been trapping, trapping, trapping, trapping, all damn night!"

"I swear to God, Drake."

"You’re saying the Lord’s name in vain again."

"I’m so tired of you," I muttered. He laughed and turned the volume even higher. I decided to leave him in his own little ghetto fantasy and sipped on his milkshake instead.

He soon dropped me off and I stepped out the car.

"Thanks for today, Drake."

"It’s cool. Don’t leave it so long next time."

"Definitely. I’ll call you." I leaned through the window to give him a kiss on the cheek and said my goodbyes before he sped off. I heard Chief Keef blasting through his speakers as he swerved round the corner.

Using the new keys he had cut for me, I opened the front door and kicked off my Vans before heading upstairs. I went to Ty’s room and saw him standing by the wardrobe pulling on a vest.

"Hi," I greeted quietly.

"It was nice of him to drop you off," he said.

I realised he was close to the window and was able to see Drake’s car pulling away. He was refusing to look at me as well. I shut the door gently with my foot. "Ty..."

"Mm?"

"You obviously have something to say so just say it."

"What can I say? I can’t stop you from having male friends."

"No you can’t. Just like I can’t stop you having female friends."

"I don’t kiss my friends."

I paused at that and nodded slowly. "So you do have something to say." He remained silent as he travelled to his drawers. "I dunno what you want me to do."

"How do I know you ain’t doing something wid this one now?"

I felt the ache in my chest. "So you basically don’t trust me..." He glanced at me before looking away. I laughed in disbelief and sat on the bed. "Well whatever. To be fair I gave you a reason not to trust me. I haven’t done anything since then, though."

"I believe you."

"Do you? What was that phone call about then?"

"It’s easy to get jealous. I see you at training when I’m talking to Sacha."

I kissed my teeth at the mention of her name. That same girl was always ogling Ty when she knew we were together. "That marga bitch needs to hop off your dick," I grumbled.

He grunted. "Point proven."

I rolled my eyes. "Me and Kayden don’t talk like that anymore, and I only recently got back in touch with Drake."

"Mm."

"Stop grunting."

He finally turned to me. "I just don’t want this to fuck up. It’s been a year."

"Yeah I know. I don’t wanna argue. You just need to stop with the accusations. I learned from my mistake already, so if you trust me, we should move on from it."

He sat beside me and exhaled. "Yeah. I trust you Becc’s."

"Do you really? Cos if not we can just stop this now."

He paused momentarily. "Do you trust me?"

"Yeah, course."

"Then I do as well. I don’t wanna argue either. We’ll move on." He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me flush against him. "Sorry."

"It’s alright." I melted into his embrace and he kissed my forehead gently. I smiled at the sentiment and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek.

He gave me a promising look and leaned closer to kiss my lips. My body relaxed and I sighed into the kiss. He pulled away and kissed along my jaw instead, occasionally scraping his teeth along my skin and making me shudder. His hand rested on my thigh and he squeezed gently, digging his nails into my skin.

“That hurts you know,” I muttered with a scowl.

He chuckled lightly and moved me back on the bed so I was lying down. Before I could move he shifted on top of me, hovering over my body with a sensual gleam in his eyes.

I felt wary under that erotic gaze and turned away. “Don’t watch me like that.”

“Why?” he asked quietly, moving his head down to kiss my neck softly.

I breathed deeply and closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of his cushioned lips on my skin. He friggin’ knew my neck was a weak-spot as well!

“Cos I know what that look means,” I answered quietly.

“What does it mean?” he whispered.

“Stop being dumb.”

He laughed and pushed my knee to spread my legs wider. I lay there and allowed him to continue. Part of me didn’t want to, but his soft lips and gentle caressing was slowly changing my mind.

“I like when you’re this way. You and Shanay used to tease me back in the day cos I was shy, and now you’re the one being nervous.”

“Whatever man.”

He trailed his hand down my stomach and kissed along my collarbone. I sighed and watched the ceiling, not fully aware of what he was doing anymore. My body reacted, but my mind was distant for some reason. I felt detached from my very being, somewhat unconscious. This had never happened before; not with Tyreece, not with Kayden...not even with Leon.

He paused and I felt his eyes on me. “Don’t you want to?”

I didn’t answer.

He watched me for a couple seconds, trying to read my expression. I kept my face neutral. He simply continued, running a strong hand over my ribs until he reached my breast. He squeezed gently and my body shuddered. I shut my eyes and felt my thighs quiver.

"Are you on it?" I shrugged and heard his light chuckle. “Just tell me if you’re not. We don’t have to.”

“I dunno,” I grumbled, still feeling empty inside.

He dipped his head to kiss my neck again. “Just relax then, yeah?”

I nodded and watched as he descended the bed slowly, caressing my clothed body as he went. He reached my crotch and unzipped my jeans, pulling them down while maintaining eye contact. I stared into those lustful eyes and felt a tingle in my stomach.

He managed to drag my jeans off and smiled at me knowingly, diving down to kiss between my thighs. My body shuddered again and I breathed heavily. It was as if every touch left me hypersensitive, shivering in ecstasy at the smallest thing. I still felt hollow inside, but my body had a mind of its own.

I jolted when he began to touch me through my knickers. Using his middle finger, he pressed on my clit and my thighs tensed. He looked up at me and pulled my knickers down, still keeping up that penetrating gaze. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his. My chest was tightening and my stomach was knotted with excitement.

Soft kisses to my lower belly and thighs made me sigh. He was teasing me on purpose, taking his time while reeling me in little by little. He knew what he was doing to me. Although my mind and body were detached, every nerve in my body craved for this.

“Do you still not want to?” he breathed on my thighs.

“I do.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“If you’re just saying that-...”

“Shut up and eat me Ty,” I growled through gritted teeth. I looked him dead in the eye and saw how amused he was.

He bent his head and got to work, licking the whole length of me with a flat tongue. I lost it right there already, shuddering at the familiar sensation. He alternated between licks and kisses, occasionally teasing my clit with the flick of his warm tongue.

I reacted stronger than usual, cursing under my breath and moving my hips to match the pace of his tongue. Ravenous kisses caused my back to arch off the bed. I hissed through my teeth and shivered.

“Ty...”

He continued, using the tip of his tongue to tease my hole and making me moan. I stirred about on the bed, unable to control myself. He quickly reached for my wrists and clutched them firmly, restricting my movement.

“Keep still,” he whispered.

I squirmed on the bed and began to whine. “Don’t stop, Tyreece.”

He resumed, swirling his tongue around my clit teasingly slow. I panted and attempted to grip the sheets, but Ty’s firm clutch on my wrists prevented me from moving. He had practically caged me in. I took the time to open my eyes and witness his head bobbing between my thighs. The sight excited me even more and I wriggled around in desperation.

“Let go Ty,” I panted.

He shook his head and I bit my lip. Every motion his head made was working his tongue even more. I could only lie there and revel in the feel of his slippery moist tongue working its way around my vaginal walls. It was amazing, better than the other times. I tried to keep my groans to a minimum, scared that Zion would walk in and see his brother going down on me. Knowing Ty, he would simply keep going, blaming Zion for not knocking in the first place.

His tongue was persistent, and I squeezed my eyes shut when I felt the pit of my stomach tense. My legs shook and my hips twitched at the heightening sensation. Time seemed to slow down, but Ty did not release my wrists. The more I tried to pull away, the stronger his grasp became. I was trapped in his hold, forced to endure this torturous pleasure.

My hands were numb, my body was jolting with immense desire, and my head was spinning. I could no longer feel my fingers; Ty’s grappling hold was cutting all circulation to my hands, but I didn’t care. I was writhing on the bed, cursing loudly, grinding my hips into his face, squirming against his tongue, breathing hard. My emotions were churning, threatening to bubble up and overwhelm me.

Tears came to my eyes and I sighed. “Ty...Tyreece... Fucking hell,” I moaned breathlessly.

He licked and sucked, still clasping my wrists hard, unwilling to let go. I rode his tongue and felt the tightening in my belly.

“No...shit! Ty s-stop...stop! Mmmh, Tyyy!”

I felt a spritz of liquid on my thighs and released a long groan. I waited for the intense feeling to end. My body trembled as I came down from my euphoric high, still jolting occasionally.

His head emerged, and I saw the evidence of my arousal glistening on his chin. He licked along his bottom lip and looked at me. “Are you alright?”

I ignored him, focusing on my breathing instead and trying to gather my scattered thoughts. He released my wrists and I felt the blood return to my cold hands and numb fingers.

He lay next to me and moved the hair out of my eyes as I tried to calm down. My heart was still racing and my thighs continued to shake. I didn’t even cum, but I had squirted, which was the only thing Kayden could make me do.

“Becc’s?”

I ignored him again, looking down to his crotch instead. The stiff bulge in his tracksuit told me exactly how he was feeling. I reached my hand down to the hard length and he paused to watch me.

“Let me take care of this for you.”

*

The following week I was stuck at work with Javon. The atmosphere wasn’t as lively as it usually was, since it was still early and not many customers were about. I decided to occupy my time by cleaning tables and mopping up spilled coffee on the floor from the previous day. I just wanted this damn shift to be over.

“I spoke to Stacey yesterday.”

I looked up at Javon who had stopped scrubbing at the counter to make a hot drink for himself instead.

“How is she?” I asked.

He shrugged. “She’s alright, been looking after her little sister and that. She reckons she’s coming down next week.”

“Aww, that’s nice. You can’t wait to see her init?”

He quickly looked away to tend to the machine. I laughed at how easily embarrassed he was.

"You’re so cute, Jav."

"Allow me," he grumbled.

I continued to tease him until I felt a vibration in my pocket. Dashing the mop aside, I answered the private call.

“I’m at work so make this quick please.”

“Becc’s...?”

I froze in place. My heart thumped wildly at the familiar voice. “Chanel?”

She sighed in relief. “Shit, I thought I had the wrong number.”

I couldn’t move. After my work friend had vanished out of sight a good few weeks ago, here she was calling me out of the blue. To hear her voice again, after losing contact with her for so long, really made my eyes widen in shock.

“Where are you?” I quickly asked.

“At home.”

I breathed heavily at this revelation. If Chanel was back at home, then that means she somehow managed to escape Marik. Either that, or Kayden’s friends managed to find him and release her. None of this really made sense to me, but I was determined to find out what the hell went down.

“I’m coming.”

She paused. “Aren’t you at work?”

“Fuck work. I’ll be there in ten.” I hung up before she could say otherwise and dragged off my cap and apron to hang them up. Javon was watching me the whole time.

“Was that really Chanel?”

I nodded and began to fix my clothes. “I’m heading out. Can you cover for me?”

He nodded dutifully. I thanked him and hastily left before Mr Smith could notice. I rushed down the street, still buttoning up my coat and tying my hair back. My mind was trying to gather what was going on. Chanel sounded so casual over the phone, as if she hadn’t gone through some kind of turmoil. I began to wonder if she really was in danger all these weeks.

I caught the bus and arrived at her house in less than ten minutes. I rang the doorbell and waited in anticipation.

The door opened slowly and I took in Chanel’s appearance. She was stood there, clasping the door handle cautiously. My eyes quickly scanned her body for any signs of injury before flicking back up to her face. Surprisingly she looked...normal. No bruises, no swollen eyelids...no nothing.

Then my eyes caught the scab near her eyebrow. It was small but noticeable, and it made me scowl.

I realised I had been staring at her silently for a few seconds, and quickly rushed forward to hug her.

“Don’t scare me like that again,” I muttered into her shoulder.

She patted my back and sighed, shutting the door behind me. “Sorry. It’s been a mad week.”

I pulled away. “When did you get back?”

“Just yesterday.”

I rested against the door, trying to sort out my muddled thoughts. Then I gave her a questioning look. “What the fuck happened, Chanel?”

She clutched at her dressing grown and nodded towards her bedroom door, signalling me to follow her. We got into the room and she shut the door. I sat on the bed with her and noticed how oddly she was acting. Her gaze seemed distant and her hair looked a mess, not that I could really blame her. Chanel’s whole persona had changed somehow. She seemed withdrawn and distracted, constantly grabbing her gown and keeping her head low.

I quickly scoped her room, taking in the scattered clothes and empty mugs before facing her again. By now Chanel was rested against the headboard with her chin on her knees as she hugged her legs.

“Chanel...” Her tired eyes slowly glanced up at me. “You need to tell me everything,” I demanded.

She began to bite her nails; something I had never seen her do before. “I dunno where to start,” she muttered.

“What about when that bastard took you?”

She grumbled something and gave a long sigh. “He wasn’t anything big. I would’ve taken him on if he wasn’t with the other two.”

“What other two?”

“I don’t know who they were, but I was put in a car and the prick drove off.”

I frowned at hearing that. “Where did they take you?”

She rested her head back and closed her eyes, as if trying to remember the whole ordeal. “We were in the car for time. I don’t remember exactly where, but it was a massive abandoned building on the outskirts.” She opened her eyes and looked right at me. “I wasn’t the only girl there.”

I raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“There were other girls in the building, all locked in one room, and...”

Hearing something like that disturbed me. I couldn’t believe it. I noticed she had drifted off, so I leaned in. “Chanel? Are you alright?”

She nodded.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

I swallowed hard. “How many girls?”

She started biting her nails again. “I didn’t count. More than five. They were probably taken like I was. I didn’t speak to any of them.”

I sat further back on the bed, making sure to face her directly with my legs crossed. My mind was jumbled with so many questions that I wanted to ask, but I could barely speak. “Did they do anything to you?”

She shook her head. “Just asked me questions. I didn’t tell them anything so they kept me in that room.”

I breathed deeply, dreading this next question. “So they didn’t...touch you or anything?”

Her brows tensed. “Fuck no. All they did was chat shit.”

“What about the cut on your eyebrow?”

“That was there already.”

“Thank God.” My heart slowed in relief. I wouldn’t have known what to do if Chanel was molested. Something like that would be very hard to deal with. I noticed she continued to bite her nails so I grabbed onto her hands and held them down firmly. “What did they look like? Describe them to me.”

“Why? So you can tell the feds?”

I raised a brow. “Obviously. These pricks should be in jail.”

“There’s no need, Becc’s.”

My eyes narrowed at that and I felt anger bubble within me. No need? “Are you being serious?”

She grasped onto my hands and looked me dead in the eye. “I wasn’t stuck in that room for long. There was one point when I heard things crashing and a few screams, then these other boys came in to help me.”

I was confused for a moment, and then the realisation hit me. “Was one of them light-skinned with a mini afro?”

She tilted her head in suspicion. “How did you know?”

My eyes widened. Christian. Kayden’s friend... He managed to find her and bring her out of that madness, just like Kayden had promised me. I fell forward, resting my head on her lap, already close to tears. I couldn’t believe that Chanel was lucky enough to have Christian’s help, and the rest of Kayden’s friends. If they weren’t there to get her out, she would’ve still been trapped in that room, being terrorised by Marik and his boys.

My head shot up. “What happened to the rest of them?”

“I dunno. Didn’t see them again after that. I was put in a blacked-out car and driven back to London.”

“Are the girls still there?”

She frowned and gave a shrug.

I shut my eyes and squeezed her hands. Being able to see Chanel again had me overwhelmed. Anything else could’ve happened to her. She could have been in greater danger, but thanks to Kayden, she was safe in her home again. Chanel was much older than me, but as a friend, I was really worried for her. Being caught up with someone as dangerous as Marik was a life risk. If something happened to her...

“Don’t cry,” she muttered.

“I’m not,” I sniffed. Bringing my head back up, I stared at her face, trying to read her expression. “Do you know how fucking scared I was?”

She sighed and looked out the window. “So was I.”

It fell silent after that. I had calmed down and was analysing Chanel’s hands. She had bitten her nails so much to the point where she had none left. Chanel loved to groom herself; always got the finest clothes, hairstyles and fresh nails every other week, and her eyebrows were always on point. Now though, she looked a mess. It was completely understandable, but I was still concerned.

“I wasn’t gonna call you,” she said out of the blue. “But I had to.”

“Damn right you had to. I probably would’ve come to check for you anyway.”

She smiled sadly and then her eyebrows tensed. “I called for a reason, Becc’s.” I raised an eyebrow and she turned to me. “I’m worried for you.”

I blinked at her. Chanel was the one who had gone through capture and humiliation after being trapped in a room for almost two weeks...but she was worried for me?

“Why?”

“The only reason they took me is because they thought I was you.”

My heartbeat echoed in my ears and my throat became dry. Suddenly my mind was blank. I start at her, not fully understanding. “What the fuck?” I muttered quietly. “Are you sure?”

She sat up and pulled down the collar of her dressing gown, exposing the purple-red bruise on her collarbone. “This is what that dickhead prick done when I refused to tell him where you lived.”

I stared at the painful, blotchy mark and shivered. “You said they didn’t touch you though,” I croaked.

“They only grabbed me a couple times. They didn’t try to rape me or anything.”

The discoloured mark made me cringe. “Did Marik do that?”

She covered herself up again and gave me an odd look. “You obviously know these lot, but they don’t know you. That’s why I was mistaken for you, cos we work at the same place and apparently we look alike.” She looked down at her nails and began to pick at them. “When I told them my name wasn’t Rebecca they started asking questions. I lied and said I didn’t know you, so they got vex and grabbed me.” Her eyes shifted to me cautiously. “Who’s Marik?”

I remained frozen with wide eyes. My brain couldn’t process any of this. It was now becoming clear that I was the one to blame for Chanel’s trauma. But why the hell was I the one being targeted?

Suddenly, Kayden’s words from before came to mind...

“They’re probably after a girl for something. It’s clear they know her occupation, but not sure of what she looks like, which is why they’re random attacks. If the girl was definitely known, she would’ve been taken by now.”

My throat dried up and my breathing quickened. It was beginning to dawn on me.

Marik was the one behind all this. I was the girl he wanted. Kayden’s ex-friends work for that sick prick, so one of them must’ve been the one to take Chanel and bring her to him. They obviously didn’t take the time to look at her face; otherwise they would’ve known that it wasn’t me.

But why? What did Marik want from me?

“I don’t know Marik,” I answered. “I only know some of them. But I don’t know why they’re doing this.”

None of this made sense. What did the rest of the girls stuck in that room have to do with me? Were they mistaken for me as well? That would be dumb, not every single girl could look like me.

I was busy wracking my brain for any possible answers, but nothing came to mind. I’ve never met Marik before, all I knew is that Kayden used to do his dirty bidding. Money, sex, drugs, illegal dealership...Kayden was exposed to all of these things at the tender age of fourteen. He made it clear that he’s no longer working under Marik’s wing anymore. Still, what the hell does this have to do with me?

“What did they say about me?” I asked quietly.

Chanel began biting her nails again. “There was this one girl who was with them all the time. I think she had something to do with it. She kept saying that she wanted you gone, and that she didn’t pay them for nothing.”

I bolted up. “What?” So there was a girl behind this as well? And she...paid them? Did she pay them to get rid of me?

What girl could possibly have a grudge against me?

I jolted when I realised something. I’ve done a lot of things I weren’t proud of; stabbing Leon was one of them. But this wasn’t about him. I definitely knew the culprit was female, so I could easily guess who they were. Shanay and Olivia. I had caused them some grief in the past. I threw Olivia in the dustbin for fuck sake!

“What did she look like?” I asked Chanel.

“I only ever saw the back of her head. She was definitely black though, with curly brown hair.”

I frowned at that. Shanay was blessed with kinky brown hair that just passed her shoulders. From what I can remember, Olivia had similar hair as well. I still didn’t know who it was.

I felt Chanel’s penetrative gaze. “Who the fuck are you involved with?”

I shook my head and brushed my hair back, feeling incredibly stressed by this new information. “There’s always someone out to get me, to be honest. Kinda used to it.” I turned to her and realised her eyes were still focused on me. “Thanks for telling me, Chan.”

She looked worried. “What you gonna do?”

“I dunno yet. I’m not letting this bitch get away with it, though.”

“Do you know who it could be?”

I nodded but decided not to say anything. I leaned forward and hugged her gently. She rubbed my back and I heard her sigh. “Sorry you got caught up in this.”

“Mm. You owe me for this. Might have to get surgery so I’m not mistaken for you again.”

I smiled weakly and pulled away. “Trust me, this won’t happen again. I’m gonna get it sorted.” I frowned, now feeling extremely guilty. “I’m sorry though.”

“Stop apologising.”

“Do you want me to stay for a bit?”

She shrugged awkwardly. “You should be getting back to work.”

“Nah, Javon’s covering for me.” I stood up and began picking up her clothes off the floor. I could feel Chanel’s eyes on my back.

“What are you doing?”

“Tidying your room. I know you hate mess.”

She smiled appreciatively and relaxed as I folded her clothes and put them back in the wardrobe. I picked up the empty mugs and plates then headed for the kitchen.

“What do you wanna eat?” I asked as I left the room.

“You don’t have to cook for me,” I heard her call back.

I ignored her and washed all the dishes and mugs. Chanel lived on her own, but most times her man would come round and stay with her a few nights at a time, then she would go to his. I briefly wondered if he knew about her ordeal, but knowing Chanel, she would be too proud to tell him. When I was done washing up I checked the state of her fridge to see only butter, bread and milk. The freezer wasn’t saying much either. I managed to find oven pizza and wings.

“Pizza and wings?” I called to her.

“Alright.”

She sounded tired and weak, which made me feel even more remorseful. It was because of me that Chanel went through that shit. The least I could do was stay with her for a few hours and make sure she was properly okay. Even if she didn’t insist, I was going to keep her company. I owed it to her.

Then when the time comes, I’ll deal with Marik and that bitch myself.

*

It was late afternoon when Uncle Clayton prepared to leave with Claycia and Diamond. They had already placed their luggage in the car and were saying their goodbyes before heading to the airport. Diamond was the last to get in the car; she was too busy clinging onto me and refusing to let go of my cardigan.

“I’m gonna miss you, Becc’s.”

I smiled weakly and ruffled her bushy hair. “Me too. But we’ll always talk on the phone.” I heard her sniff and gave her a stern look before she started to cry. This wasn’t the end for us; I would be seeing her again soon so it didn’t make sense for her to start bawling now. I kissed her on the forehead and smiled. “You should hurry up and get in the car before they leave you.”

“I wanna stay wit you. I don’t care if they leave me.”

“We can hear you,” Claycia muttered from inside the car.

I laughed and opened the car door for Diamond. She climbed inside and I turned to dad in the drivers seat as he wound the window down.

“I’m going to drop them off and come straight back. Shouldn’t take too long.” Then his face turned serious. “Watch Andre while I’m gone.”

I rolled my eyes. “He’s 15 years old, why am I watching him?”

“Something weird is going on with that boy. Me and him need to have a few words when I get back. Just make sure he doesn’t leave the house.”

I rolled my eyes. “Alright.”

“Bye Becc’s!”

I noticed Diamond waving at me through the other window and waved back. “Bye Diamond. Bye Claycia. Bye Uncle.”

“Becca! Yuh tun into ah sweet likkle princess. Mi nuh waan no man fi mess wih yuh. Nuh chat to no bwoidem while mi garn.”

“I don’t talk to any boys, uncle,” I said with a nervous laugh.

“But isn’t Tyreece your boyfriend?” Claycia asked.

My eyes widened and Uncle Clayton suddenly screwed. I saw a vein throb in his temple and quickly looked at dad.

“Drive dad. Drive.”

“See you later,” he said before swiftly winding the window back up. He hurriedly started the engine and drove off. I saw Uncle Clayton yelling in the car as they sped off down the road, and then noticed Diamond’s hand stick out of the open window to wave at me once again.

“Bye Becca!” I heard her call one last time, then the car turned the corner.

I smiled and began to miss them already. I was getting used to Uncle and the kids staying round, but now that they’re going back to Jamaica, the house is gonna feel weird for a while until we can adjust again.

As soon as I got back inside, I saw Andre sat on the stairs slipping on his Jordan’s.

“They gone?” Kieran asked me, munching on a sandwich as he marched from the kitchen.

“Yeah. Dad will be back soon.”

“How soon?”

“Dunno, couple hours?”

“Calm, then I can smoke in peace.”

I rolled my eyes and felt Andre brush past me. I watched as he approached the coat hooks and picked out his bomber jacket.

“Dad said to stay in the house,” I told him.

“Dad’s not here,” he answered quietly. He slipped on his coat and hat. “I’m going out.”

I raised a brow. “Where to?”

“Don’t worry.”

I laughed loudly. This little boy thinks I’ll stand here and tolerate his behaviour. “I don’t think you understand. You’re not leaving this house. Dad wants to talk to you when he gets back.”

Kieran continued to devour his sandwich. “Let him do his own ting, init.”

“Shut up Kieran. Go catch aids,” I sneered at him with a screw. Andre began to head to the front door and I noticed him push a small plastic bag into his pocket. “Andre, what’s in the bag?”

He turned back to me slowly, and for the first time ever I witnessed a cruel snarl on his face. “Fuck off, Rebecca. Stay out my business.”

I stood there stunned as he opened the door and left, slamming the door loudly. The sound of the slam resonated throughout the house, shaking the walls and rattling the family pictures. I was still frozen in shock and amazement. Andre has never sworn at me before. In all the years I had teased, tortured and bullied him...he never swore once.

Not until today.

And that expression on his face...

“He’s pissed bruv.” Kieran’s words snapped me out of my daze and I continued to stare at the door. “Never seen him like that before.”

It gradually dawned on me that Andre had actually gotten rude to me for no reason at all. I felt the anger swell in my chest as I quickly opened the door and walked out past the gate. The streets were empty at this point and the sky was darkening; there was no sign of him anywhere.

“That little prick.” I stomped back in the house and shut the door hard, walking past Kieran to go upstairs.

“You gonna let him get away with that?” he asked.

“I’ll punch him up when he comes back,” I answered with a screw.

I got to my room and slammed the door, hopping onto the bed feeling pissed off. I hated Andre right now for disrespecting me like that. He was a teenager and I know he had puberty to deal with, but that gives him no right to act that way. I almost wish he didn’t return, so then dad would have to find him and beat him up.

I kissed my teeth and rested my head on the pillow. I decided to think of something else and retrieved my phone from the side. The texts from Ty made me smile, and soon the little drama with Andre was forgotten.

*

It was March 3rd and I felt like complete shit. The weather was horrible, my body was aching from an intense period, and I was constantly reminded of what today signified. I had woken up earlier than usual in order to quickly get ready, despite feeling like crap. I would usually have a lie-in on Sunday’s, but today was an exception.

We ate breakfast at the table as a family for once, but I couldn’t ignore the palpable tension between Andre and Dad. After what happened that day, Dad returned home from the airport to discover Andre left the house. Surprisingly he didn’t blame me; instead he waited for Andre to arrive home. When he did, he was told off, and now he barely left his room.

Today was an exception though.

We ate in silence, listening to the radio instead and occasionally making gestures at each other to pass the salt around. It was a comfortable silence, and we all knew why. Once we were done with our food we thanked Dad and I offered to wash the plates.

“No time,” Dad said, wiping his mouth with a tissue. He drank down the rest of his juice and left the glass on the table. “We’re gonna be late.”

I nodded in understanding and slipped on my cardigan and shoes. It was already midday so we all got in the car and drove to church. Unfortunately there was traffic, so we made small chatter to occupy our time. Kieran and Dad were discussing Kieran’s plans for his first car, while me and Andre remained silent at the back. I glanced over to him but he was texting on his phone. We hadn’t really exchanged any words since he decided to be a prick and swear at me.

I peered out the window instead, watching life slowly trudge by. The rain was beginning to worsen, and I thanked God we weren’t walking to church this time.

“You alright?” Kieran turned to ask me.

“Not really.”

He frowned slightly and faced ahead again. I noticed Dad’s expression in the rear-view mirror. Neither of them said anything. They both understood.

We arrived at church shortly after, earning some looks as we had arrived late. While the sermon was going on, I kept my head low, wishing that today could be different, while saying a small prayer in my head. It had been a while since we went to church as a family...a year to be exact. We only ever go to church in March.

I wasn’t really listening to what was being said, all I could do was fiddle with my clothes and keep my composure. I did see some familiar faces though. A few girls from bible study gave a friendly smile, and I nodded back out of respect. I remembered them from when I was younger, but they barely classified as friends. I wasn’t in the mood to socialise today.

A couple hours later we were back in the car heading home. We were still quiet from the whole ordeal, but I could tell Dad was trying to keep us in high spirits.

“Do you lot want to go Harvester?”

“I don’t mind,” Kieran said with a shrug.

“I’m not hungry,” Andre answered, fiddling with his tie.

“Me either,” I muttered.

Dad sighed and drove home instead. As soon as we stepped in I changed out of my church clothes and into jeans and a fitted blouse. My mind wasn’t focused today. I was surprised that I hadn’t broken down yet. Usually I wouldn’t let my feelings overcome me.

Today was the only exception...

I lay down staring at the ceiling, not really sure what to do with myself at this point. I knew exactly what I had to do, but my brewing emotions were repelling me from leaving the bed. It was an inner battle; trying to force myself to get up, but at the same time staying put so I didn’t have to face the outside world.

There was a knock at the door and I sighed heavily. “Yeah?”

Dad’s head popped through. “Just got a call from work. I need to go to the office.”

I quickly sat up and stared at him. “Didn’t you take the day off?”

He nodded. “Apparently it’s an emergency. All the other workers are off. I’m the only one on-call at the moment.”

“You promised you wouldn’t do any overtime this week. Especially today,” I frowned.

“I know, Becca.”

“We were supposed to go-...”

“I know, I know. Hopefully this job won’t take too long. I could probably get it done in an hour.”

I turned away from him to look out the window. “So I’m going by myself then?”

“Kieran and Andre will be with you.”

“Mm.”

I heard him sigh. “See you later, Becc’s.”

“Bye Dad.”

I heard the door gently close and huffed in frustration. Dad should’ve known to take the day off; it was important, but he chose work instead. Fuck going with Kieran and Andre, I could do this by myself. I’d prefer the privacy anyway.

I got up to put my coat and shoes on. It was just after three, so I was making good time. I could hear Kieran’s vicious music playing from his room, whereas Andre was being as quiet as a mouse. I headed downstairs and was about to leave the house when a sudden feeling of remorse washed over me.

I can’t do this alone. I need someone with me. Not Kieran or Andre though. And if dad isn’t around, then...

I got my phone and called the first name on my call log. It didn’t take long for him to answer. I smiled weakly.

“Hey Ty.”

He panted down the line and took a deep breath. “I can’t talk long, Becc’s. Coach wants me to do another run.”

“Oh. You’re training?”

“Yeah, been here for an hour. Gonna have to make this quick. What’s up?”

I frowned. “I was hoping you’d follow me somewhere, but if you’re busy-...”

“Cool. Chat later.” He hung up and I listened to the dial tone in shock.

It took me a while to process what had just happened. I was hoping Tyreece could sense the tone of my voice and come running; instead he disregarded me and went back to his precious training. Feeling slightly annoyed, I called the second-best option and waited to hear Drake’s voice. Once I heard the voicemail I growled in frustration and hung up. I was hoping he would answer. Someone as cheerful as Drake would definitely make good company, especially on a day like this.

I knew the girls were busy too. Brooklyn was probably busy sucking off Charles’ face, Natalie had a driving lesson, and Grace was planning to have a chat with her mum about the baby. They all respectively wished me good luck for today since they knew what anniversary it was. Since I wouldn’t be seeing them today, I had one last resort...

Kayden parked the car and locked it with his keys. I gestured to the heavy metallic gates leading into the cemetery and he nodded compliantly. We walked through and followed the stoned path leading towards the gravestones. The atmosphere was gloomy as usual, even though it was still daylight. As I glanced around I realised we were alone. I shivered at the bitter wind and pulled my zipper all the way up.

We approached the many headstones and I quivered again. This time it wasn’t the cold.

Today marked the sixth anniversary of my mother’s death.

“Which one’s hers?” Kayden asked quietly.

I pointed my chin towards the one by the far right. What used to be shrouded with colourful flowers was now bare and plain. My guess was that the old flowers had withered away and died. Just goes to show how rarely we came to replace the plants. Looking at her empty grave made my heart twinge. It seemed as if she wasn’t loved at all. I was about to change that, though.

Kayden followed me to the selected grave but kept a distance to allow me some privacy. I crouched down and placed the fresh bouquet of roses by the stone. Now the grave had colour again, and I smiled weakly that I was able to bring some life back to her stone.

“They’re nice,” he mentioned from behind.

I nodded silently in agreement. “Red symbolises love, and white symbolises purity. Perfect set of colours for her.”

He remained silent and allowed me to have a moment to speak to my mother mentally. I felt incredibly guilty for not coming as often as I used to. It’s been just under a year since I’ve visited her grave. I didn’t really have an excuse either. Every time I came here I felt void of all emotion. It was strange that I could sense her presence, even though I knew she wasn’t conscious beneath the earth.

“You know what?” I muttered faintly to Kayden, “My mum’s probably turning in her grave right now. She must be sick of me.” He remained silent, waiting for me to continue. “I’ve been so busy with work lately I haven’t had the time to see her. Sometimes I think it’s an excuse not to come here though. Kieran and Andre visit at least twice a month. I haven’t seen her in ages. She probably thinks I don’t care. I find it hard to connect with someone who isn’t alive anymore. Every time I come here I wonder if it’s worth it.” I hunched my shoulders and dropped my head in defeat. “Does that make me a bad person?”

I heard his footsteps in the grass as he stepped closer, and he crouched beside me.

“Is it alright if I say something?” he questioned softly.

I glanced at him and saw the genuine expression on his face. After some brief hesitation, I nodded. He looked down to the vibrant stone and took a deep breath.

“Hi, Ms Stellon. Rebecca’s told me a lot about you, and I know she respects you a lot. When she told me about today, I wanted to come with her. I know it’s been a while since you’ve seen her, but she does have her reasons. I don’t mean to get too involved but she’s been holding out for a long time, working hard and providing for your family.

“You may not know me, but I thought I’d let you know that you’re the reason Rebecca’s the way she is: strong, independent, proud. A long time ago she told me she wanted to be just like you, so I know you was a good role model. I’m glad that I met Rebecca though. I just wanted to say thank you for bringing her into my life. She’s a good friend. I may have caused her some stress in the past, but hopefully we can move on from that, start fresh, cos she’s important to me, even though I haven’t been showing it. I promise I’ll look after her for you, so you don’t have to worry.”

I smiled weakly and rested my head on his shoulder. “Thank you,” I muttered.

He rubbed my back and nuzzled into my hair. “Your family not coming?”

I shrugged. “Dad’s at work, Kieran’s busy, and Andre is probably out gallivanting somewhere. They’ll come in their own time.”

It was silent for a while until Kayden released a great breath. “This reminds me. I should visit Aunt Tanisha soon.”

I perked up at the mention of her name. That whole situation with his auntie’s death on his eighteenth birthday was such a traumatising experience. I remember how emotionally drained he was. He had changed in that week; refusing to see anyone, easily tense, always frowning. He’s come a long way since then. “How long’s it been now?”

“Nearly a year.” He gave a nostalgic sigh. “I saw her when I first came back though. I’ll go to her grave on my nineteenth.”

“That’s a good idea.”

“You should come with me.”

My eyes widened. “Hm?”

“She always wanted to meet you.”

I couldn’t help but feel bashful and turned away from his gaze. “If you want me to.”

“Yeah, I do. She’d appreciate it as well.”

I nodded and went back to looking at the headstone.

“You reckon your mum and my auntie have met up there yet?” Kayden wondered.

I thought about Tanisha and Mum being friends in heaven and laughed quietly to myself. “Probably.”

We stayed for a little while having small talk, till I decided I wanted to go. I said goodbye to my mum and we gave a little prayer before leaving. Once we got back to the car I strapped myself in.

“Thanks for this.”

“Its cool.” He started the car and I felt relaxed in the warm seat. “Got anything planned for today?”

“Not really. Have you?”

“Nah. Just gotta prepare for work tomorrow. I’m doing a placement in a primary school teaching P.E to year 4’s.”

“Oh, that’s good.”

The car was beginning to warm up quickly. I shivered at the change in temperature and rested back as he began to drive. He played his Lovers Rock CD and let the music play quietly in the background.

“I saw Chanel a couple days ago,” I mentioned. His eyes quickly slid over to me before focusing back on the road. “Tell Christian I said thank you.”

Kayden remained silent for a few seconds, then he mumbled, “Yeah, I will.”

“But it was really down to you. So thank you as well.” I laughed at how soppy I sounded. “I actually can’t thank you enough.”

“It’s fine, Rebecca. As long as your friend is alright now.”

“Yeah, she’s doing fine.” I hesitated for a bit, wondering if I should even ask, but my curiosity quickly won. “Do you know what happened that day?”

His eyes continued to face forward. “What d’you mean?”

“With Christian and Marik. Did they go all out? Was anyone shot or...?”

He chuckled lightly at that. “I don’t know any more than you do. Chris told me they got your friend back and that’s it. He’s too scared to work a gun as well, so nah...no one got shot.”

“Oh.”

“I’m gonna bell him later and see what he’s saying. I still don’t know what went down.”

I nodded absentmindedly. I was hoping to hear that something bad had happened to Marik, that way this bullshit could end and no one else would have to get hurt. As we drove in peaceful silence, I debated with myself whether I should tell Kayden about what Chanel had told me earlier.

“The only reason they took me is because they thought I was you.”

The thought of Kayden reacting badly to that and going on a hunt for Marik swiftly changed my mind. We were at a calm place right now. I didn’t want to ruin it. I would rather tell him another time and spend the rest of the day focusing on my mum.

Just then, the song changed to something slower and Kayden turned the dial.

“Remember this tune?”

I heard a female voice and raised a brow. “Nah, not really.”

“It’s Alaine and Chris Martin.” He turned it even louder and gave me a lingering look. “Listen to the lyrics.”

I shrugged and decided to listen. They were obviously Reggae artists, but I had no idea this song even existed. Dad played Lovers Rock every Sunday through the surround-sound speakers, so I’ve grown up with this music. But still...I’ve never heard this one before. Or maybe my ears were so used to it that they’ve blocked out all similar tunes.

Hearing the chorus made my heart race.

Are you still in love, still in love,

Are you still in love, still in love,

Are you still in love, still in love,

Are you still in love with me?

Still in love, still in love,

I was wondering if you was still in love with me,

Cos I’m still in love with you.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked out the window to prevent Kayden from seeing my expression.

“You like it?”

My heart was still pounding. I wasn’t sure if he purposely played it to get his message across, or if he genuinely liked the song. It was hard to tell at this point, and my thudding heartbeat rang in my ears, throbbing violently in my chest.

“It’s alright,” I answered warily.

He said nothing else, and soon we were driving down my road getting closer to home. Kayden had switched to Kendrick Lamar at this point and the speakers were pulsating under the loud base of the music.

“I wanna hear Kanye before I get out.”

As expected, Kayden’s eyes narrowed, and his lip twisted in a scowl as he parked by the curb. He turned the music down slightly and glared at me. “We don’t mention that name in this car.”

I laughed at his hatred for Kanye and grabbed my bag from the backseat. “It’s been a year, just let it go.”

“No. I dunno what Kim sees in him.”

“Are you jealous?”

“Not really. They probably deserve each other. Couldn’t care about either of them.”

I smiled and leaned over to give him a brief hug. He managed to keep my spirits up during my visit to the grave, he was there for me as a friend, and for that I was thankful. “I really appreciate this.”

He gently patted my back. “I hope you’re feeling okay.”

“I am.” I pulled back and smiled weakly. “I need to tell you something but I’ll call you later.”

He raised a brow. “Why not now?”

“Now's really not the time.”

Kayden nodded but his eyes caught onto something behind me and he began to stare. At first I thought he was daydreaming, but I realised he was actually focusing hard on something.

“What? What are you looking...?” I faced the same direction to see Tyreece standing by the front of my house. He was dressed in his sports-wear, watching the two of us in Kayden’s car, carrying a profound screw on his face.

My heart sank.