Chapter nineteen

Becca

The ticking of the clock was like an echo in my ears as the sound bounced around my silent room. I sat with my back against the headboard, knees up to my chest, staring at the broken glass in my hand. The last of my mother's smile. This was all that was left. Everything else had been swept up and thrown away.

In a mere second, Shanay had shattered what was left between us. I had no idea what possessed her to do something so cruel. The Shanay I knew would never go to such lengths out of pettiness and spite. We had fallen out, but this was no excuse. I would never do something so disgusting and vindictive, and she knew that.

I wrapped the shard of glass in a tissue and placed it in the top drawer. It didn't feel like a whole day had passed since the incident, probably because all I've done is sit here and think about the events that took place. It also caused me to reminisce about my childhood, which led to me feeling mildly depressed. I was quickly reminded that whatever wonderful moments I shared with my mum ... I could never get back.

It also resulted in me feeling angry. Angry that she was no longer here. Angry that I still had to suffer this heartache. Angry that Shanay had the fucking audacity to do what she did. My emotions were in a frenzy but had boiled down to sheer resentment and fury in a matter of minutes. Even 24 hours later, I found it hard to keep calm. It didn't help that the scene replayed in my head in a constant loop: the wicked glint in Shanay's eyes, her mocking words, the devastating crash of the glass, the tense atmosphere — everything.

There was no way she would get away with this. I would pay her back in in kind. And not just her, either. She hadn't been the only one to make a mockery out of me. In fact, I had a list of people so far:

1. Shanay

2. Leon

3. Olivia

4. The fat kid who hit me in the head with the ball

So far the list was very brief, but who knows? I was extremely on edge, so people needed to stay out of my way. Especially as I'm not tied down with the bet anymore.

My phone buzzed and I checked the caller I.D then let out a sigh. I couldn't remember the last time I'd spoken to Drake/Shubdi but I definitely wasn't in the mood for a conversation. I busied the call and turned my phone off. The last thing I needed was human interaction. Thankfully, everyone else from yesterday had given me space without me having to ask for it. They already knew how I was.

I laid on my side and stared at the wall, thinking about the red haze that enveloped my vision right before I attacked Shanay. I thought I'd experienced true rage before, but this was something different. Something much more intense. I didn't even have control of my own body, which was frightening to think about – although she deserved it.

There was a knock at the door. Kieran popped his head through despite the lack of invitation. "We're going to uncle Richard's for a bit." I stared at him blankly. "Kayden's waiting outside. Should I tell him to go?"

I shook my head.

He said his goodbye's before shutting the door. I heard a load of footsteps and doors shutting and closed my eyes, feeling drowsy from the overbearing emotions and lack of sleep.

I sensed him before I even heard him. Kayden entered my room and I heard a shuffling of clothes as he removed his hoody and kicked off his trainers. Then he climbed into bed behind me and wrapped his arms around my torso, pulling me closer and nestling his face into my nape. I instantly relaxed and felt my chest lighten.

"I tried calling. Your phone was off."

"Didn't wanna talk," I muttered.

"I know."

It was strange, but I missed him and I was glad he came back so soon. Truthfully, he was probably the only one who could keep me sane right now. Yesterday, he told me what he'd witnessed; he saw a crowd of people leaving as he approached my house and the front door was left open. That was when he entered and saw me crouched on the floor staring at the broken glass. I explained the situation in as few words as possible, still numb from the events that took place. He didn't probe or give any kind of reaction, he just stayed right there with me and left early in the morning. And now, a few hours later, he was back.

I let out a sigh as he rubbed my stomach. The action was simple yet soothing and allowed me to focus on his hand entirely. I welcomed the distraction. His chest was firm against my back as he leaned even closer and gently kissed the spot behind my ear. His embrace was incredibly warm and comforting. I didn't want him to ever let go. His scent clouded my nose and I inhaled slowly.

He smells so good.

"Tell me what's on your mind."

His voice was low, calm, soothing. It made me reply in the same manner.

"I'm annoyed that I let her get to me as much as she did. I wish I'd held myself back because now ... it feels like she won."

"What else?" he muttered, now running his fingers along my navel gently.

"She violated me, Kayden." I released a heavy breath in an attempt to quell the anger but it wasn't helping. "Not just me but my entire family."

"I know." He replaced his fingers with his palm and began to rub my stomach again, circular motion.

"She's done something that can never be taken back. We can never be friends again after this. And I don't want to be her friend. I want her to suffer."

"Suffer how?"

With my eyes still shut, I frowned. I didn't know how; I just know I wanted it done. "Not sure yet, but she's on my list."

Kayden kissed my neck and ran his hand along my waist. I sighed and decided I would try to take my mind off things, so I forced myself to change the subject.

"Are you making up for all the times you couldn't touch me?" I asked, shivering when his fingertips brushed the ticklish spot on my belly. When he didn't answer, I opened my eyes and turned to look at him. Only then did I realise how rough Kayden looked. His once shimmering brown eyes were now bleak and tired, his skin completely drained of colour, and his hair was carelessly dragged back into a huge puff. His appearance had diminished somehow; frankly, I've never seen him look so low. He smiled weakly at my comment and stared into space. He had been distant this whole time. It wasn't like him at all. "What's wrong?"

"Just thinking," he answered, still incredibly distant and vague. I turned my body to face him completely before locking my fingers with his and squeezing his hand gently. Now that I was calming down, it was easier to ask about his wellbeing for a change.

"You can tell me," I offered.

He sighed and avoided eye contact. "I don't wanna talk about it. You have your problems, I have mine." He lay on his back and I rested my head on his chest instead, listening to his steady heartbeat. I didn't mind that he wanted to keep things to himself, just as long as he wasn't suffering because of it. I ran my thumb over his knuckles and paused when I felt a bump. I looked and saw that his knuckles were swollen with blisters.

"What happened here?" I asked, rubbing it.

"Punched the wall."

"Why?"

"I was angry."

I frowned and gazed at him. His expression was unreadable but his narrowed eyes and pursed lips told me he was in the worst mood. I knew he was deep in thought about whatever was troubling him. I also knew that he refused to tell me since he didn't want to burden me with his problems.

"I hate seeing you like this," I confessed.

His mouth was a grim line. "Can't be happy twenty-four-seven, can you?" He looked straight at me and his empty eyes searched mine.

"No. You can't," I muttered, answering his rhetorical question. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

He breathed a laugh before looking to the ceiling once again. "No. This is just fate running its course." He rested his arm over his eyes, shielding his pain from me. "Can't do anything about it."

I kissed his knuckle, completely disregarding my own issues to focus on his. "Tell me."

Kayden sighed deeply. I watched as his broad chest heaved up and down once. Twice. "My auntie has cancer. She's dying." His jaw clenched as he muttered the morbid words.

My heart thumped and a pang of pain shot through my chest.

Oh no...

"I'm– ... I'm so sorry."

He finally uncovered his face to glance at me. "Sorry?" he chuckled in disbelief. "Sorry isn't going to make her better, Rebecca. My family only found out recently because she didn't want to tell us. Now, three months after the diagnosis, she dropped it on my mum and said she was sorry. Said she didn't want to burden us. It's bullshit." He turned his head, facing the other way completely. "I don't want to hear that fucking word. Not now."

I watched him and felt nothing but sorrow and sympathy. I know he didn't mean to snap at me. He was clearly hurting, and I wanted to be there for him just like he was there for me yesterday. I rubbed his chest to try and soothe him. "I understand how you feel."

He shook his head, still avoiding eye contact. "You'll never understand, Rebecca."

I looked away and the room fell into silence once more. Then I pulled away and sat up, looking for the right words to say and coming up blank each time. Kayden needed me to be there for him, to console him and make him feel like he wasn't alone in this. I knew how, but it was incredibly hard. The thought of opening up to him even just a little bit made my chest tighten, but this was the only way. After five whole years of keeping it to myself, I was going to share my agonising journey.

"My mum died of lung cancer five years ago."

Kayden's eyes snapped in my direction and he studied me for a few seconds. He quickly realised I was being serious and sat up as well, watching me closely. I held a strong gaze before turning away to look at my patterned duvet.

"I'm still not over it. I don't think I ever will be. She kept it a secret for a long period of time. Only my dad knew but he didn't say anything either." I turned to the drawer that held the remaining piece of my mother's portrait and sighed.

This is painful.

"I remember her being strong and independent – proud as well. Of her heritage, especially. Ruth Samuels, full Eritrean. She was beautiful..." I traced the pattern on the duvet with my finger as I remembered my late mother. "She was a paediatrician. She loved working with kids, and we were lucky because we rarely took ill. She always knew what to do whenever we got symptoms of flu or allergies." I smiled weakly. "I looked up to her. Literally copied everything she did; from the way she spoke to the way she ate. I was inspired by her. I think ... she's the reason I'm always so confident. She taught me to never let anyone take me for granted and to always be myself."

Kayden remained silent as he listened intently.

"Kieran was the first person to realise that something was wrong. Her attitude and body language changed, she became weaker, her skin was pale and she snapped at everyone. Even Andre began to notice and he was only eight at the time. After a while, she was staying out late and eventually she just stopped coming home. Dad told us she went on a trip but he wouldn't say where. His attitude gradually changed as well..." I swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

This is really painful.

"The day I found out was the day she died. Apparently, I was the weakest one. She didn't want to let me down so she thought it would be best to keep me from knowing. Kieran let it slip that she was in the hospital and her condition had gotten worse. I screamed at my Dad to take me to her and he broke down. He said he was sorry for keeping it from me, he was just doing what she had asked him to.

"She was sleeping when we got to the hospital. I almost didn't recognise her. Her hair was gone and she'd lost so much weight. I thought she'd break if I hugged her. She looked so weak and fragile it devastated me. When she woke up, I demanded to know why she didn't tell me. I was so angry and confused I couldn't express myself properly. There was this..." I clutched my hand into a fist then flexed my fingers, unable to find the words. "...this burning hatred towards her. I despised her for lying to me but I wanted to hold her close and tell her that everything was going to be okay. That I still loved her. She broke down and told me how scared she'd been. How she was terrified to leave us and how sorry she was.

"I stayed with her for hours that day. We spoke about everything. Deep down, I knew she had a few days left at least. Knowing that comforted me, in a way. I looked forward to seeing her every day until she left us. She told me how proud she was of me, that I would be the woman of the house when she was gone. She wouldn't stop crying; it was the first time I'd seen her so vulnerable, I didn't know how to react." I looked out the window and felt my eyes sting with tears.

"She passed away the following morning. Just like that. I'd spent practically a whole day with her, but it wasn't enough. I never got to say a proper goodbye." A tear escaped and trickled down my cheek. I didn't bother to wipe it away. "I have so many regrets, but the main one is wishing I'd spent more time with her and telling her how much I loved her. But I was too late." I glanced at him, my vision blurred with tears. "Time is so precious, Kayden. Don't make the same mistake I did."

He was incredibly still, unblinking, his face solemn and his eyes heartfelt.

I sniffed and shook my head. "That's why I can never forgive Shanay. It was more than just a picture. It was the last time I'd ever seen my mum smile, and now it's gone ... I..." Feeling overwhelmed with anguish and sorrow, I covered my face and allowed the tears to fall. It felt good to finally unleash my emotions and cry freely; I don't think I'd ever allowed myself to.

Strong arms pulled me in and Kayden's hands cradled me as I sobbed into his chest. My entire childhood flashed before my eyes. The reality of my mum's death was too much to bear. I felt my rib cage almost give way and my forehead throb violently. All these years my emotions have been bottled up. When mum died, I didn't cry. At her funeral, I didn't cry. Seeing her pictures, I didn't cry. Five years of harbouring my emotions, and now the floodgates had been opened and I wasn't able to stop it from happening.

Kayden rubbed my back in a circular motion and laid a soft kiss on my forehead. "I had no idea," he said quietly.

"Only a few people know." I sniffed moistly and rested my head on his chest, my eyes burning and my nose wet. "I'm such a closed-off person, it takes me ages before I can begin to let someone in. I'm so scared of being left behind again so I act the way I do to keep people at bay. A defence mechanism, I guess," I said with a light shrug. "My dad thought it was weird that I showed no emotion when I was younger. I had to see a psychologist for a while." The pounding sensation in my forehead was getting worse, but nothing could compare to the painful ache in my chest. I shut my eyes to rid of the world for a moment. "So now you know. That's why I am the way I am."

Kayden kissed my hair and I held onto his top, needing to anchor myself. His embrace was so warm and comforting I couldn't imagine letting go.

"Promise me something," I muttered into his top.

"Anything."

"Your auntie is probably scared and confused. She needs you. Spend as much time with her as you can. Don't be like me and leave everything until the last minute. It'll destroy you. Believe me." He sighed and I opened my eyes to peer up at him. "Promise," I said again.

He rubbed my back. "I promise."

I looked down at his knuckles and brushed over it gently with my thumb. It made sense now. Kayden probably had a hard time expressing himself, just like I did five years ago. While I shut myself out from the world in order to deal with things, he resorted to anger. Neither of them was healthy options, though. I sniffed again and shut my eyes, willing for the terrible migraine to disappear. "Anyway, after my mum passed, it felt as if everyone was keeping something from me. Because of that, I find it hard to trust people."

Kayden released me. I was confused until I felt his lips on my cheek. Then my forehead. He kissed around my face gently, everywhere but lips, making my stomach tingle. Then he wiped my tears away with his thumb. I cautiously opened my eyes to see him watching me. His eyes were no longer dull and tired; they had been revitalised with emotion, brought back to life. His expression had changed completely. "You can trust me," he murmured, his thumb grazing my cheek as I stared at him in awe. "I'll never leave you."

All of a sudden, everything was in slow motion. My face was drawn to his and my heart thumped as our lips grew closer. He brushed his nose against mine while my eyes remained focused on his.

"I'd never hurt you, Ree," he whispered on my lips.

Our lips slowly connected, closing the gap between us. It was a gentle kiss, just a mild brush of the lips before I pulled away. I watched him and he stared back. After a few seconds, we leaned in again and he gave a feather-like peck on my lips. We regarded each other one last time before his lips finally crashed into mine. Hungrily. Desperately. Passionately. I breathed a sigh of relief and my eyes closed instantly. There was something different about this kiss – more understanding and meaning. For the first time I was experiencing something greater than lust and I wasn't afraid to admit that it felt ... right.

I fell back on the mattress and Kayden hovered over me, our lips still connected as he slid between my legs. My heart raced as if it was our first kiss, although it definitely felt that way. Kayden angled his head to deepen the kiss, his tongue trailing between my lips, causing me to open my mouth and let him in – in more ways than one. I raised my hands to hold the back of his neck. Our tongues entwined, stroked and caressed, sliding along one another sensually. I whined when he gradually pulled away, sucking on my bottom lip as he went. We both panted and I was left wanting more. Much more.

His eyes portrayed something I had never seen before, and suddenly, I was aware that this would be different. Without warning, his mouth attached to the crook of my neck. I gasped when he bit into my heated flesh and sucked the same spot gently to soothe it. A shiver shot down my spine and I swallowed hard.

My pounding forehead persisted as Kayden continued his worshipping. I didn't have the energy to wipe my wet eyes or dab my nose. Right now, I knew Kayden only cared about consoling me and himself. He wanted the both of us to indulge and feel better. The room was silent, save for my harsh breaths and the sound of Kayden's lips sucking on my skin. It was heavenly and I was greedy. I craved more. I needed more.

Using his right hand, he rolled my t-shirt up until it bunched below my neck and reached up to palm my breast, all the while biting my neck. My breaths came out in short pants as he fondled such an intimate part of me. His hands had been there before but now it's as if his touch was searing. Then he reached beneath me to unclip the bra and I swallowed hard as his eyes pinned me in place. Just like that, the restricting fabric was removed, exposing my bare chest.

Kayden's eyes flickered down to my hardened nipples. With one swift movement, his lips attached to the nub and he sucked gently while his hand massaged the other. I grit my teeth and clutched onto his top, the excitement was consuming me and I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to control my reactions much longer. My back arched when his teeth nipped the sensitive skin and my mouth hung open in a silent moan as the spike of pain shot down to my core.

"Kayden..."

He switched to the other nipple, his eyes on me while his tongue circled the perked tip; now using his hand to tease the first nipple. He pinched and rolled and sucked and bit. I wasn't sure what aroused me more: the action of his hands alone, or the fact that he was completely focused on me while he pleasured my body. For some reason, I couldn't break my gaze away from his. It was as if we were communicating with our eyes. I was picking up everything he was saying, but the lust-filled fog in my mind made it hard for me to say anything back. Instead, I moaned and bit my lip.

Kayden soon broke away to pull my top over my head. I lifted my body for a brief second to get it off, before falling back to the bed. Now I was half naked and his eyes descended my body, showing complete veneration as his hands ghosted my curves. His gaze blazed into mine, searching with desire and need as he ground his erection into me. I squeezed my eyes shut and widened my legs, allowing him to do whatever he wanted and remembering the feel of him from the last time in this same position when he snuck into my room that night. Even back then, I was losing my mind and was incredibly close to letting him have his way with me. Kayden had a knack for making me feel like the sexiest person he'd ever laid eyes on. He didn't just grope, he worshipped, and he made every action feel intense and pleasurable. It was no wonder we were in this predicament yet again, although it was different this time around. I yearned for his touch.

He rested his head on the crook of my neck and continued his leisured thrusting. I chewed on my lip in order to stifle my moans. I could feel him poking through his tracksuit bottoms; he was thick and ready, growing larger with every movement of his hips. I breathed heavily and clung to him, my previous worries of losing control of my body now flung out the window. Kayden had already given into his body's desires – it was time for me to do the same.

I clenched my legs around him, pulling him even harder against me, needing to feel more of him. His breath was warm on my neck and his body firm against mine. I felt secure underneath him; like he would shield me from anything. His lips found mine again and his mouth was hot and ravaging, eager, loving. He licked my tongue with his own, taking complete control of the kiss unlike before. The sensation of his mouth and hips was becoming too much for me, I could barely keep up. Then his wandering hand reached the strings on my tracksuit. I stiffened when he tugged at them and loosened the waistband.

I didn't complain.

He pulled away and peered at me, his chest heaving from the overbearing kiss. I stared back as I tried to catch my breath. Once again, he watched me with lidded eyes as he gripped the waist of my bottoms and began to pull them down my thighs. I was captivated by his brown eyes, completely ignoring my constricting chest and throbbing centre.

I didn't complain.

He pulled them off and placed them on the bed beside him before leaning over me again. Kayden was fully clothed while I was left in my lace pink boyshorts. His gaze washed over me from head to toe and he bit his lip. I was in a trance as we watched each other in silence. There was no tension, no awkwardness, no words. Just respect, adoration and understanding. With another kiss to my lips, my eyes closed once more and I was left in the dark, waiting for whatever he would do.

His lips distracted me from what his hands were doing. My mind was completely scattered; I couldn't think straight even if I tried. All I knew was that I wanted Kayden badly. I wanted whatever he was willing to give, and I wouldn't worry about the consequences, either. I jolted when his fingers touched the apex of my thighs, rubbing the moist centre through the lace and causing me to moan into his mouth. Each time his fingers rolled over my sweltering clit my body twitched in longing. He sucked on my lip as he pulled away and buried his face by my shoulder again.

"You wet for me, Ree?" he asked on my neck.

I gulped at the feel of his fingers venturing into new places. I nodded shyly and his hand slipped inside my damp underwear. I tensed once I registered what he was planning to do. He sensed my apprehension and rubbed over my throbbing clit to soothe me. I inhaled sharply and groaned.

"Do you trust me?" he whispered.

I swallowed past the insanely huge lump in my throat. "I don't know."

He continued rubbing gentle circles over my swollen clit. "We can stop right here."

I shook my head. "Keep going,"

His middle finger glided down slowly, teasing my entrance. "Is this the first time?"

I licked my lips and nodded. "Mm-hm."

There was a rumble deep in his chest and he sighed. "Shit."

My heart thudded viciously at the sexual frustration I heard in his voice alone. Then I felt it: a tense, painful tear wracked my body as he slid a finger through slowly. I winced at the odd twinge of discomfort as he pushed his finger through to the second knuckle. Then he began to ease it in and out of me at a slow pace. I sighed and held onto his arm for support. It was bearable but uncomfortable – I couldn't begin to imagine what his penis would feel like.

Kayden's finger continued its painfully sweet rhythm, moving slowly in and out, in and out. Each time he pushed further, I tensed even more, only to relax when I got used to the size. I shut my eyes and released breathed deeply.

"How does that feel?" he asked softly. Even with my eyes closed, I could tell he was watching my face to gauge my reactions.

"Weird ... but good," I muttered. The uncomfortable sensation was slowly ebbing away, replaced by a small bite of pleasure each time his finger slipped back inside.

He kissed a spot on my neck. "I'll add another."

Before I could even prepare myself he pushed his middle index finger through. I stiffened and chewed on my lip to keep from cursing. It felt good. Too good to just be his fingers. The sensation of being penetrated so deeply was so foreign to my body but I welcomed it, thrived off it, craved more. Each time they slipped inside, it felt as if they were pushing a special button within me, and I moaned at the quickening pace. Kayden kissed me right away, swallowing my moans while his fingers curled slightly.

The room was spinning and the pleasure seemed to heighten as he pumped his fingers deeper. My pounding forehead had calmed by now and tightened chest was beginning to loosen. Kayden's skilled fingers were curing my aching heart and he didn't even know it. They began to twist and curl inside me, bringing a new, astounding feeling to his foreplay. I groaned loudly and felt my body reacting naturally, rolling my hips into his palm to create more friction between myself and his fingers.

"That's it. Ride me," he whispered in my ear. This only made me grind my hips harder. I wanted more. I needed more. I dug my nails into his arms and he hissed through his teeth. "Fuck, Ree. Do it harder." I moved my hips in time with his thrusting and he grunted in appreciation. His lips found my nipple and he began sucking, making me groan loudly. The feeling was out of this world. His fingers plunged deeper as my hips ground with even more force. Very soon, I was going to explode.

After a few minutes, he pulled back to sit on his haunches and look at the view. He used his hand to hold my thigh wider, watching as his fingers thrust inside me. "So pretty," he murmured, his eyes on the most intimate part of me. Then, his fingers sped up. I gasped; my stomach coiled as a sudden rush hit my belly. Kayden's fingers rammed deeper and I bit my lip, loving the abrupt change of pace and the sound of my wetness coating his fingers. He stroked something within me that caused my body to jerk involuntarily.

"Again," I panted.

I heard him hiss through his teeth as he leaned closer. "I love this side of you," he whispered, dipping his head low and running a languid tongue over my chest. "You're so sexy, Rebecca."

"Again, p-please..."

"I need to know that you trust me."

I nodded quickly. "I do... I trust you, Kayden. Please do—ahh!" My back arched when he stroked that spot again. My teeth gritted together and my fists clenched.

"I've always wanted to feel you, right here," he said hotly in my ear, brushing my clit with his thumb. The rush grew stronger; I could no longer contain it. My legs shook frantically and something deep in me surged at the amazing sensation. I cried out in ecstasy as it seeped out of me.

"Ahh, God..." I panted heavily, feeling dizzy. I squeezed my eyes shut and suddenly realised what had just happened. The trance had been broken, that hazy fog in my mind had cleared, and now I was back on earth. He removed his fingers and I felt his weight shift on the bed. I briefly opened my eyes to see him sucking on his fingers. I didn't know what to feel right now. My mind was a fuzzy mess. It still felt right but it was...weird.

He got up, allowing me to pull up my boyshorts. I spotted the mess on the sheets and noticed he was watching me. I stared back.

"What?" he asked softly.

I slowly shook my head. "Nothing. I need to clean up."

"I'll do it," he offered with a sigh.

I frowned. I was in two minds right now; I didn't even know what to do with myself. I felt his eyes on me but I refused to look at him. I'd break down if I did. This was weird – awkward. We're meant to be friends.

"You okay?"

I shrugged. Aside from the dull ache down below, I was fine, physically, not mentally. Mentally I was losing it. I glanced at him to see he was staring at me intently. I quickly looked away again. Shit, I can't even hold eye contact now. He left the room after cleaning the sheets and I resorted to staring at the wall. I allowed Kayden to finger me. It was the first time I'd ever experienced something like that and I...liked it.

Naturally, I'd be verbally abusing him by now, but I wasn't, and I couldn't. I didn't even want to. Why didn't I stop him? I rubbed my face and thought of my mum. I wish she was here right now; she'd know what was wrong with me. I went into my second drawer, digging my hand to the back of the right-hand corner to retrieve a jewellery box. I opened it up and saw her special ring inside. She had given it to me for my 11th birthday and said it had been passed down from her mum. I never took it off after that, till her death. Since then, it has been kept safe in my drawer. Whenever I had my moments, I would just analyse it and reminisce.

"What's that?" he breathed on my neck.

I shuddered and closed the box. "Just some ring," I answered nonchalantly.

"It's nice," he commented, snaking his arms around my waist. A strange tingling sensation was felt afterwards, right in my abdomen. I couldn't even respond. He rested his chin on my shoulder and held me close. "You know it's my birthday next Saturday," he announced, running his nose along my neck.

"No, I didn't know," I replied quietly. "What are doing for it?"

He shrugged. "Nothing big though. I'm not bothered." 

"Oh."

"I'd rather spend the day with you." He gave a soft kiss to my neck. The tingle was felt again. I shivered in response and attempted to shrug out of his grip, but he only held on tighter. "What's wrong?"

"Can you just let go of me?" I muttered in frustration. He released me and I sat back on the bed after tucking away the ring. He watched me silently under hooded eyes, giving nothing away with his blank expression. I glanced up and screwed. "What? What the hell is your problem?" I rubbed my face, feeling highly exasperated. I didn't want to take my anger out on him, he hasn't done anything wrong.

"I knew I shouldn't have done it," he said with a sudden frown. "You're gonna act off with me, is that it? Now I can't touch you?" I peered away. "You could have told me to stop, you know."

"It's not that," I muttered.

He took a seat beside me. "What is it then?" he queried, bringing his hand up and resting it on my thigh. The tingling feeling was present.

"That," I said.

He raised a brow, the confusion evident on his face. "I'm not doing anything."

"You are. You're making me tingle."

He attempted to hide his ironic smirk but failed. "So I make you tingle?" he asked, raising his hand even higher.

I laughed quietly. "Don't get excited. I'm sure it's temporary." 

"Hm." He splayed his fingers out on my thigh then gripped it tightly. Then he released, his fingers slowly travelling up my thigh again, massaging it. I watched the movement of his hand. "Am I making you tingle now?" he asked softly.

"No," I lied.

He leaned his face closer and began kissing my neck. As much as I didn't want him to, the feeling enhanced even more. "How about now?" he whispered between kisses. 

"No."

"Don't lie to me, Ree." His finger traced patterns on my inner thigh. I was thankful that I wasn't wearing a skirt. He nipped at my neck and caressed me slowly. My thigh quivered. "Thighs shaking again?" he said on my skin.

"S-shut up." He smiled and quickly bit my earlobe. I lightly slapped his face away and laughed.

"Finally, you're smiling."

"You are too." He nodded in agreement. "Thanks for making me feel better."

His smile grew. "Anytime. There's more where that came from." He wriggled his fingers about and I understood what he meant.

"Don't be disgusting."

He gave a throaty chuckle. "I'm joking. But you know you're mine, init?"

My eyes narrowed. "Am I a piece of furniture? I don't belong to you."

"You do, in a sense." His eyebrows rose in amusement. I sneered at him. Now he was turning back into his annoying self.

"Fuck you."

"By all means," he smirked.

I kissed my teeth and sat back. "You're a freak."

"I'm not afraid to admit. I enjoy the freaky side of things. Want me to show you?" There was a lustful glint in his eye.

I instantly shook my head. "I'm cool."

"Nah really, I can show you." He pinched my neck and I laughed. He knew I was ticklish.

"Stop," I warned.

"Stop what?" he asked casually. He poked me in the ribs and I yelped. I hate the fact that he knew my ticklish spots. He went to poke me again but I slapped his hand away. 

"Seriously, Kayden! I'll bite your hand. I swear." He gave me a mocking grin and began to tickle me. I screeched in laughter, kicking my legs about and trying to escape as he clambered on top to sit on me and hold me in place. His hands travelled everywhere, but this time in an innocent way. I gasped for air as I laughed and continued to kick my legs about. This prick obviously didn't get the message. When I saw the opportunity, I opened my mouth wide and clamped down on his hand.

"ARGHH!" He jumped up, shocked. I laughed at his expression. "Ree, what the fuck?" 

"I said I'd bite you. I let you know in advance, don't even start with me."

He kissed his teeth and analysed his hand. The teeth marks were prominent. "Fucking animal," he muttered, rubbing his hand. I grinned at him. "I like that."

My smile faded.

Two hours flew by and I admit I felt a lot better now. The anger had boiled down and the ache in my chest had vanished miraculously. Kayden was sat against my headboard and I was sat in front of him, resting backwards on his chest as he ran his fingers lightly up and down my arm. 

"Kayden."

"Hm?"

"Never touch me down there again."

He chuckled. "Why? Didn't you like it?"

I stirred under his touch. I didn't want to discuss this right now. "Yes. That's why I don't want you to. I don't like saying your name all sexual." 

"I do." I slapped him on the leg and he smiled. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. I did too."

I huffed. "Kayden..."

"You took the pain well." 

"Argh."

"Next time I'll make it even more pleasurable for you." He tilted my head to one side and kissed my neck softly.

I paused at that. "Next time?"

He smiled against my skin. "That's right."

"There won't be a next time."

He brushed his knuckles against my cheek. "Don't be so sure." Why did that sound like a threat?

I shook my head and sighed. "Whatever. I know what I want." His fingertips descended my arm again.

"So do I." His voice was tainted with humour. I wanted to kick him in the jaw.

"Prick," I muttered.

"My hair needs doing." 

"So?"

"So do it for me," he whispered on my neck. His palms rubbed over my legs sensually.

"You asking or telling?"

"Telling." I rolled my eyes. He was very fidgety when it came to doing his hair. The last time he harassed my feet like some twat. "Or," he continued, "I'll just get Cassandra to do it."

I turned to face him. "Is she better than me?"

"No-one's better than you." He smiled and I nodded, and then my phone rang. I answered when I saw Stacey's name.

"Hey, biscuit." 

"Erm, hi," she greeted with a shaky voice. 

I quirked a brow. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah, sure. Erm ... I-I wanna ask you something," she whispered. 

"Why are you whispering?" 

"Becc's just answer me this one question." 

"Okay." 

"If someone was to get stabbed in the heart, how long would it take for them to die?" 

Wait, what? 

I scratched my head as I thought. "A bit gruesome don't you think, Stace?" 

"Rebecca just answer the question!" 

"Err, roughly half a minute. They'd die instantly. Why?"

"Nothing. Chat soon. Bye!" She hung up and I stared at my phone amazed. That was the weirdest, fucked up phone call I've ever had, and I talk to Chris on the phone—so that's saying something. 

"Who was that?" Kayden asked. 

"Stacey." 

"What was that about?"

"I...don't even know."

He chuckled and fiddled with my hair. "Remember Christian?"

"The tall feminine one with the mini afro?" 

"Yeah him." 

"That prick, what about him?"

"According to him you damaged his hair during the water fight. Now he's after you." 

"Tell him I said bring it on. I'll hit his balls so hard they'll wrap around his waist twice."

He laughed. "I'll tell him that."

"Make sure you do." He held me close and we fell into a comfortable silence. I took the time to think of different things; Kayden, work, school, Shanay, Shubdi. Everything. I turned and looked at Kayden who appeared to be in deep thought as well. I noticed the hair above his lips had grown, like he was becoming a man more and more each day. He was still a bitch boy at heart though. My bitch boy. I laughed at my thoughts. 

"What's funny?" he questioned. 

"Nothing. Don't worry your bushy little head about it dumpling." He raised an eyebrow and I grinned in return. He then wrapped his arms around my waist and lay back, pulling me with him so I was lying on top.

"You're insane," he whispered close to my ear.

"And you're annoying."

"You wasn't saying that when my fingers were inside you." I stiffened and heard him smile. He was irritating, but still, he had a point there. Argh.

"Shut up."

"I'm right though, aren't I?" I kissed my teeth in frustration. I wasn't going to hear the end of this. Ever.

"Whatever just stop talking about it."

His hand rested on my stomach and he began his usual circular stroke. "Why? Embarrassed?"

I closed my eyes. "N-no."

He chuckled; a deep, carnal, throaty chuckle. "This bet isn't over, Ree."

My eyes snapped open at the realisation. "But you're touching me."

"I know. I have more plans. Don't worry."

I'm definitely worried now.

"You hungry?" he asked. I checked the time. Six-thirty-three and my stomach was already speaking Swahili. I nodded in response. "Want me to buy you something?" 

"No need. We have a kitchen downstairs," I muttered sarcastically. He laughed and we headed downstairs.

I admit, a few hours ago I was ready to raise some hell because of how pissed I was. Now though, I was completely fine for the time being. Kayden was no longer angry aswell. I think us doing what we did released a lot of stress and tension...somehow. We entered the kitchen and I went straight to the fridge to take out the frozen pizza. I opened the packet and bent down to place it in the oven. Hopefully dad will be back with the goods soon. 

"Don't bend like that in front of me," I heard him murmur from behind. I looked back to see he was sat on the counter, staring at my ass.

I tutted. "Pervert. Don't look then." 

"Can't you just bend your knees?" 

"Look away," I said turning the dial on the oven.

"You're gonna make me go insane." 

"Just shut up," I hissed. Stupid guy.

Time went on and we relaxed in the kitchen, waiting for our snack to heat. I was too busy humming Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to even notice what this prick was doing opposite me. I then stopped, mid-hum, and peered at him. He was eyeing me.

"Why are you watching me?"

"You're watching me," he said. 

"You were watching me first." 

"How would you know unless you were watching me?" 

"Do you want a slap?" 

"Do you want a slap?"

I frowned. "Don't copy me." 

"Don't copy me." 

"Kayden!" 

"Rebecca!" 

"Kiss my ass!" 

"Come then." 

"Argh!" I grabbed a nearby spoon and dashed it in his direction, aiming for his head. He dodged effortlessly, giving a victorious smile as he did so.

"Too slow," he smirked. Fucking twat. I should dig his eyes out with a spork. 

"Don't start. I'll kick you out my yard," I threatened, hopping off the counter. By now the pizza was ready. I got two plates from the cupboard and cut the pizza into equal slices. Afterwards, I gave us three slices each. 

"I'm gonna need four," he said. 

"You take what you get." I tutted with my back to him. He laughed and came behind me to receive his helping. I handed him the plate of pizza and he smiled in appreciation.

"Thanks, Ree."

"No problem."

He picked up one slice and bit into it. "This is nice," he glanced at me, "but I'd rather eat you." I turned away from his sensual gaze and breathed deeply. Don't get sucked in, Becc's. DON'T.

"Maybe you should wait for me in the living-room," I suggested. It was hard to fight off the burning temptation of taking him right there. He smiled coyly before leaving the room. I sighed and sagged against the countertop. He was too dreamy; it was difficult to even function around him. Not to mention my area was throbbing, just by his words.

Fuck you, Kayden.

After recovering I took my plate and headed into the living-room. He was already sat there flicking through channels. I sat beside him and we settled on MTV. I bit into my pizza and Kayden bit into mine straight after. I gave him a threatening glare and he responded with a flirtatious smile.

"Aww, look at you," he cooed, peering at the picture of me, Kieran and Andre with our mum that hung on the wall. We were all much younger and carefree then. I sighed at the memories. Those were the days when I was still innocent, Andre wasn't a shadow walking around the house, and Kieran wasn't a man whore. We all looked so blissful and exultant. I stood beside mums chair as she cradled Andre in her lap. Kieran was stood behind mum's chair, leaning over her and cuddling her from behind. We all focused on the camera at the time the picture was taken; it was my favourite one. I smiled weakly.

"Back in the day," I muttered. 

"She's beautiful," he said quietly.

I analysed her in the picture. Her shoulder-length, chestnut hair hung in loose curls. Her wonderful light complexion contrasted with the background. Her eyes were a lovely shimmering brown. But the best thing of all was her smile: so radiant and joyful. She was always so happy, even during the bad times, she never stopped smiling. I mirrored her ancient smile and nodded in agreement. 

"I know."

*

The next day I walked down the road thinking about my list. I kept going through it over and over again. I had just finished a long day at work and walked with Kayden, but he went to see his friend Kenneth so I turned the other way to continue my journey. It's going to feel good to finally do this. I arrived at his door and rang the bell. I waited patiently and he soon answered; fully dressed in black clothing and holding a carrier bag. We both regarded each other. 

"What you doing here?" he questioned with a wary glance. I stared blankly. Not even a friendly hello. The prick.

I pushed passed him and he sighed before closing the door. I watched the bag that he had put on the floor. "What's that about?" I asked, my eyes still on the suspicious bag.

"You won't understand. Why are you here though? It's not safe."

I raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?" 

"I was just on my way out; I'm not staying here." 

"Okay, well I just came for a...quick visit." I smiled genuinely.

He nodded. "Want a drink or something?"

"Yeah. That'd be great." My smile broadened as I followed him into the kitchen. He pulled out two glasses from the cupboard and poured Pineapple juice into each. I thanked him and drank slowly. 

"Is anyone else here?"

Leon turned and shrugged. "Nah, just me."

I nodded slowly. "Good." I finished my drink and held the glass firmly in my hand. 

"Be right back yeah?" he said before leaving the room.

His phone was left on the table; I quickly picked it up and went straight to his inbox. I scanned all the recent texts he had received from Olivia. I knew I was right all along. I'm always right. He was still talking to her, despite everything we'd been through. I tutted and placed his phone back just before he entered the kitchen again, now wearing his Adidas trainers.

"You haven't tried to call," I said plainly. Not that I cared, I was just surprised.

"You wanted nothing to do with me so..." he shrugged and headed towards the sink. I saw him take out a carving knife and run it under the tap. "Why are you here, anyway?"

"To clear my conscience."

He turned around and raised a brow. "What?"

I laughed quietly. "I need closure. You cheated and lied to me about it. Why should I let you off so lightly?"

He shook his head in disbelief. "You're mad." 

"Trust me, you haven't seen mad yet." In one swift motion, I raised the glass in my hand and smashed it over his head. The action was quick and immediate. With a pain-filled shout, he fell to the floor, clutching his head and rocking. I stood over him with narrowed eyes.

"I can't get past all the lies, Leon. You made me look like a fucking mug." He peered up at me, blood trickling from his forehead. "Like a prick, I accepted all the lies you were feeding me. Now I've realised that people like to fuck me over 24/7, and I'm not gonna sit back and let it happen to me anymore." He attempted to get back up but I restrained him, pressing my foot against his chest and pushing him down once again. "Stay down! I'm not finished."

He groaned in pain and remained silent.

"The funniest thing is you thought I'd never find out." I laughed. "A woman's intuition is always right. Even before I went through your phone." He kissed his teeth and I screwed. Then I kicked him hard in the stomach, causing him to double up in pain. He was giving me attitude. Only I can give attitude. "Don't fucking kiss your teeth at me," I threatened calmly. He coughed and held onto his stomach. With the little strength he had left, he looked up at me once more.

"Fucking psycho bitch," he mumbled. 

"Maybe so..." I brought my leg up and stamped hard on his crotch. He yelled out in agony and held himself whilst groaning. I crouched down and watched him as he cupped his balls and twisted in pain. "But at least I can cross number one off my list."

I saw the knife he had dropped along with him. Without hesitation, I picked it up and stared at him. It wasn't enough that his forehead was bleeding. It wasn't enough that he was lying on the floor in distress...it just wasn't enough. I dragged him up by his collar. By now he looked delirious. 

"I hate you and cheating ways, Leon. Before I was bothered by it, but now I don't care. You expected me to accept all the lies, but I'm not a fool. I saw through everything. I wish you and Olivia a good life together. So you have a good time ramming your tiny dick up her bucket. I know things about her; I know what she does and who she does it with. So I'll continue to live my life while you carry on destroying yours. You had me and you lost me, and its fine, 'cause there are better guys out there who actually appreciate me."

I pulled him closer, simultaneously wedging the sharp blade into his thigh. His mouth widened with bulbous eyes and he gasped as I pushed the knife deeper. 

"Something to remember me by," I whispered in his ear.

I stood up and looked down at him; the blood rapidly seeped out of his leg. That was when he gave a loud, piercing shout and collapsed on the floor again. With a pounding forehead, injured penis and a bleeding leg—I was satisfied. He held onto his leg as blood oozed down his clothes. I stared, unfazed.

"Think again before you cross me, Leon; you might just lose a testicle." I turned away and left. I walked down the road casually, not having any regrets. If anything, I was relieved. Now I had a lot of weight lifted off my shoulders. I've been waiting to get him back for months. I knew no consequences would come of this either. Both of our fingerprints were on that knife. Plus, I knew Leon well, he wouldn't want the police involved.

I was bent on revenge, and as God as my witness, I was going to get it.

I smiled as I mentally crossed a line through Leon's name. 

One down. Three to go.