Chapter one

It was a beautiful day. Everyone cheered in delight and numerous cameras flashed in the distance. Some cried; others were excited as they watched the couple ahead state their vows in promise to devote to each other and finally become one.

"We have come together in the presence of our creator and these witnesses to join these two in holy matrimony. This is a special time of celebration that the two of you will long remember, and because of this, we are grateful to share in your joy. Leon, do you have something you would like to say to Rebecca before we begin?"

Leon shook his head, his face just about visible through the ivory veil that covered my face.

"Rebecca, do you have anything to say to Leon before we begin?"

I shook my head also and gave a faint smile in his direction, though I doubt he could see it.

"Marriage is a serious commitment meant for your welfare and enjoyment. Marriage also offers each of you the opportunity to grow together as a couple and as unique individuals. In each of you, God has planted an idea of how you would like to be treated in a loving marriage.

"This idea is a seed of desire that requires each of you to give to the other in constant and consistent positive behaviour that reflects your desired results. Only then can these seeds, these ideas, come to fruition, manifest in reality, and deliver abundantly. If these solemn vows which you are about to make are kept faithfully, your marriage will surely prosper in all the goodness you both desire..."

The minister's voice became a diminutive murmur in the background as I peered directly into Leon's dark brown eyes, carrying the cheesiest smile on my face. I found it hard to believe that this day had actually arrived...finally.

"Please join hands," the minister instructed.

Our hands linked instantly. I felt the goosebumps surface on my skin as his skin brushed mine. My hands were already sweaty from the nerves. Leon flashed a reassuring smile and squeezed my hands gently.

"Rebecca Stellon, do you take this man, Leon Richards, to be your lawfully wedded husband; and do you promise to love, honour, respect him, and comfort him, and keep him in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him for so long as you both shall live?"

I watched Leon silently for a few seconds. I was certain that I had made the right decision. Once this day was over, there was no turning back. "I do," I muttered.

"Leon Richards, do you take this woman, Rebecca Stellon, to be your lawfully wedded wife; and do you promise to love, honour, respect her, and comfort her, and keep her in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her for so long as you both shall live?"

Leon's eyes searched mine. I could only guess he was having the same thought process. His lips formed into a joyful grin before proudly stating, "I do."

"I now with divine blessings and the power vested in me, joyfully pronounce you Husband and Wife. You may kiss the Bride."

Leon slowly removed the veil from my face, still carrying that cheesy smile. I took in the sight of his handsome features and felt my chest shudder. He licked his lips and I giggled, then he leaned closer until our lips connected...

The sound of my phone caused me to open my eyes. I groaned, annoyed by the fact that this dream was forever disturbed by one thing or another. It was always right when we're about to kiss! I leaned up on my elbow and answered the call from an unknown number.

"What?" I grunted.

The person on the other end continued to breathe through the phone, and then I heard them smile. "What's good? It's me."

I frowned at the unfamiliar voice. "Who's me?"

He laughed. "You one you gave your number to yesterday."

I rolled my eyes and flopped back on the pillow. Now I remember. A short dark-skinned guy had approached me when I was heading to the shop to pick up some household items. Even though I told him I wasn't interested, he insisted that I took his number anyway. I didn't think he'd actually be brave enough to call me since I was so rude to him.

Now I deeply regretted it.

"What do you want?"

"Just wanna talk. You alright?"

I kissed my teeth. No, I'm not alright. Not only has he interrupted my nap, but my dream too. Dickhead.

"You've woken me up, so I don't like you at the moment."

He laughed as if it were a joke. I was ready to hang up. "Sorry, I didn't know."

"Now you do."

"I want you to come see me."

My brow rose. Shy much?

"Is this a demand? You're not anyone special. Why must I come see you?"

"So we can get to know each other."

I ran my hand over the soft duvet covers, already bored of the conversation. We all knew what he meant. I wasn't that naive. "What's your name again?"

"D'Andre."

"Alright, D. You're chatting shit, so I'm going now."

He paused momentarily. "Ah, don't be like that."

I couldn't help but laugh at how desperate he sounded. "Bye," I said sweetly before hanging up.

I hate guys who see me on the street and automatically assume that I'm an easy girl to get into bed. They all seem to want to get to know me so quickly. Bitch, I don't know you, stay out of my life like nature intended.

I sighed heavily and reluctantly got out of bed to stand by the open window. Peering outside, I crossed my arms on the windowsill and spotted a few children playing on the street. It was a warm Saturday in May, so hardly anyone was indoors. I decided to call Shanay to see what she was up to. It rang a couple of times before she answered.

"What is it, Becc's?"

"I'm bored so I'm coming to yours." I heard her grunt in annoyance. "What's up with you?"

"My mum's pissing me off again."

"Same stuff about the rent?" I asked, waving down to the neighbours kids that spotted me watching them play.

"Yeah. Saying I work but don't support her. I don't think she realises it's part time. I can barely support myself."

"Y'know what mums are like. Leave her alone, she's my hero."

"She needs to get off my back."

I continued to admire the view. The afternoon glow of the sun beamed down on the streets, making the sky look a lovely carolina blue. I refuse to stay indoors any longer.

"You coming round or not?" Shanay asked.

"Gladly."

I walked over to my wardrobe and picked out my cream parka. Then I grabbed my Vans from the shoe rack and slid then on before leaving my room.

"Hurry up."

"You should never rush perfection, Shan."

I could almost hear her eyes rolling. "Anyway. Where's my man at?" she questioned referring to my 19-year-old brother, Kieran.

I scoffed and headed downstairs, stuffing my keys in my pocket. "Hopefully far away from here."

She chuckled. "Tell him I want three kids."

I cringed at that. She was way too obsessed with him. I really didn't see the appeal. "You need to behave."

"It's best that I get with him anyway. Better to have someone you know and trust than some any girl that he brings round."

"You have a man!" She started laughing. She always forgot about her partners whenever Kieran was involved. "I'll see you in a bit."

"Yep, later."

I hung up and stuffed my phone in my pocket. I walked past the living-room to see my younger brother, Andre, playing FIFA on his PS3. He noticed me watching him and paused the game.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

I arched a brow. "Are you federal police? In what way does it concern you?"

His eyes narrowed. The thing that bothered him the most was answering his question with another question. "Are you seeing Shanay?"

"Maybe."

His lips formed into a little smirk. "Alright."

I glared at him, already aware of what that smile meant. Andre was only 14, but he was literally infatuated with Shanay, yet Shanay was in love with Kieran. As for Kieran...he can't keep a girl. Each person had no chance with the next. It was a funny situation.

I went to the kitchen where I knew Dad would be. He stood by the stove, making dinner as expected.

"Dad, I'm going over to Shanay's," I informed.

"You asking or telling?" he replied with his back facing me.

I sighed. "Can I go?"

He finally turned to me, carrying his default stern facial expression. "Don't stay too long, you know you have coursework."

"Alright, I'll be back for dinner." I leaned up and kissed his cheek. "See you later."

"Don't stay out all night," he called after me as I left.

"I won't!" I left the house and shut the door behind me.

Luckily Shanay lived down the road, which was beneficial to a lazy person like me. No need for travel expenses either, although I still take the bus sometimes when I really can't be bothered.

I began to jog down the road, singing any feel-good tunes that came to me and waving at whoever I passed. I was generally a happy person, for the most part. Who's to say I can't wave to strangers? The same people that have a problem with it are the same people who refuse to say hello to bus drivers and never thank them when getting off the bus.

Halfway there my phone began to ring. I looked at the caller I.D and smiled.

"I'm jogging at the moment, is this important?"

Leon laughed. "So a man can't call his girlfriend to say hello?"

"You can, but I'm busy."

"Jogging?"

"That's right. Keeps the blood pumping."

"Where are you jogging to?"

"Wherever the wind takes me." He sighed and I smiled. "I'm seeing Shanay. I'll call you back."

"Alright babe. Later."

I shoved my phone in my pocket and continued my routine jog. Leon and I have been together 8 months and counting. This is my longest relationship to date. I was thankful I found someone faithful and hardly annoying.

I passed an Asian family and they looked at me oddly as I jogged past. I simply smiled at them and went on my merry way. I didn't care what people thought of me, I never have and I never will. Life is too short to worry about the little things, and there's so much evil in the world you need to enjoy whatever you can. I've had this mentality from a young age, and I've managed to live by this mantra for years; there was no way I'll stop now. Anyone who ever tells me that my way of thinking is wrong, they can come and suck my clit.

I eventually arrived at Shanay's and rang the bell. The door opened promptly as if she had been waiting by the door the whole time.

"Took you long enough."

I shushed her and entered the house, making a beeline straight for her little brother, Corey, and picking him up. He was such a tiny thing with big brown eyes and a gorgeous smile.

"My boyfriend is growing fast." I poked his chubby stomach, causing him to giggle and dribble. I ran my hand over his soft afro and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He was so handsome. Shame his dad is a prick. I almost forgot Shanay was stood by the doorway waiting to go upstairs.

After greeting her mum and cuddling Corey for longer than Shanay liked, we headed to her room. I jumped on her double bed and kicked off my Vans. It didn't take me long to get comfortable under her covers.

"I know this bitch didn't come just to sleep in my bed," I heard Shanay kiss her teeth.

"Not everyone has a memory foam mattress like you. Let me live," I muttered with a yawn. I was still extremely tired after being woken up from my dream.

Soon we were both going through magazines for inspiration on our Media project. I filled Shanay in on that D'Paulo guy or whatever his name was and she found the situation hilarious.

"He's obviously feeling you."

I tutted in annoyance. "The guy doesn't even know me. I shouldn't have made him think he had a chance anyway. Leon would kill him."

She giggled. "True..." Then her eyes bugged at something in the magazine. "Oh my God!"

Thinking she found something extraordinary like the cure for cancer, I leaned over to see the page. A photo set of Kanye West.

I watched her with a blank face, quickly remembering that Shanay only cares about three things: Kanye West, food, and sex.

"He looks so fine here. I remember this photo shoot." She licked her lips subconsciously. I was literally appalled.

"I don't understand your type in men," I commented. "Even Kieran is better, and I hate that boy."

"They're both sexy," she whispered, her eyes gleaming.

"Kanye's massive jaw is a problem. Plus I can't agree on Kieran because that would be incest."

She rolled her eyes. "You only have eyes for Leon anyway."

"Exactly." I smiled and went back to my magazine.

Shanay gazed at the picture of Kanye again. "He looks sexy here. If he was ever in this room right now, you know I'd have to suck his di-"

"Alright," I interrupted her before she turned graphic.

She grinned—a very dirty perverted grin—and then rested back on her headboard, giving me her full attention. "How are you and Leon anyway?"

"We're alright," I answered with a light shrug.

"Oh." She suddenly frowned and began to flick through the pages quickly, her head completely low with slumped shoulders.

Her change of body language was alarming. "Oh what? What's wrong?"

She glanced up at me and bit her lip, clearly debating on what to say. Her inner battle with herself was making me anxious. Now I was dreading the worst.

"Tell me, please. "

She gave a heavy sigh. "I saw Leon yesterday with another girl and they were ... kissing," she muttered hesitantly.

My eye twitched. "What?"

"I was on my way back from work yesterday and I saw them at the bus stop."

Leon is ... cheating on me?

My brain didn't react for a few moments; my body remained completely still as I tried to process this information.

Leon ... is ... cheating?

How is that possible? Why? For how long? And with who?

"Becc's?" Shanay watched my face closely.

Leon and I have been going strong for ages, so what could warrant him cheating? Even if things were going horribly wrong for him, why didn't he just come to me to try and work things out? Instead he does the complete opposite, and now I'm here looking like a complete fucking idiot.

I felt my heart thump wildly and my chest tightening in mild anger. Now the realisation hit me, and it hit me hard.

"Rebecca?" she said again.

"What time was this?" I asked finally.

"Around eight, maybe eight-thirty," she answered in thought.

That was around the time he came to my house yesterday. Which means he was with that bitch first before coming to see me straight afterwards. How low can someone be? He had the fucking audacity. How dare he!

Shanay continued, "I called out to him so that he knew I saw, then him and the girl quickly got on the bus..." She rested a hand on my leg. "I'm so sorry."

I remained still, trying to stay as calm and composed as possible.

"Be right back," I muttered. She nodded and I hopped off the bed and left her room, my phone clutched tightly in my palm. There was no way I could even begin to argue on my phone in front of Shanay. I already felt like an absolute prick. I entered the bathroom and locked the door behind me. The only way around this now was demanding answers and trying not to blow up in unyielding rage in my best friends bathroom. I sat on the toilet seat lid and called him straight away. He answered after the third ring.

"So you're finally done jogging?"

"Yeah."

He chuckled. "So what are you and Shanay doing?"

"Chilling. What about you?"

"Just with my boys."

I flexed my hand into tight fists. He was so calm and confident, as if nothing bad could come his way. Well, I had a whole storm brewing for him. "Leon?"

"Yeah?"

"Leave the room."

"Why what's wrong?"

"Just do it."

Sure enough, I heard a door open and close, and the voices in the background disappeared. "Are you alright?" he asked.

"I just wanna know how fucking stupid you think I am."

He paused for a split second. "What?"

"Don't what me. Shanay told me what she saw yesterday. What, you think she wouldn't fucking tell me? You think running off with your little side piece would stop me from finding out?! Tell me right now where the word prick is on my forehead!"

"Rebecca."

I let out a deep breath, realising that I had raised my voice. I will not allow this boy to make me lose myself.

"How long?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't fucking play dumb with me, Leon. How long have you been cheating?"

"What the fuck? You're gonna believe what Shanay says?"

"She's my best friend. Don't try and downplay what she witnessed."

"Before I get fucking angry, let me tell you what really happened. My cousin from Canada came down to visit for the weekend. I took her out for dinner and we went to the London Eye.

"After I took her to the bus stop because I was dropping her off to my Aunty's. I gave her a kiss on the cheek goodbye, but I heard Shanay shouting from across the road. My cousin got scared, so I decided to follow her on the bus. If you think that's fucking cheating, then I can't even be with you."

I was left speechless, unsure of what to say next.

"You better check your friend, Becc's. This isn't the first time she's said this about me."

That was true. Shanay had a similar story about Leon getting into a car with an older woman. I was furious at the time, since Leon's mum didn't drive and he has little to no family left. I confronted him about it and discovered it was just his Aunty picking him up from work. It was little things like this that gave Shanay's stories less credibility each time.

"Alright," was all I said. "I believe you."

"Thank you. I don't like how your friend keeps making me look like a scumbag."

"She means well. Just looking out for me, as best friends do."

Leon sighed. "I'd never do that shit to you."

"Okay."

"Seriously, Becca. You need to start trusting me."

Hearing that made me cringe. Trust was such a hard thing for me, and Leon knew it.

"I'm trying."

"I know, baby. Try a little bit harder for me, yeah?"

"Alright. Sorry," I murmured petulantly.

"I'm gonna get back to the game now. Talk later."

"Bye."

He hung up. I sighed ran my fingers through my hair. Maybe I was going about this the wrong way. It's always important to get both sides of a story before pointing fingers. This was all one big mix-up, clearly.

I gazed at the tiles of the bathroom floor and felt empty inside, like my feelings were no longer there. I belonged to a numb body.

I stood up to view myself in the mirror by the sink. I splashed water on my face and watched my reflection in the mirror. I wasn't the most beautiful girl in the world, but I had my looks: full curly black hair of bra strap length, smooth caramel skin, and an average body. I've stood at 5"7 for a few years now, so I guess I'll always be average height, too. I'm still young; I haven't got time to worry about appearances, anyway.

Hi. Everyone knows me as Becca or Becc's. I'm 17 years old, studying Media and Sociology in college, living with my two brothers and my dad. As for my mum ... I'd rather not go into that. I've required my own way of thinking: living to please only myself. Whether that makes me a selfish person or not, it doesn't bother me. Like I said before, anyone who has a problem with that is welcome to suck my clit.

I'm Rebecca Stellon, and believe me ... I have my moments.