Becca
I opened my eyes and winced at the throbbing headache pulsing in my skull. It took a while to adjust to the light, but after rubbing my eyes I saw Kayden in my vision, startling me and making me jolt.
“Afternoon,” he said casually.
I analysed him, wondering what he was doing in my room. He was dressed up, sat at the edge of the bed looking at his phone. I was confused for a moment, ready to ask him why he was here, until I remembered fragments of the night before. I decided not to say anything.
“How you feelin’?”
“Like shit,” I grumbled, rubbing my temple.
“You had it coming.” I frowned at that tone and he reached beside him. “Here.” He handed me a glass of water with some Anadin tablets.
I sat up slowly. “Thanks,” I mumbled, taking a sip. I sighed and stared ahead blankly, trying to think of what the hell happened yesterday. Some parts were fuzzy; all I remember is going to club, having fun, and then Kayden picking me up. Then we were in bed together, but I must’ve fallen asleep, I dunno. “Sorry for putting you through that last night.”
“We all make mistakes,” he assured me.
“Mm.” The throbbing headache was becoming excessive. I winced at the pain.
“Take the painkillers,” he ordered. “You forgot you suffer with migraines and then you wanted to get hung-over on top of that.”
I gulped a couple down quickly. Kayden had every right to scold me. He was correct as well. I’d been getting bad migraines over the past couple weeks—probably due to stress—but I still decided to get drunk off my head. “I can’t believe you stayed,” I croaked.
“I must be a dickhead.”
“I’m one too. Especially since I actually planned to get drunk last night. Usually I don’t do that.”
“What made you do it this time?”
I fell silent for a moment.
“Tyreece?”
I glanced at him and quickly looked away. Maybe I must have mentioned it to him last night, but I couldn’t be too sure. He could’ve taken a wild guess, but my reaction made it obvious now. I recalled the pain I felt from Ty’s words. I wanted to forget all about him, erase all the memories we shared together. Drinking was the fastest way to do that, but it was at the expense of my own wellbeing. Now I just feel dead.
“We don’t have to talk about it,” Kayden ensured.
I huffed and drank some more water. “I’m never drinking again.”
“You say that now.” I frowned and he smiled gently before standing up. “I’m gonna take off.”
“Already?”
“I got a P.E session to teach at 2:30.”
“What time is it?”
He looked at his watch. “2.”
I blinked dumbly. “You’re gonna be late.”
Kayden shrugged. “They’re just gonna have to wait on me.”
“But if you get in trouble it’ll be my fau—”
“Nah, it’ll be mine. I chose to stay. Don’t worry about it.”
I watched as he slid his trainers on and felt warmness in my chest. Just having him here watching over me was comforting in a way. It was odd to think that just last month we didn’t even talk. Now we’re civil, and it surprised me that he still cared, even after what we’d been through and how I treated him afterwards.
He stood up and put on his hat. “See you later,” he said before heading to the door.
“Kayden...”
He paused to look at me, and the words died in my mouth when our eyes connected. I knew what I wanted to say, but it would be extremely selfish at a time like this.
“Thank you.”
He gave a placid smile and nodded a farewell before leaving. I heard his hefty footsteps and the front door closing seconds later, and then collapsed on my bed again.
Please stay...
That’s what I would’ve said—what I wanted to say—but I had no right to. I didn’t deserve his gratitude right now. I couldn’t help but feel like I’d disappointed him somehow, but I honestly couldn’t recall last night.
There was a knock on the door and Kieran’s head popped through. “Kayden gone?”
I gave a brief nod.
“Are you two back together now?”
I raised a brow. “No.”
“You two looked comfortable in bed when I came in here this morning.”
I swallowed hard and wondered how that must have looked. Kieran respected Kayden, a lot more than Tyreece, so I knew he wouldn’t have minded if he started staying here again. He sounded almost hopeful that we would end up back together, but that wasn’t the best move right now, especially with how shit I’ve been feeling these past couple days.
“He was only looking out for me,” I told him.
Kieran nodded and checked his watch. “I’m heading to work now.”
“Is Andre home?”
“In his room I think.” He put his cap on. “See you later.”
“Yeah, bye.”
Kieran left and I slowly sat up, trying to ignore the pounding migraine throbbing in my skull. Every ounce of light was affecting my head right now. Even blinking was painful. Hopefully the painkillers would kick in soon.
I headed to the bathroom to pee. After relieving myself and washing my hands I looked in the mirror to analyse my face. My own reflection stunned me. My eyes were bloodshot and I had bags, but that was about it. It was my overall appearance that was shocking though. I looked like I’d been freshly dug up from the grave. How did Kayden even cope with looking at me just now? No wonder he was disgusted.
Then my eyes caught something.
Reddened skin and various teeth marks on my neck.
I paused in confusion and felt the marks on my skin. It wasn’t painful, but I was conscious of it. The marks were all over my neck and collarbone, and I stiffened as a memory came flooding back to me...
“K-Kiss me on my...here. On my collarbone, like you used to do...”
“Rebecca...”
“Kiss me there, Kayden...”
“You really do piss me off.”
“Aaahhh...G-God...”
“What would Tyreece say about this?”
“N...Nothing. Not wiv him.”
My eyes widened and my heart thumped. Did that really happen? Did I seriously coax Kayden into kissing me last night? Well the marks were there to prove it, since I honestly couldn’t remember. It almost seemed like a dream, but now that part of my memory was so vivid, it would have to be real.
I swallowed hard. I could almost feel those lips on my skin now, and my body shuddered at the memory.
Then harsher words came to mind.
“I don’t know what happened between you and Tyreece, but if you’re just looking to spite him, then I’m not involved.”
“You can’t use me to get back at your man. What the fuck do I look like?”
“When you’re actually sure about what...who you want...then tell me.”
“I don’t want to see you in this state again.”
I stared at the marks again, caressing them as the stern words rang in my ears, annoyed with myself that I would even do that to him. No wonder Kayden was so off with me; I toyed with him last night for my own pleasure. I moved away from the mirror and went back to my room just in time to see my phone flashing on the bed. I saw the caller ID and answered.
“Hey Nat.”
“About time, ya drunk bitch.”
I groaned and fell back on the bed. “Please don’t.”
She chuckled. “If only you knew how you behaved last night.”
“I can’t remember.”
“Not surprised. It was still joke though, I’m not gonna lie. At least you had a good time.”
I swallowed through the pain of a sore throat and shut my eyes to ease the intense migraine. “I don’t feel good.”
“Hung-over?”
“Mm.”
“Did Kayden take care of you?” I heard the underlying tone in her voice and sighed.
“He dropped me home and that was it.”
“Bullshit! Don’t try it, Rebecca. I know he stayed over.”
“How would you know?”
“Cos by the way he acted yesterday, he wasn’t gonna leave you by yourself.”
“Whatever. Yeah, he stayed here.”
Suddenly Brooklyn’s voice was heard in the background. “I knew it! So what happened?”
I felt the mark on my neck again. “...Nothing.”
“Bullshit!” Natalie yelled again.
“Shut up. He stayed over and left early.”
Brooklyn laughed. “We’re joking Becca. You wouldn’t do that to Ty.”
My chest tightened at the mention of his name. Neither of them had a clue about the situation yet, and to be fair...I didn’t know myself. There was no point telling them until everything was cleared up properly first.
I grunted, “Yeah.”
“I’ve never seen Kayden pissed before,” Natalie said with a quiet whistle.
I remembered his scolding words from last night and sighed. “Never again, guys. I’m not drinking for a while.”
“There’s nothing wrong with drinking, you just need to know your limit,” Brooklyn reasoned in that stern motherly way.
“Mm. I’m gonna get a shower so I’ll talk to you guys later.”
“Alright dancehall queen.”
I kissed my teeth at Natalie’s teasing voice. “Go away.”
She laughed and hung up. I rolled over onto my stomach, but quickly sat up when I felt nauseous again. Drinking the pain away was the worst fucking idea I’ve ever had. No more alcohol would touch my lips for a very long time. Maybe once I’m finally over Tyreece I could toast to a better life and drink some really expensive champagne, but for now, I needed to sober up properly and get my life back on track. I rolled over and grabbed my towel, heading to the bathroom to take on the rest of the day.
The following day I met up with Drake. He decided a Monday morning would be perfect for yet another piercing. Mellow Indie pop music played in the background as Drake relaxed in his seat, still trying to make conversation while the body-piercer stuck a needle through his face.
“Howsh yer lu-ife?” he gargled through an opened mouth.
I looked up from the Tattoo magazine with a raised brow. “Hm?”
The heavily-tatted man pulled away and allowed Drake to speak properly. “Your love-life. What’s the 411?”
“Oh.” I cleared my throat awkwardly and shuffled in the sofa before looking around. The tattoo studio was practically empty, save for the rugged white man sat by the desk picking his teeth and the other one that assaulted Drake’s cheek. He was too focused on his task to really care about what I had to say anyway. I gave a light shrug in response. “Kinda shit right now.”
Drake gave a questioning look, his mouth now occupied again and unable to form coherent words. His eyes practically screamed Tell me!
“It’s Tyreece again,” I muttered. I went right into it, leaving off from our last issue; explaining the altercation between him and Kayden on my mum’s anniversary, and the distance he kept from me afterwards. Then I briefly spoke about going to Ty’s big race only to see him groping Sacha, and the dreaded conversation between them that still haunted me:
“Are you two not together anymore?”
“...dunno.”
I sighed when I was done, now looking out the window to avoid Drake’s judging eyes.
“He’s a prick bruv,” I heard him say.
I smiled weakly at that. For some reason, I expected him to cuss me instead.
“Nah, forreal Becc’s, is he dumb?”
My eyes continued to watch the streets outside. “I think I’m the dumb one here.”
“You’re not. Far from.”
It took me a moment to realise he was talking properly again, and I turned to see the body-piercer wiping blood off Drake’s cheek. The shiny silver stud was now in place.
“He definitely needs to get fucked up,” Drake suggested casually, not even affected by the new bloody piercing.
“Wait...didn’t that hurt?” I asked.
“Oh, is it done?” He looked up at the worker, who gave a curt nod and grabbed a mirror to show his face. Drake angled his head to see the piercing properly. “Rah. Sick.” Then he looked at me. “I’ve had a lot of piercings. I’m immune to the pain now.”
“Just...wow.”
He laughed and winced. “Kinda sore though, but I just won’t smile for a couple days.” I rolled my eyes and he stood up to spud the piercer. “Safe for that man.”
“No problem. Remember to cleanse with salt water when you get home. We don’t need another infection.”
“Infection?” I questioned, eyeing Drake. “Another?”
He simply chuckled and winced at the pain in his cheek. “Eyebrow piercing when I was 16,” he explained. “I didn’t treat it properly and there was puss everywhere. Shit got messy.”
My eyes widened and the man chuckled.
“Please look after it this time,” he said, dragging off his vinyl gloves.
“What happens if it’s not cleaned?” I asked.
The man scratched his curly blond hair. “These kinda piercings have a tendency to leak or secret lymph fluid, but-...”
“Naaah, I ain’t tryna hear that.” Drake firmly shook his head.
The body-piercer laughed and continued, “but the risk of infection isn’t as high as other facial piercings.”
I nodded slowly and Drake suddenly gasped.
“Oi, since we’re here, you might as well get yours done.”
I cautiously looked at him. “What?”
“Your nips.” He waggled his brows.
I blinked at him for a few seconds and then it dawned on me that we actually did discuss this on our last outing. I remember asking Drake to escort me to a studio for a nipple piercing, and he had eagerly agreed. Now we were actually here, it would make sense to follow through.
“Might as well. If I don’t do it now, I never will.”
Drake grinned. “That’s the spirit.” He quickly turned to the worker. “Ey boss, how much for nipple piercings?”
“One or both?”
Drake gave me a questioning look.
“Both,” I answered.
“Twenty-five pounds.”
“You got anyone booked for the next hour?” Drake asked.
“Nah, I got time.” The man glanced at me. “She’ll just need to fill in a couple forms and then we’re good to go.”
“Perfect.” He faced me with the same wild grin and snaked his arm around me. “Let’s go withdraw some money.”
I laughed and we left the studio. Drake led me to a nearby cashpoint and I retrieved my card.
“Can’t believe I’m doing this,” I grumbled to myself as I shoved my card in.
“Be proud, Becc’s. You’re on my wave now. Soon you’ll get your nose and belly pierced, and these...” Drake stuck his tongue out to reveal two silver piercings in a row. He wriggled and curled his tongue and I cringed.
“I’ll never get that much.”
“You say that now.” He gave a wink.
“Why do you even need two?”
“Better for when my tongue is in pussy.”
“Drake!”
He blinked. “What? You asked.”
“Fuck sake,” I muttered, quickly pressing the buttons on the machine.
I could feel his eyes on me as I waited for my money. “No wonder you’ve been so quiet today.”
I glanced at him. “Not really...”
“You have. You’re not the same anymore, Becc’s. What happened to that loud, insane girl that cussed everyone and had banter with me?”
I smiled weakly. “Do you really want that girl back?”
“Yeah, she was fun.”
I took the money and put my card away. We made our way back to the studio and I released a heavy sigh. “I can’t be her anymore, Drake. That girl caused so much drama for everyone, so I had to change to make things better.”
“Change is usually meant to be a good thing,” he countered.
“This is a good thing. I changed so I could make people happy.”
“But are you happy?”
That stunned me into silence, and I looked down at the pavement.
“Thought so. You shouldn’t change for other people’s sake.”
“Not just them. I’m trying to better myself as well.”
He grunted. “No more Shubdi and Punjib then?”
A small laugh slipped out. “Let’s just stick to Becc’s and Drake.”
“See? No fun man,” he grumbled stubbornly.
I clung onto his arm and gave an apologetic smile. Drake took a quick detour to buy us some Starbucks and we continued on our journey back to the tattoo and piercing studio.
“I’m serious about that wasteman though,” he said with a scowl.
“Who, Tyreece?”
“Who else? He’s been nothing but a dickhead to you lately.” He kissed his teeth and aggressively sipped his hot chocolate.
“It’s alright. I’m gonna talk to him soon and sort it out.”
“Fuck that. I’ll do it for you.”
“No,” I quickly said.
“You sure?”
“I can handle it.”
He saw how serious I was being and gave a small smile, despite the piercing embedded in his cheek. “I dunno what made me forget.”
I quirked a brow. “Forget what?”
“That psycho bitch is still inside you somewhere. Of course you can handle it.”
I burst out laughing and firmly pinched Drake’s arm, causing him to yelp in surprise.
“You dickhead,” I said with a chuckle.
He sighed happily but quickly turned serious again. “But if he gets outta line, let me know. I’ll take him round the corner.”
I rolled my eyes and sipped my Caffé Mocha.
“What about the other one?” Drake asked in wonder.
“Kayden? What about him?”
“What’s he saying about all this?”
I furrowed my brows when I recalled Grace asking me the same thing. As soon as I told her about Tyreece she wanted to know Kayden’s reaction to our unofficial separation.
“It’s got nothing to do with him,” I muttered, facing ahead again.
“But you’ll eventually tell him, init?”
“He doesn’t need to know about my relationship.”
Drake breathed out a short laugh. “Rebecca, he is your relationship. All of the bullshit that’s happened comes down to the fact that he exists.”
I shook my head. “Not true.”
“Tyreece was jealous of you and Kayden’s closeness, right?”
“Yeah, but—”
“Well then.”
I sighed in frustration and shoved open the studio door. “Whatever man. Let’s just get this over with.”
He gave an impish smile. “Scared?”
“Course not...”
Half an hour later I was lying down with clammy hands and a thumping heart. My left nipple felt hot and tender, already with the barbell poking through. The pain had been sharp, intense, but quick. It had died down by now, but I could still feel the subtle sting.
Lucy, another piercer that had insisting on doing this, washed her hands and flashed me a supportive smile. “Still hurts?”
“Not as much,” I muttered, my fingers still shaking. Drake had teased me before I entered this room and I managed to convince him that I wouldn’t be fazed. Truthfully I hated needles and had an incredibly low threshold for pain. I turned to the side table with the bloody cotton balls and noticed my nipple had stopped bleeding...finally.
Now it was time for the other one.
I took a deep breath in. Only half way through now, and this would soon be over. I don’t know how Drake endured this pain so often; he got new piercings at least once a month.
Lucy snapped on a new pair of vinyl gloves and opened yet another package of needles. “Are you ready?”
“No,” I admitted. “But I wanna get this over with.”
She gave a little chuckle. “That’s the right attitude. The sooner the better.” She got the clamper and pressed it over my other breast, pinching my nipple. I breathed deeply and squeezed my hands together. “Stay still for me, okay?”
I nodded and glanced over at the door. I had requested to be in another room to avoid everyone’s eyes, mainly Drake’s. Not that I minded people seeing the procedure, but I was ashamed of how scared I knew I would be. No one is allowed to see me this vulnerable and afraid.
“Just like before, yeah?” she said gently, preparing the needle. “Deep breath in...”
I sucked in a great amount of air, ready for the pain.
“...and out.”
I exhaled right as she stuck the needle through, wincing at the sensation and gritting my teeth.
“Ffffuck,” I muttered, my body shivering at the pain yet again.
She quickly snipped off the ends and screwed the balls on, then placed some tissue on top to stop the bleeding.
Two. I had two throbbing nipples now.
“All done,” Lucy announced with a beaming smile. “You did really well.”
I huffed and looked down at the two silver bars. Hurt like a bitch!
“Feels weird,” I mumbled. “It’s pulsing.”
“Completely normal.” She began to dab the blood away gently. “They’ll be sore and throb for a while, and you may feel some phantom pinching or pulling sensations, but it’s all normal.”
I nodded and slowly sat up. Both nipples continued to throb, but the initial pain was slowly ebbing away. I was just hyper-aware of the piercings now.
Lucy placed some soft bandages on both nipples and I reached over for my bra.
“Try to wear sports bras for the next couple weeks.”
I nodded and fitted it on. Sports bra? Do I even do any sports to own one?
“Avoid lace bras for a while as well. The piercing could easily get caught.”
“Right.” I nodded and stood up to drag my top on.
“How do you feel?” she asked.
“Accomplished.” She laughed and I smiled weakly.
After receiving some more advice, I thanked Lucy and left the room. Drake was sat on the sofa chatting up a pretty light-skinned girl who had just as much piercings as he did. I approached the two of them but he didn’t even notice my presence.
“How many piercings you got?” he asked her.
She tapped her chin in thought. “Gonna get my seventh one today. What about you?”
“Ten normal and three microdermal.” Then he leaned in close to her ear. “Wanna see my favourite one?”
She smiled. “Where is it?”
His eyes motioned down to his crotch before he gave her a sensual smile.
“Drake,” I said loudly before things got weird. They both turned to me and he shot up from the chair.
“Yo! Did you get it?” I nodded and he cheered loudly, earning a few glances from others in the studio. “How does it feel?”
“Bloody painful,” I mumbled.
“What piercing did you get?” the pretty girl asked.
I turned to her and blinked. She seemed friendly enough, so I had no reason to ignore her. “Nipple.”
“Both?” I nodded and she hummed. “Yeah, they really do tend to hurt at first. Mine were sore for like a month, but it’s different for everyone.” She then gave a smile and thrust her hand out. “Shanay.”
I froze in shock at the name. My brows tightened at the thought of my ex-best friend, the same girl who chose her man Hayden over me. The same bitch that broke my mums picture relentlessly. I forgot how common the name was, and I couldn’t help but sneer.
Reluctantly I shook her hand, giving her a cautious glare. “Rebecca,” I mumbled. “Do you know a Shanay from Clapham?”
She shook her head. “I’m the only Shanay I know,” she said with a small laugh.
I forced a smile and looked at Drake. “You two know each other?”
He shook his head. “Not properly. We’ve seen each other a couple times when I’ve come to get a new piercing.”
“Last time you was getting your ear done, right?” Shanay asked him.
“Mm, Auricle piercing. Didn’t hurt though.” He shrugged before looking at me. “You ready to go?”
I nodded. “Gonna go chemist.”
“I’m comin’,” Drake announced. “I need some Vaseline.”
I decided not to ask and we left shortly after saying bye to Shanay. As we walked along the high street, I winced at the uncomfortable sensation in my nipples. Although the bandage was on for protection, I still felt the chafing somehow. This was going to be an uncomfortable month for me.
“You okay?” Drake asked.
“Can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” I huffed.
He let out a short laugh. “I didn’t force you. But I’m glad you did.” He gave a sly smile. “Nipple piercings are sexy.”
“Sexy how? It itches.”
“Lemme see.” I gave him a look. “I mean, I have mine pierced so I’ll be able to know if—”
“I’m not showing you my breasts.”
He cursed quietly and looked away with a huff. I laughed at that scowl on his face and remembered what he had said to Shanay.
“Did you really pierce down there?”
He raised a brow. “My dick? Yeah. Swear I told you?”
I shivered. It was so casual for him! “Didn’t that hurt?”
He gave a shrug. “Course, but now it feels good. Especially when I beat. When it rubs against the cli—”
“Drake.”
He chuckled. “What? It’s true.”
We soon got to the chemist and Drake went for the Vaseline straight away, picking up a whole handful. I gave an odd look.
“Why do you need so much?”
“I always stock up. If I buy bare now, it’ll last me for months.”
I shook my head. I knew Drake was eccentric, but he still managed to shock me in new ways every time.
Then I noticed a familiar face by the medicinal shelf. “Erica?”
The girl spun around and sure enough, Kayden’s little cousin was stood there with a stunned expression. “Oh, hey.”
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“Erm, just getting some painkillers.”
Drake suddenly nudged me and I laughed at how badly he wanted to be introduced. “This is Erica. Erica, Drake.”
Her eyes widened in disbelief. “As in...Drake Drake?”
I gave a shrug. “To be honest, I still don’t believe him.”
“Oi, don’t make me draw for my passport man.” He tutted and we both laughed. Drake gave a little wink to Erica and I saw a faint blush in her cheeks. The dude was stood there with a mountain of Vaseline tubs and he still managed to attract girls.
“That looks painful,” Erica noted, looking at his new cheek piercing.
Drake shrugged. “Nah it’s calm. Just got it done.” He gave a little grin. “Some advice: never get a cheek piercing. They hurt like a motherfucker.”
“Drake,” I sighed.
He turned to me. “What? She’s old enough to know swear words.” Then he looked back to her. “How old are you?”
“Erm, 15.”
He smiled. “See? Erica’s grown.”
“But they’re children here. Even I know when not to swear.”
Drake gave me an annoyed look. “Becc’s, chill.”
Erica giggled and I rolled my eyes, pushing Drake towards the till so he could pay for his things. I only needed some cream and painkillers, but he managed to make things long with all his items. Afterwards we said bye to Erica and headed to the bus stop.
“So what’s the plan?” Drake questioned.
“Gonna see Tyreece.”
His eyes bugged out. “Now?”
“I think now’s the right time.”
“But you’re in pain.”
“He’s put me through more pain. I can focus all my anger on him. I’ve spent the past week crying and upset because of him, making myself look like a helpless prick. I need to confront him today.”
“Rah,” he breathed quietly. Then he gave a firm nod. “Then do you, boo. Good luck.”
I smiled weakly. “Thanks.”
Soon I got off the bus and jogged across the road. Tyreece was practising at Tooting Bec racetrack; I practically knew his whole schedule from the one time he told me many months ago. I walked through the gate and saw all the usual faces, giving a welcoming smile to a couple friendly athletes.
“Where you been, Becc’s?” One boy Leroy asked, sweat dripping down his face.
“Around, why?”
“We don’t see you anymore init. Tyreece ain’t mentioned you.”
I quirked a brow. “That so? Where is he?”
He gulped down some energy drink before nodding his chin towards the changing room. “Went to get some water.”
I nodded and waited by the benches while everyone continued their warm up. I felt a pair of eyes scorching my back and turned to see Sacha sat on the bench behind mine.
“You haven’t been here for ages,” she said with an amiable smile.
“So you noticed?”
She blinked and looked unsure of what to say. “Well, yeah. We’re used to seeing your face.”
“Everyone else is. You’re too busy staring at Tyreece.”
She was taken aback by that. I shrugged and turned away, not bothering to entertain her conversation any longer. I was angrier with Ty. Sacha was simply a thirsty home-wrecker, but Tyreece...he should’ve known better.
He eventually emerged from the changing room, chugging on his water bottle. It hadn’t been more than a week but he appeared different somehow. His trainer, Michael, came over to get some equipment and smiled when he saw me.
“Hi Rebecca. Long time no see, ey?”
“Yeah,” I laughed quietly. “Things have changed.” My eyes slid towards Tyreece again. He walked over to his bag to put his bottle away, completely unaware that I was here watching him.
“How are you?” Michael asked, picking out some plastic cones.
“Been better,” I muttered, still analysing Ty. Then I faced him. “I need to chat with Tyreece. Is it alright to pause the training for now?”
He nodded slowly, seemingly confused at the request.
I stood up and finally approached Tyreece as he was doing some stretches with his teammates. His eyes widened once he saw me.
“What are you doin’ here?” he asked.
“We need to talk,” I stated firmly.
He glanced at the others, who were already listening intently, before turning back to me. “Now?”
“There won’t be much of a conversation. I just came to tell you something.”
“You couldn’t call or text instead, nah?”
“This needs to be done in person.”
“Oh shit,” one of his friends muttered. “Ty, you’re pissed fam.”
Tyreece narrowed his eyes at me. “I need to train.”
“Michael said I could talk to you.” Seeing his helpless expression was slightly amusing. “Why are you trying to get out of this?”
He tutted. “What do you want?”
I realised others were now watching and listening in on our conversation. My eyes scanned the curious faces before I bluntly stated: “I can’t do it anymore.”
Some gasps were heard and Tyreece stiffened. “What?”
“This. Being with you. Having to put up with your childish shit. I’m not doing it. I’m done.”
His jaw clenched and he quickly glanced at the stunned faces of his teammates. “You’re gonna do this here? Now?”
“When else could I have done it? We don’t see each other.”
He breathed heavily and growled, “You tryna make me look like a fool?”
“You’re doing that all by yourself.”
“That’s it then? Things get rough so you wanna run?”
“You’re the one that’s been running. It’s what you’re good at, alie?” He kept quiet so I continued, “Running away from your issues, right into someone else’s arms.” I glanced at Sacha, whose eyes widened. “I just know when to leave before it gets worse,” I stated.
His chest shivered and his nostrils flared. Everyone else was silent, and even Michael had his mouth open in awe.
“Congratulations on your Gold, by the way. It was a good race.”
His eyes widened. “You were here?”
“Course. But you didn’t even know, did you? Too busy celebrating with others.” I pointedly eyed Sacha again. She kept her head down in shame. “Anyway, I hope you do well in America.” I turned to leave but he quickly grabbed my wrist. “Don’t touch me,” I warned.
“You’re not ending it like this,” he whispered hoarsely.
“How should I end it then? You want me to scream and hit you? Expose you for what you did with Sacha when you thought I wasn’t here to see?”
His brows furrowed. “What did I do with her?”
“Don’t fucking act stupid, Tyreece!” I seethed loudly, making him jolt slightly. I lowered my voice, speaking calmly again. “You know what you did, unless you forgot already. Did you not grope her ass enough?”
More gasps were heard and his grip tightened. I stared him in the eye but he still didn’t back down, his breathing getting heavier with anxiety.
“That wasn’t even...” he drifted off when I shot him a cold glare.
“Exactly. Don’t chat shit, I ain’t here for excuses. I’m just making this breakup official since you ain’t got the balls to do it yourself.” I turned to Sacha and gave a short laugh. “This the kinda man you want?”
She swallowed hard and began to stutter in panic.
“Don’t,” Tyreece muttered, and I looked back at him. “You fucked up as well.”
I raised a brow. So he wants to bring up the Kayden incident now?
“Yeah, I did. But I also told you about it and apologised because I felt guilty, and I didn’t want to hurt you anymore. After that, I was never unfaithful to you. I cut all ties with him so I could stay by your side, but you still didn’t trust me.”
His eyes were cast down, and he remained silent, still clasping my wrist firmly.
“Then you disrespected me on my Mum’s anniversary. Do you know what that’s like? That was the one time I needed you the most, but you ignored me, made me feel like shit. So I went to your race, saw you and that bitch over there,” I pointing over at Sacha, “getting all loved up. I heard everything you said that day, and it killed me.” I smiled at the irony of it all. “Then you continued to ignore me, until today. Why the fuck do you think I’m here?”
“Rebecca,” he whispered sadly. “You can’t do this...”
“I can. I’ve done far worse to people before, trust me. I can be very vindictive and spiteful; you’re lucky this is all I’m saying to you.”
He had a pained look on his face, but it didn’t bother me in the slightest. All week I’ve carried the same expression because of him, so it was time to return the favour.
“You’re embarrassing yourself, Tyreece. Just move on. I have.”
His fingers tightened around my wrist even more at hearing that. “Becc’s...”
“Rebecca to you.”
“You can’t go.”
I released a heavy sigh. “Let go of me. I mean it.”
He slowly loosened his clutch and I turned to Sacha. Her eyes were still wide with frantic terror as I slowly walked up to her.
“Rebecca,” Michael warned cautiously.
I walked up the stairs and approached her bench, all eyes on me as I got nearer. She was stiff with fear, and the guy’s edged closer, Leroy included, ready to break up a fight.
“Here.” I brought my arm out and placed it in her hand. She looked down at the set of keys in her palm. “You can have my leftovers.”
She gawked at the set keys to Tyreece’s flat before watching at me helplessly. “Rebecca—”
“To be honest, I don’t wanna hear you speak. Just take the keys; I don’t need them anymore.” I looked at Tyreece who had sunk to the floor in defeat, a few of his teammates crowding to try and help him up. I noticed some tears fall from his face and turned back to Sacha. “You two deserve each other.”
With that I headed back down the stairs and looked at their trainer with an apologetic smile. “That’s all, Michael. Thanks for your time.”
He gave a slow nod, still in shock by what he had just heard and witnessed. I turned and headed to the exit.
“Rebecca!” I heard Tyreece shout from behind. Hearing the anguish and rage in his voice, I looked back to see his moist face and gritted teeth as he was held up by his friends. “It’s him init?” he yelled in anger, referring to Kayden. “He fucking made you do this!”
I watched him and gave a look of pity, shaking my head in disbelief. It’s like he didn’t hear a word I said. Then I continued to walk to the gate, listening to his angry hollering as I got further and further away.
“I’m not letting you end it!” he shouted in fury.
Then I heard Michael order, “Leroy, take him to the back, let him calm down.”
“REBECCA!”
“Oi Ty, chill man.”
“GET OFF ME!”
I left though the gate and kept a neutral expression the whole way home. Once I reached Brixton I kept my head low as I walked down the street. I didn’t want the world to see the tears that had escaped my eyes as I realised I had lost another important person in my life.
*
It was a chilly Friday afternoon when I rang his doorbell. I had finished 6th form and decided to pay him a visit, get this all off my chest. I’d waited long enough to gather my thoughts and figure out my own feelings, so now was the time to lay all the cards out on the table.
The door opened and he stood there with a confused expression.
“Rebecca?”
I gave a weak smile. “Are you busy?”
“Erm, nah.” He analysed me closely. “You alright?”
I nodded and it fell silent for a couple seconds as we watched each other cautiously. “Can I come in or...?”
Kayden pushed the door further open and stepped aside to let me through. I breathed a sigh of relief when the warmth washed over me and shivered as I removed my coat and scarf. It had been a while since I came here willingly.
I looked around and noticed how quiet it was. “Anyone home?”
“Nah.” He shut the front door with his foot and folded his arms as he faced me, waiting for me to speak.
“I need to tell you something...actually, a few things.”
His face turned to a grimace and he led me to his room. I stood by the door and sighed as I thought of Drake’s words from a couple weeks back.
“Sounds like you still have feelings for this Kayden yout...”
That was the first thing he had said when I told him about my problems with Tyreece. But what made him even come to this conclusion? Was it that obvious?
“Tyreece is a rebound...”
But he wasn’t! I genuinely liked him and eventually those feelings deepened. Anything I had felt for Kayden deteriorated. Even after he returned, I never stopped loving Tyreece.
“Don’t deny your feelings for next man. It’ll just make things worse...”
“Rebecca.”
I snapped out of my thoughts and looked up. Kayden was sat on his bed, elbows rested on knees, watching me closely with a brow raised in curiosity.
“How’re things with Aaliyah?” I blurted out. That wasn’t what I actually wanted to ask, but it was still on my mind nonetheless.
His eyes narrowed slightly. “Serious? That’s what you came for?”
I shook my head slowly. “I just wanna know before I say it.”
“Say what?”
“Just answer.”
He studied me closely before murmuring: “Haven’t seen her for time. Why?”
I looked at the wall to avoid eye contact. “Are you together?” I felt his eyes on me and I sighed. “Answer the question...please.”
It was silent for a moment until he muttered, “No.”
I felt my heartbeat quicken. Clearly I needed a better tactic than this, but I had no idea where I was actually going with all these questions. Everything boiled down to my own nosiness.
“You have to answer my question now,” he ordered.
I smiled weakly as I peered out the window. “I’ve just been thinking. My friend made me realise I’ve been hiding my feelings for too long. No, not even hiding...denying. I’ve denied my feelings this whole time because I was scared, but after last week, I shouldn’t be scared to admit how I feel.” I slowly gazed at his confused face. “I love Tyreece...but I’m in love with you.”
Kayden’s eyes widened a fraction. I waited for some kind of response, but he was stuck in stunned silence, unable to speak, so I continued.
“But why? Why do I still feel this way? It pisses me off that I can’t let you go. Like...after what happened last year, I hated you for what you put me through. You were the closest I’d ever been to someone besides my mum, and you left me for so long, I didn’t know what to do with myself.” I leaned against the door. “Then I grew closer with Tyreece, but it irritated me that he...wasn’t...you. Eventually I moved on, my life was turning around, and I was happy.” I shot him a semi-cold glare. “Then you came back and everything turned shit again, because when you returned, my feelings did as well.”
His face remained stoic as he listened to me vent.
“Fast forward to a couple months ago and you were still on my mind. Then you started to mess me up, and it affected my relationship. I couldn’t get you out my head, but you had moved on with Aaliyah, and I was back to square one. Ty did nothing but make me happy. He didn’t deserve the treatment I gave him. Sometimes I thought of letting him go so he could find someone better, but then I would think...where does that leave me? I couldn’t go back to you because you had Aaliyah. Then I’d start to get pissed off because you were still on my mind. Even now, being with you in this room is hard.”
He finally opened his mouth. “Rebecca—”
“When you first mentioned Aaliyah I was jealous. But who am I to be jealous? You can have anyone you want, and it’s not my business who you want to fuck. But every time I thought about you two, I would feel...depressed? Angry?” I asked myself. There was always more than one emotion I felt whenever Kayden was involved. “Then I would start to feel guilty again because the only person I should’ve been focusing on was Tyreece. I always wanted to tell him this, but that would’ve made things worse.”
He watched me in awe, and then I took a deep breath.
“Tyreece grew jealous and we started to drift apart. It only got worse on my Mum’s anniversary. Seeing you defend me made me realise that you were more committed to me than he ever was. He was only focused on training, always putting me second.” I released a heavy sigh and felt the anxiety slowly lifting off my chest. “Remember when I told you I fucked him? All lies.” I chuckled distantly as I stared out the window. “We didn’t have sex. Not properly anyway.”
I could see the questioning look on his face in the corner of my eye so I decided to explain.
“I got jealous of you and Aaliyah so I decided to sleep with Tyreece to even the score...but it didn’t work.”
“That’s a stupid thing to do,” he commented.
“I know. I wasn’t thinking. You told me about Aaliyah and I wanted you to feel how I felt.”
“You said you didn’t care.”
“I lied. You knew I cared but you kept going back to her, and it killed me.” He watched me silently and I felt distraught looking into those hazy brown orbs. “Knowing that you was with another girl, one that hated me, giving her the same pleasure you used to give me...it pissed me off.” I faced away again. “Pissed me off even more that it got to me so much. I didn’t want you anywhere near her, but at the time I was still pushing you away. I wanted two different things at the same time, and I still wanted Tyreece. It was so fucked up.”
We fell silent for a while and I watched as Kayden took all this information in, going through everything I had said so far in his mind and frowning deep in thought.
“I don’t know what you would have wanted me to do,” he finally muttered.
“I don’t know myself,” I mumbled. “At first I wanted you to stay away, but then I wanted you close. I dunno.” I shook my head. “A couple weeks ago I caught Tyreece...” my throat tensed up at the image of him and Sacha and I swallowed hard, “...doing things, and I lost it. That’s why I got drunk that night, and you were still on my mind even then.” I frowned as I recalled everything about that crazy night. “I didn’t want you to see me like that. I was in a bad place, tried to hide it with alcohol and made myself look stupid. Everything you said to me while I was drunk, I remember it all.” His jaw tightened and he glanced down at the floor as if recalling everything as well. “You said when I’m sure about who I want, that I should tell you.” I pushed away from the wall and stated firmly: “I don’t want Tyreece.”
His head shot up in shock. “What?”
“I ended it with him on Monday. We’re not together anymore.” He blinked wordlessly and I stared him deep in the eye. This was it, after bottling up everything for months and suppressing these feelings, I was finally going to say it straight up... “I want you, Kayden.”
His body was still for a moment as his eyes searched mine, and then suddenly he stood up from the bed and began to advance towards me. I gulped at his approaching form, his eyes firm and determined. Finally he stood in front of me and quietly muttered, “You want me how?”
“How I’ve always had you.” I swallowed hard. “I want it back to how it was.”
He gazed down at me with half-lidded eyes. “Did you really end it with him?”
I bowed my head and nodded. It was only a few days ago but the heartache was still fresh. “I know it’s a lot to take in but I had to let you know; get this all out before I went mad. I’ve had these thoughts to myself for ages.”
He sighed and pulled me into his chest, resting his chin on my head and rubbing my back. I remained stiff, slightly taken aback by the action, but his familiar scent soothed me and I sighed, nuzzling into his embrace. “I’m glad you told me. Sorry it didn’t work out.”
I wrapped my arms around his midriff and felt overwhelmed with emotions. Since ending it with Tyreece I’ve been a mess. I felt completely lost, even after finally confessing to Kayden, I wasn’t sure of what to do. I was trapped inside in a bubble of sorrow with no way to get out. “Where do I even go from here?” I asked.
He gently caressed my back. “If you really want me, I’ll get rid of Aaliyah completely and we can start again.”
I gulped and felt my chest tighten. This was it; after everything I’d just said, Kayden was willing to start over. I shut my eyes tight. “I want you,” I whispered.
Listening to his steady heartbeat, I heard him sigh. “We’ll do things right this time, take it at any pace you want.” He pulled back and watched me cautiously. “Only if you’re ready.”
“I am,” I muttered. “I’ve always wanted you.”
His smile was sad, and I knew he felt guilty that I had ended my relationship with Tyreece. I could only blame myself for this outcome though. If I had been stronger from the very beginning, Kayden wouldn’t have made his way back into my life and I would still be happy with Tyreece. I wasn’t sure if this was the best decision, but I wanted to spend more time with Kayden.
Being in his embrace again made my stomach tingle. To be this close with Kayden was almost surreal after being distant with him all these months. I really did miss his company.
He gently kissed my forehead and gripped me tighter, then softly, in the quietest tone, I heard him say: “You’ve always had me.”
*
A month later things were going well. I managed to pass my A Levels despite all the stress but decided to take a gap year and do fulltime at Café Nero instead. Kayden and I were back to our usual level of closeness...minus the sexual stuff. I found it was nice just being ordinary friends: going to the cinema, shopping, restaurants, even staying at each other’s houses again—although we wouldn’t sleep in the same bed. It was just like when we first met, which was all I wanted.
Our families were more joyful than we were. When Zaine had first seen us together in the living room he jumped on us and gripped me excitedly. I laughed and held him tight, whereas Kayden shoved him off. I could never forget his words either.
“I missed you, Becc’s! Welcome back.”
Dad and Kieran weren’t even surprised that Kayden was fully back in my life again though.
“Wah’um stranger?” Dad had said, slapping Kayden hard on the back, whereas Kieran had spudded Kayden and offered him a stiff drink. Andre on the other hand didn’t care. He simply stared Kayden down before trudging upstairs to his room and slamming the door. I had to explain to him that Andre had changed recently, to which Kayden shrugged it off.
So things were back to normal and it was like nothing had changed. Tyreece did cross my mind sometimes. I heard from Zion that he’d be travelling to America soon to start his national training, and apparently Sacha was going with him. It kinda irked me that he hadn’t tried to contact me since. It was as if he was really trying to cut all ties between us, but I suppose that was the best option. He was probably too busy going down on Sacha anyway.
It was a chilly morning when I went out with Brooklyn and Natalie. We had all signed up to The Gym Group in Stockwell and they wanted to have an early session. We spent an hour before they started complaining about aching thighs, so we left earlier than originally planned. On the way back home in Natalie’s new car, Brooklyn turned down the radio.
“Anyone heard from Grace lately?” she asked.
“I spoke to her a couple days ago. She’s still shopping for the baby,” I answered.
“Chris still about?”
I glanced at Natalie through the mirror and nodded. “Still doing office work.”
“I never thought Chris would settle down and get a job,” Brooklyn muttered.
I shrugged. “It happens. I just can’t wait to see him as a dad.”
Natalie frowned. “That child is gonna have his massive head.”
“I was thinking that,” Brooks whined. “Poor ting.”
“Hopefully the baby takes after Grace. We don’t need another Blue Ivy case.”
They laughed and we stopped off at Tesco for some snacks. Straight away we ended up in the confectionary aisle.
“Should we really be buying sweets after just working out?” Brooklyn questioned.
“I’m hungry,” I muttered.
“The fitness leaflet said—”
“Fuck the leaflet, I want Haribo’s.” Natalie quickly grabbed two packets from the shelf.
We went to the self-service till to pay for what ended up being a mountain of snacks and Nat hummed in thought. “How’re things with Kayden?” she asked, wagging her brows at me.
That tone didn’t sit right with me. “You’re asking like he’s my man.”
They both exchanged a look. “Ain’t he?”
I kissed my teeth. “We’re being civil. I told you nothing’s happening between us.”
“But you told him how you felt,” Natalie reasoned.
“And you’re not with Tyreece anymore,” Brooklyn added.
“Yeah, so? Doesn’t mean I have to jump back into a relationship straight away.”
“Oh!” Natalie laughed. “So you’re just waiting for the right time?”
I sighed. “There might not be a right time. We’re just chilling for now.” Brooklyn suddenly chuckled and I looked at her. “What?”
“You think you two can just stay friends? That’s cute.”
“Piss off.”
We soon paid and left the store, the girls still teasing me as we headed back to Natalie’s car. I saw a couple approaching with their arms linked and quickly realised it was Tyreece and Sacha. Straight away Brooklyn and Natalie glanced at me but I couldn’t help but stare. Sacha was literally clinging onto him, listening to every word he spoke, and they both had a smile on their face.
The world seemed to slow down at that moment as Tyreece glanced up and noticed me getting closer, then Sacha quietened down. Our eyes lingered for a brief moment and everyone fell silent as we walked past each other. I kept my eyes ahead, heart thumping wildly, not daring to look back at him as they entered Tesco. We reached the car and I kept my head low.
“I can’t believe he just walked past you like that,” Brooklyn muttered.
“What could he have done?” Natalie countered as she packed the bags into the boot. “They’re not together, Brooks.”
“I know but...he had the cheek to be with that same frowsy bitch after everything that’s happened.”
Natalie nodded. “I know, he’s such a prick.”
I sighed as they continued to cuss Tyreece and slipped into the passenger seat, my mood completely ruined.
*
That evening I was on the way back from the cinema with Kayden and I couldn’t help but feel low. Thoughts of Tyreece were clouding my brain to the point where I couldn’t enjoy Kayden’s company like I usually did.
“Film was decent,” he said, bumping his head to his Tory Lanez CD.
“Mm,” I agreed, staring out the window. We decided to watch Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. As expected, the film was good, but it didn’t even manage to distract me from my miserable thoughts. Suddenly the car chugged to a slow stop as we reached the traffic lights and Kayden kissed his teeth, struggling with the gear stick.
“S.A.C.H.A’s been fucking up lately,” he grumbled. “Need to take her to the garage.”
There was that damn name again. Of all things to name his car.
I sighed. Anything associated with this bitch was really making my mood worse. But I didn’t want to ruin Kayden’s time either, so I took a deep breath and decided to busy my thoughts and mind.
We eventually got to his and I looked around to see if anyone was home, but Kayden seemed indifferent.
“Is everyone sleeping?” I asked before looking at my watch. 9:54PM. “It’s not even that late.”
He laughed quietly and slipped off his jacket. “They went to my uncle’s for dinner.”
“Oh, just us then?” I hung my coat on the banister and removed my shoes, thinking of the evening we just had. “I think this one was better than the first.”
“What, the film? Nah, first was better. This one gets three stars from me.”
I rolled my eyes and realised how quiet it was without the sounds of the TV blaring cartoons. “Ahh, I wanted to see my boyfriend.”
He kissed his teeth when he realised I was referring to Zaine. “That’s the only reason you came here?”
“Yeah. Now I’m stuck with you.” He threw his trainer at me and I laughed. “Let’s watch a movie.”
“We just watched one.”
“So?” I went to the living room and hopped on the sofa, grabbing the remote and switching the TV on. It didn’t take long for me to find something. “Ooo, Training Day.”
Kayden scratched his head and plonked beside me. “You only watch this for Denzel.”
“No, it’s genuinely a good film.” I saw Denzel Washington appear on screen and licked my lips.
Straight away I got into it while Kayden sat close to me already engrossed in his phone. No matter how reminiscent this movie was, I still couldn’t help but think of Tyreece. He had seen me in the flesh and walked right past me, like he didn’t even know me, like we didn’t have history together, like we weren’t once friends before any of this mess happened. And of all people to see him with, it had to be Sacha.
I didn’t hate Tyreece; I just hated his behaviour, but that didn’t mean I wanted him completely out of my life...or maybe I did? After all this time I wasn’t even sure of what I wanted; my own thoughts were conflicted. Maybe this was for the best though, but still...we did share some good times together. But I had Kayden as a friend now, and we’ve had fun the past month. We managed to rebuild our friendship and I felt comfortable around him again. So why was Tyreece on my mind? Why couldn’t I just...forget him? Like he’s forgotten me. He’s moved on...so why can’t I?
I turned to Kayden and analysed that brooding look on his face, the way he bit his lip in concentration, and the way his brows furrowed. I still found him very attractive. Although we’ve been careful this month, it was hard to keep my self-restraint. It’s been nice just being friendly with him, but sometimes I’d remember all the ways he would give me pleasure, and a feeling of helplessness would shroud over me.
“Kayden...”
“Mm?”
He didn’t bother to look up so I turned his face to me by his chin and quickly leaned in to kiss him fully on the lips. He pulled back with a quizzical look, but I leaned close to claim those lips again. After a month and a bit of abstinence, I craved him stronger than I ever did before.
He slowly sank into the kiss and began to move his mouth against mine. Without wasting time, I climbed on top and angled my head to deepen the kiss, grinding my hips on his lap and making his breath hitch. Feeling his cushioned lips again made my stomach tingle, like the very first time we shared a kiss, but this was far more intense. I broke the kiss and moved down to his jaw and neck, enjoying the sound of his heavy breathing. I heard a thud on the floor and realised he had dropped his phone to clasp my waist firmly instead. As he gripped onto me, he dipped his head to meet my lips again, pecking my mouth softly as I continued the motion of my hips.
“Rebecca,” he breathed on my lips. My heart thumped. It had been a while since he said my name like that; his raspy tone was music to my ears. I wanted to hear it again, so I dived in for another kiss. Soon we were both panting, the air growing denser as our temperatures rose. Kayden ran his hands down my sides, all the way to my bum, and palmed it firmly as our lips moved together. He shifted his lips to my jaw, then my neck, nibbling gently. I shut my eyes, enjoying the feel of his mouth on my skin once again.
Then I sniffed.
He paused and pulled back to give me a questioning look. I realised my eyes had watered and quickly turned away.
“Sorry.”
“Why’re you crying?”
I wiped my eyes before tears began to fall. “It’s nothing,” I croaked.
“If you don’t want to...”
“No, not that.” I sighed heavily and felt my emotions bubbling up inside. “It’s dumb.” I climbed off him and collapsed back on the sofa.
“Tell me.”
I sniffed again, trying to keep my emotions in check. Reluctantly I mumbled, “I saw Tyreece today.”
He sighed, his lips still moist from kissing. “What happened?”
“He was with the same girl I caught him doing things with. They looked like a proper couple going shopping.” I dropped my head and felt my chest shudder as I tried to control my tears. “His brother told me he’ll be going America soon to train, and apparently she’s going with him since they’re in the same training program. I’ve been trying not to think about it but...it’s like...he didn’t say one word to me. He didn’t care enough to say anything.
“I feel dumb because when I ended it with him, I told her that they belong together. But it was just something I said out of spite, I didn’t really mean it. But they’ll actually be leaving...together. He’s making me look like a fucking idiot.” I sniffed and wiped my eyes as more tears fell. “God, I don’t wanna think about him, I really don’t but...just knowing that he’s...going and...” I was finding it harder to speak with the overwhelming sobs. “I dunno. I’m still getting hurt, even though it was his fault. I’m the one crying, but he’s fine.” I covered my face. “I acted so hard in front of him but I still miss him sometimes.” I tutted and finally let the tears go.
“Rebecca. Any man that would treat a girl the way he treated you isn’t worth it. I know that for myself. He’s gonna go America, see what life is like without you, and he’s gonna regret everything he did. He let a good thing go. I know what that’s like as well. It killed me not being with you. Believe me, he’s gonna know what it feels like. But it takes time. Right now, he’s using that girl as a coping mechanism. She’ll never mean as much as you did to him; she’s just a rebound. Trust me, he’s been hurting this whole time.”
I shook my head and sniffed, finally uncovering my face. “You’re just saying that.”
“Nah, I mean it. Look at me. Dry your eyes.” His thumb rubbed over my cheeks and I sniffed once more. “You know I hate seeing this pretty face cry.”
I used my sleeve to wipe the remaining tears and sighed helplessly. “Thanks. I’ll try not to think about it. I didn’t mean to do that just now, I just wanted to take my mind off it. But it’s hard. It’s hard forgetting someone who was so good to you. It’s hard...having to let go.”
Kayden’s eyes softened and without warning he leaned forward and kissed me. I coiled back in shock, ready to question him, but he cut me off with another kiss, sucking eagerly on my bottom lip. I groaned quietly and my body melted as he pushed me on my back, slowly clambering on top to cage my body beneath his own. I breathed deeply and he gazed down at me with passionate eyes. This position was all too familiar.
“I’ll help you let go,” he declared firmly.
“Huh?” He leaned in again and I moaned at the rough kisses.
“I’ll make it go away,” he promised. I couldn’t get another word in and the fervent kiss made my body react. He finally pulled away and I moaned at the loss of warmth, craving those lips on my own again. We stared at each other as I gulped in air, then his hand reached for the zipper of my jeans.
“I’ll make you forget about him, Ree.”
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